Dakota Fanning’s warmed crotch is trying to sell me Thigh Sweat ™. Whatever’s in that bottle, I’m pretty sure it smells better than Sperm In A Bottle ™ by Kim Kardashian. Here’s Fanning’s advert for Oh, Lola! by Marc Jacobs; a name they’re using literally, as part of their marketing strategy. Yes, really, ‘We recolored the bottle and changed the juice [...] This Lola is more of a Lolita than a Lola, but we weren’t going to call the fragrance Lolita. Lola is more seductive; Oh, Lola is sensual, but she’s sweeter.’ I’m always suspicious when body parts do the selling. The same way Jennifer Aniston’s breasts can’t sell me Smart Water, Fanning’s thighs can’t sell me a fragrance. I’m slightly more sold by the water. At least it’ll make my brain and my breasts larger. Oh, and, it’s a Fragrance For Women promoted by a 17-year-old. Suck on that, while you’re rotting in big boy prison.
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