Jessica Simpson Photoshopped For Vanity Fair

Jessica Simpson Vanity Fair Cover June 2009 Cover – more pictures below.

Jessica Simpson can be seen above on the cover of the June 2009 Vanity Fair (the interview can be found here). I saw this cover yesterday and needed some time to compose myself, and to be honest, I am still at a loss.

Not the best quality for a writer, but you tell me what is going on with this cover. Rather than release the hounds on the Vanity Fair biotches who let this cover into the wild, I’ll let out MooMoo’s dungeon troupe. They are half-starved by now and hungry for blood. They’ll butcher a mother effer for this sloppy azz work.

Simpson’s chins have been airbrushed and so she looks all purdy around the chops, also her hair is Beyonda Farce grade fierce. The lack of the seven spare tyres that I placed around her waist for safe keeping is something of a concern (whoever took them, I would like them back please).

Ignoring the fact that at this point she has no product to speak of that is worth gracing the pages of such a prestigious magazine, can we address precisely how she got on the cover in the first place. I suspect that like the drunken prom date she is, she wandered down the halls of Cosmo Girl and somehow ended up in the offices of Vanity Fail, mistaking them for a potty. I too wonder how many d*cks it took to get this cover. I bet Daddy Simpson’s jaw is locked like a mother right now. Hope this cover was worth taking a hard one to the face Pops.