Detective Humphries Is Picking His Battles

Detective Humphries was kicked off the case of who put a baby in Myla Sinanaj’s belly because lies and babies are the same shape on a sonogram. Rather than comment on the case, Humphries is clearing up another far, far less contentious rumour. The case of whether he was kicked out of Beacher’s Madhouse club in Hollywood. Kelly Osbourne, who is friends with Kim Kardashian, tweeted: ‘Im creative director/business partners w/ @jeffbeacher Beachers Madhouse is OUR club so I have the right to let in or deny anyone!’ Humphries denies reports that he was kicked out at Osbourne’s behest, saying: ‘I never usually address garbage, but don’t people think that saying I got kicked out of somewhere, when I was literally the last person to leave is a pretty stupid thing to lie about? Do people ever think that they will lose credibility when hundreds of people know what they are writing isn’t true?’ Because ‘hundreds’ of people read The Internets, Jeff Beacher of Beacher’s Madhouse tried to clarify: ‘@krishumphries you didn’t get thrown out pal! You loo looked like you were having a great time to me!’ With no other clues or suspects, and again failing to identify himself in a lineup, Humphries will hand the case over to the SRS BSNS Police (the FBI).

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