Katy Perry’s Uterus Blamed For Marriage Split

Obviously. Because GOOP deemed it so in an edict, chirrens must be the center of every woman’s life. If you don’t surrender your uterus and reproductive rights at the altar, your world/ marriage will crumble around you. For GOOP told me so. At least that’s what I glean from new source reports about what went wrong in the marriage of Katy Perry and Russell Brand. According to sources, it’s Perry’s fault the marriage failed because she didn’t immediately halt her career to start a family (I’m not sure I believe the sources, since the marriage was only 14-months total and their lifestyles seemed to be more contentious). But, for the record, sources claim: ‘I don’t think Katy really understood what marriage was about. I don’t think she was prepared to give up her career. This wasn’t one of those occasions when Russell was mucking about, he wanted to settle down and have a family. I don’t think that’s what Katy wants. I think she’s very confused. They’ve been speaking a lot. There have been a lot of phone calls this week. Katy is 27. That’s not too young to get married. But professionally she is in a very powerful position. She’s just done a year-long tour, she’s incredibly successful and she wasn’t ready to give up her career. I don’t think she was prepared to give that up and give time to the marriage. It was reported she was taking a year off, but I don’t think she’s doing that. It’s very sad. Russell is very cut up about it all. It’s not great news. It is very raw and very recent. I don’t know what will come from this.’ So, um, marriage is tantamount to giving up one’s career. Noted. Sidenote: Asked about the split, Perry’s father said: ‘I can’t talk, I’m sorry about that [but] I’ve had 1,500 people calling me today. I’m really sorry.’

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