Jessica Simpson has given birth to something one gathers is a newborn and not a millennial. Moreover, Simpson’s baby thing is called the baby thing name the tabloids reported months ago: Maxwell, Maxi for short as claimed by In Touch Weekly. Which I was hoping was not true because Maxi Johnson is kind of an unfortunate name. Simpson checked into hospital just over one hour ago, and she’s already delivered. Which means she was correct, and her daughter exploded from her uterus from a waterslide attached to Simpson’s vagina. The family issued a statement on her website: ‘Eric and I are elated to announce the birth of our baby girl, Maxwell Drew Johnson. We are grateful for all the love, support and prayers we have received. This has been the greatest experience of our lives!!’ The baby weighed 9 lbs. 13 oz. at 21¾ inches long. Maxwell is Eric Johnson’s middle name, while Drew is Simpson’s mother Tina’s maiden name.
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