Kim Kardashian Pregnant Already? Wedding Date?

Is Kim Kardashian Having A Shotgun Wedding?

Short answer: no. Longer answer: Magazines were light on things to fabricate, this slow news week, so we’re getting concurrent lies about Kim Kardashian.

There are three main updates about Kardashian, which should each get their own post. But f**k it. She’s being stuffed three-in-one. Just the way she likes it. In fact, I’m going to pee all over this post when I’m done. So she knows it was written with love. First, above is this week’s comical and supposition-riddled OK! I’ve never seen so much conjecture on one cover. It’s almost impressive. This week’s lie: Kardashian’s already pregnant. This is based on nothing, as are all OK! stories. If you look at the cover, there’s no direct link between the vague declaration of being pregnant, a quote not attributed to Kardashian herself, and the cover bylines about ‘telling family.’ It’s smoke and mirrors because there is no story. They pasted together some nonsensical quotes about how she’s going to start a family soon. Which isn’t the same as being pregnant right now. In addition, Lies&Style made Kardashian their cover girl declaring that she’s rushing down the aisle in the next eight weeks, before the start of basketball season (I didn’t know there was a season, but whatever). It would make sense, if it were true. It’s claimed a July or August wedding will take place so that the couple will have time for a honeymoon. Oh, lastly, it’s claimed that Kardashian will be changing her name to Kim Humphries, removing the family name. Her mother’s not happy, ‘I don’t think she should take his name and be Kim Humphries. She needs to be Kim Kardashian because she’s worked so hard to get where she is.’