Jon Hamm Talks Outdoor Sex: It’s Been A While

In an interview with Playboy that’s bound to make straight men the world over question the appeal of d**k versus vagina, Jon Hamm gives altogether too much thought to the idea of outdoor sex. Insofar as it’s better in porn or in the abstract than done in real life. ‘It’s been a while,’ said Hamm. ‘In the era of TMZ, I don’t think outdoor sex is a particularly good idea. It’s one of those things that sound way better than they actually are. There’s something not sexy about all the twigs and bugs and sand. You end up with stuff in places you don’t want it. It always looks better in the well-lit Skinemax version.’ The rest comprises a four-page interview that I started to read… then skimmed when it became one-note save for re-told anecdotes about Hamm being orphaned. The only things that really interested me further were his musings on being unmarried and child-free in a long-term relationship with Jennifer Westfeldt, read below.

Oh… I somehow missed the quotes about ‘bouncing around,’ in a thong, filming sex scenes with Bridesmaids co-star Kristen Wiig so those are added below too.

On whether Friends With Kids is more autobiographical than he or his girlfriend are letting on: ‘Oh sure, I understand that [assumption]. And there is some autobiography to it. We’ve seen enough of our friends, who shall obviously remain nameless, become parents, and sometimes it’s hard not to think they shouldn’t have had kids.’
On whether his real friends rushed into having kids: ‘That’s what it seems like. Maybe they should’ve waited. But if you wait until you’re ready to have kids, then it’s possible you’ll never have kids. The unspoken corollary to that is, maybe some people shouldn’t have kids. Which you’re not allowed to say because people get offended.’
On whether he wants children: ‘I don’t have a driving force to have a baby. That said, I’m in a committed relationship, and if it ever came up, I’m not ruling it out. There’s a reason it hasn’t been prioritized, because I don’t think either of us has that pull. I don’t know; it could happen tomorrow. I have no clue.’
On whether marriage is off the table: ‘It was never a discussion [with Jennifer and I]. I think marriage often is an arrangement between families more than an arrangement between the two people involved. I don’t have a particularly defined example of marriage in my life. My parents got divorced when I was two and never remarried. So it doesn’t mean anything to me. I don’t mean to say that it shouldn’t mean things to other people. I’m not judging it one way or another. It’s just my experience. I don’t have that paragon of married life to look at and think, Oh yeah, that’s it! That’s what I want!’
… in another part of the interview he addresses his Bridesmaids sex scenes with co-star Kristen Wiig: ‘It’s like running in the rain. There’s a certain point where you go, ‘F**k it, I’m already wet. I’m not going to get any less wet so I might as well enjoy how this feels.’ I mean sure, there’s an awkwardness about being in a weird flesh-colored thong, bouncing on top of an actress. And I am not a small human being. I weigh at least 200 pounds and I’m six-foot-two. And Wiig is a twig; she’s a skinny little thing. I told her, ‘Just punch me in the side if I’m hurting you.’ It’s weird and uncomfortable at first but then all the awkwardness melts away and you think, ‘All right, we’re doing this, so let’s have fun with it.’’

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