I Am Terribly Perplexed By The Contents Of Jamie Lynn Spears’ Womb

The ’sources’ orbiting Jamie Lynn Spears might want to start coordinating their rumour spreading, ay? [Website – Amy Grindhouse]

One minute, she’s pregnant… the next minute, she isn’t.

It’s too damn exhausting for lazy bloggers like me to keep up with and I’ll be damned if I am posting every three-hours about this hillbilly’s womb and the cheeto-fed spawn contained within!

Early last week, the interweb was abuzz with ‘confirmed’ reports that KMart Spears and her ovaries had been busy, baby-making.

The news was so juicy that people just wanted it to be true.

Reports were being fired off left, right and centre, about whether the bumper-pack of economy condoms JL bought on sale at Target worked their magic, or not.

Seems no one can make up their mind for sure. So here are the hot biatches of the National Enquirer to help us all out:

Despite anonymous public denials, a Spears family member has come forward and confirmed that 17-year-old Jamie Lynn IS pregnant again! What’s more, The NATIONAL ENQUIRER has learned that Casey Aldridge, the baby’s father, erupted in anger when he found out. Jamie Lynn had been keeping the pregnancy secret and Casey learned about it through media reports after The ENQUIRER broke the story earlier this week.

Now, a close family member has revealed exclusively that the Spears family is in an uproar and Jamie Lynn is being pressured to abort the baby. The anonymous public denials of Jamie Lynn’s pregnancy, says the family member, are simply buying the Spears family time until they decide what to do.

“Jamie Lynn’s mom is furious about the pregnancy,” the family member told an ENQUIRER source. “And she’s livid the news leaked out, especially during her book tour. Lynne doesn’t want to talk about it publicly until they sort this out. Jamie Lynn is being pressured by people very close to her to abort. But no decision has been made yet. Casey is furious. Jamie Lynn hadn’t told him about the pregnancy. He learned about it in the media and then confronted her and she told him it was true. Lynne and Jamie Lynn have been arguing nonstop by phone.”

[From the National Enquirer via PNasty]

Jump forward to next week when I have to retract this bunk, when it turns out that Spears wasn’t really pregnant, she just held in a fart for too long…

[IMAGE CREDIT: Splash News]

AmyGrindhouse.com written by Amy Grindhouse © All logos and original content should not be reproduced without permission. All rights reserved. When quoting, use excerpts with attribution only. No images may be used without prior permission.