Yesterday, I noted that a locksmith is all that separates Kimmode from her captor Princess Kanye who is basically keeping her prisoner in the whorehouse until their kid is old enough to drive. Turns out, however, not even a locksmith could have saved Kimmode. She’s either got Stockholm syndrome at this point or she’s choosing not to leave until she’s lost every single pound of baby weight. Now, to be clear, I’m going to use my uterus to store old CDs as is my right, I’m never having kids of my own if I can help it (and since I didn’t skip health class, I probably can help it), so maybe depriving yourself of natural daylight until your personal trainer says you can go is a thing. But according to Kris Jenner’s personal diary, Us Weekly, Kimmode missed her sister’s birthday because she doesn’t want any full-length body photos until she has her old body back. For reference, this is her body almost immediately prior to getting pregnant. It’s the body she’s been telling people weighed ’115 lbs.’ A source tells the magazine, Kim is ‘extremely self-conscious about her current body.’ So, ’when she comes out and gets photographed for the first time, she wants to look hot, hot, hot.’ However, ‘The weight is not coming off as quickly, she plateaued, this is the hard part now.’ The insider adds, ‘[This is about] Kim being inside her head and obsessed… She’s always complaining about her size. She says she hates the way she looks and won’t go out again until she is skinnier.’ I guess we may not see her until she and the baby leave to go on tour with Kanye, ‘she thinks it will take at least another month to get to where she wants to be. Only when she’s there will she start thinking about showing her body to the world.’
EDIT: I guess Princess Kanye let her out, because she’s been spotted.