Kate Upton Nearly Went Deaf & Blind So You’d Have New Pictures To Masturbate To… Really

I ignored Kate Upton’s breasts on the cover of Sports Illustrated because the same breasts were on the same cover last year and there are a bunch more on a place called Bing that you can find on something called Internet Explorer. But Upton nearly died shooting a cover that looks like it was shot on a white background in Uncle Terry’s basement and an iStock ‘winter’ background Photohopped in behind her. Turns out that thing was actually shot in Antarctica which means I’m pretty much spitting in her face, and in yours, if I don’t at least post it. Upton tells Today: ‘When I came back, I was like losing hearing and eyesight because my body was shutting down. It was working so hard to keep me warm. It was freezing. I’m from Florida so, it wasn’t great… Obviously, the pictures now, it’s incredible. I can’t believe we were all able to accomplish that.’