Reports of Gisele Bundchen and Tom Brady’s fabulous (if superfluous) wedding day were missing a detail or two.
The reports that most would have read, in the mainstream media, would have been of the beauty of the bride, her fabulous and flowing ivory gown, and the fact that she pigged out on a grape and a half, during her wedding dinner.
More important details were skimmed over by those (me) who were too busy nose-picking and reporting on the arse falling out of the world markets. Realising the error of our ways and loudly damning those who choose to report real news over the marital affairs of pretty AListers, the world is now waking up to the fact that there was absolute bedlam at the Bundchen/ Brady wedding.
There was reportedly a shooting at that damn wedding!
So scary was the shooting that it had two of the people involved pooping their pants with excitement. After all, who cares about crappy, grainy long-lens photos (below), when there is an exclusive story to be told.
Two paps, Cortez and Rolando Aviles, said they “narrowly escaped death” after being shot at. Bundchen’s security guards apparently went a little insane in the membrane, after being forced to join in Bundchen’s all-grape diet and went postal on those snooping MFers.
“Are they insane? I could have lost my life for the sake of some pictures Gisele didn’t want published. I couldn’t believe it when I realized what they had done,” asked photographer, who was covering the wedding for INF Daily.
According to the spokes-whores for the celebrity photo and news agency, the paps were hiding in the brush near Bundchen’s estate taking some pictures when they were accosted by the newlyweds’ security guards. No one was reported hurt in the incident, but Costa Rica police are investigating.