You poop wrong. Yes, you. The way you do everything is insufficient and inferior, including the way you poop. But, have no fear, GOOP is here! She’s here to give you a demonstration of how one mounts the terlet sidesaddle and doesn’t splash. I wish I were kidding about all of this, but I honestly get the distinct impression this new GOOP colon cleanse product is more of a judgement of our bowel movements than a money-making endeavor. The $425 kit includes a three-week supply of: Nourish: Protein powder; Move: Fiber powder; Clear 1: Probiotic anti-microbial; Balance: Insulin regulator; Cleanse Manual, Ease: Digestive enzyme; Encourage: Strong probiotic; Clear 2: Herbal anti-microbial; Relief: Liver support; Recipe Guide. I’m not fancy enough to understand this, but I think it’s overpriced Ex-Lax. Its use is part of GOOP’s New Year edict, third year running.
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Four hundred twenty five bucks to poop goop? I mean……oh never mind, the jokes write themselves. It’s just too easy.
Her terlet probably has stirrups and handle bars. And a cone of silence that drops down and plays soothing sounds of the Ozarks.