Kirsten Dunst Lucky Magazine January 2012

Kirsten Dunst tucked in her snaggle teeth for the cover of Lucky. I’m just playing, it’s a cute cover. She covers the boobs she insists are ‘huge’ (in which case she needs them on display at all times, for science). But she looks great. It might be the ‘shopping of her proportions, but she looks thinner, right? Slimmer all over with more balanced proportions. Well, maybe it’s hard to fit her entire mouth over a soup can with her teeth in the way. She’s probably starving to death as we speak. Maybe we should start a ‘Drip Feed Snaggle Teeth’ fund? She tells the magazine: ‘You lose like five pounds immediately [when you spray tan].’ Oh, hold off on collecting last night’s sweaty strang singles. She’s not dying.

On this not being a comeback, post-rehab: ‘Just don’t write the ‘she’s back!’ thing. I wasn’t ever away! Sorry I wasn’t in Spiderman 4 a year after I was in Spiderman 3!’
On lazy journalism: ‘You know what else I don’t like? Most people ask me questions based on a previous interview. That’s not an interview. It’s like they’re just saying my quotes back to me… And at this point, you can’t ask me about [the movie Melancholia] because I only have my go-to answers in my head.’
On the novelty of celebrity: ‘If you walk in the room and you’re like, ‘Ta da! I’m here!’ and you’re all done up, then yes, you’re going to get noticed. But if you’re normal, then you get recognized a lot less.’
On The Bachelorette: ‘I’m obsessed with that show! The girls go so crazy. And the fact that everyone is freaking out about the roses! It’s insane! I wish there was one person who was like, she drops an octave, ‘Um, you guys are all crazy. This is the dumbest thing ever.’’
On red carpets: ‘I hate red carpet photographs! It’s such flat lighting! They take away my cheekbones; I just become a moonface. I hate those photos so much. I always look terrible. And they don’t know angles on faces. There is no artistry to it. It’s like… I hate them!’
On hating her nose: ‘I don’t love it. It’s round. I like strong noses on women… I wear foundation every day [to fix my skin tone]; I look dis-gust-ing without it.’
More on her skin: ‘[I have] the kind of skin that you touch and it gets red. [Get spray tans] you lose like five pounds immediately, and your face is glowing and gorgeous! I look amaziiiiiiing! I did it for my last movie. Then Isla saw me and was like, ‘I’m gonna get spray-tanned too!’ I only did it twice so I’m tan in like two scenes and super-pale in the rest of the film.’
On her body: ‘I like my legs. I like wearing short dresses and high heels. And I think I have good hair. The last time I cut it short, my boyfriend at the time was like, ‘You look so much better with short hair.’ So I cut it off… I know, I know, so stupid! My girlfriend thinks he just didn’t want any guys to look at me. ‘Mwuh-hah-hah! How can I make her ugly? Cut off her hair!’ I actually can’t wait to have long hair. It’s getting a little longer and my face already looks better.’
On settling down: ‘I thought when I reached 30 I’d have a lot more figured out. Until you have a kid, you’re just looking for your partner. And guys have a Peter Pan vibe. They’re 35 and they act like they’re 25. That’s what scares me about being in my 30s: not finding someone to have kids with.’
On having babies: ‘I can’t wait to relive life in a little kid’s way. I’m so ready for that lifestyle: Get a little place upstate and have them go to school up there.’
On nudity: ‘[I'm] pretty prude. I’m shocked by certain people’s behavior. I like the idea of not living with someone and having your own places. I’m very traditional.’
On her family’s reaction to her fame: ‘I had such a great childhood. My parents and I are really close. It’s funny: Every role they see their daughter in, they feel like is really happening. I remember when my dad saw All Good Things, he was like ,’And then you died!’ I’m like, ‘Dad, I’m right here! I’m alive! I’m fine.’’