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Hayden Panettiere Cellulite Rant Attacks Critics

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Hayden Panettiere has ranted about those who poke fun of her for her “cellulite and flabby thighs”.

“I live in criticism every day. I used to walk my dogs in my PJs but now I have to make sure I look half decent or else I get trashed,” Hayden — best known for her role as Claire the Cheerleader on the NBC sci-fi drama Heroes – laments in a new interview with AGW.

“Or like having cellulite on the back of your legs. I’m sorry, I’m a woman! I don’t know what you want me to tell you. I’m sorry it’s not going to go away. I can’t do anything about it. I apologize if my legs offended you!” (via Ocean Up)

Panytliner is right to get her angry smack-talking b*tch on, as she is about the size of your thumb and has been blessed with the body of a 12-year-old boy. And 12-year-old boys don’t have no damn cellulite. She also has no bubes and no bum to speak of, but we are less concerned with that for the moment.

Rather than sweat about the fact that someone barely out of puberty has yet to perfect her tiny physique, we should all be more concerned with the fact that when drunk and slurring your words, this woman’s surname kind of sounds like you are saying “pantyliner”. Also, there is concern  that lazy bloggers “does not want” to learn to spell or “CTRL+V” her name throughout every post and so like Tofu Paltrow and all the other chicas with hard to spell names, she shall be cursed with a random nickname until such time as she is so kind as to change her name by deed poll to “Claire Smith” or something that takes less time to type out.

Image credit to Fame Pictures.

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7 Comments

  1. Pauls says:

    “Claire Smith”

    I understand Claire is a fat girl’s name. Good soothsaying there!

    1. You gimme the lols… so glad I ain’t called Claire :P

      1. Pauls says:

        I totally yield credit to John Bender on “The Breakfast Club” for that. In my experience, though, Claire isn’t really that fat of a name. Dawn, however, seems to be. (LOVE ya, Dawn French!)

  2. Firecracker says:

    This is sad. Hayden’s young. The problem with trashing the young girls is that their esteem is still fragile. You can tell that she’s personally bothered by the commentary. Hayden’s young, rich and famous. She should know that she’s the one winning. :)

    1. She does sound bovvered… which is why I makes funnies about her name and not her bottom.

  3. Mystery Man says:

    sounds like they struck a little cellulite nerve…lol

    i know what you mean about her last nme being a bitch to specll check. i tend to just put hayden. unless i happen to also be talking about that dude fro the Star Wars prequels, everyone knows who I’m talking abut

    1. No one ever knows what the heck I’m talking about… maybe I should try harder to talk sense :P