Christina Aguilera is still on the press tour that has amounted to her explaining over and over that if you hate the Bionic album you must hate your own ears because it’s ‘ahead of its time’ rather than just being bad. And aside from talking about her weight gain, she’s not really said another word that’s not condescending, pretentious, or rote, at this point. It’s been ‘I love my body, soooo much I ate someone else’s body, and the only reason you hate Bionic is because you hate ears and you’re not smart enough to understand real music.’ And now, all of a sudden, she’s feeling all the feelings about everything in The Hollywood Reporter who must have slipped some Go Juice into her regular juice. For example, in rare form, Aguilera explains her hatred for online critics: ‘Now everyone is a critic. I don’t read blogs. It’s just God knows who in Buttf**k wherever writing hate s**t. You can’t take it seriously. I’m sure you’ve all been hated on at some point by buttf**k people… It’s real talk today.’ More below.
- On filming Burlesque: ‘Cher taught me about how, for your off-camera scenes, [you should] be just as good if not more of an actor [for] the person you’re in the scene with. It’s going to make the whole thing better… to really be a giving actor. It makes for an amazing scene. You start to understand and appreciate the beauty of film and the passion, the love and the craft that goes into the whole process. It was a wonderful learning experience.
- On why she can be a miserable b**ch: ‘It’s hard being such a powerful woman in the business. I’m known for not always being warm and fuzzy, because you’ll just get bulldozed over. You learn to put up this little protective shield, but it’s because of something. In my music, I come off as being very open about being insecure, vulnerable and sensitive sometimes. Then I’ll go onstage and be this powerhouse force to be reckoned with.’
- On avoiding the tabloids: ‘I’m a mother. I’m a businesswoman. I have a zillion and one things going on in my head, on my plate, creatively. I put my son to bed then I go right into my backyard, which is my studio house. It’s a lot. I really truly don’t have time for the static noise. It’s just not real. They’re not real magazines. It’s trash. It’s rumors… If my son has a cute picture [in the tabloids] of him playing soccer one day, I’ll be like, ‘Oh, forward me that,’ but my publicist will tell you, I don’t want to hear the good or the bad. I don’t want to believe my own hype. I want to stay hungry and stay eager and be the best that I can be.’
- On very young people being smart enough to ‘get it’: ‘These 6-year-olds weren’t around when I had Genie in a Bottle and Fighter. They are watching me in this big red chair giving advice. There’s a lot of auto tune going on now and that’s all great, it’s an art form. But what’s great about The Voice [is that] it’s just raw, real talent.’
- And she doesn’t watch this s**t: ‘I’ve not actually seen a full episode of any of the other music shows. I saw the commercials early on of American Idol of Simon being a d**k. I was like, ‘Man, that’s not what it’s about!’ I didn’t want to treat people like that. I wanted to do The Voice to show that we can be positive. We don’t have to knock people down… Jennifer Hudson came from American Idol and went on to do Dreamgirls and won an Oscar. I know we all have different formats. I don’t even watch my own show: I tape it, I’m out. Time to be mommy and time to work on my record and of course invest time in my team, picking songs. I juggle a lot.’
- She thinks The Voice judges like her: ‘We’ve got a chemistry like a family. Everyone knows me and Adam [Levine] can bicker and get on each other’s case. Cee-Lo is just cool, he comes from a real artistic value place. Blake [Shelton] is just a good old time. He’s become my big bro.’
- On warnings from Linda Perry (who penned Beautiful): ‘Linda Perry is raw, she’s real, and she intimidates a lot of grown men. She’s amazing. I was having a really bad day. I came into her studio. It was at her house at the time. I was working with her on a bunch of stuff. She just kind of sat down at her piano in her dining room and started singing.’ …Perry discouraged her from doing all of the ‘showy vocal stuff [saying] Don’t do all that Mariah s**t.’ That was her, not me, I love that s**t! But she was like ‘don’t be doing all that acrobatic s**t, just sing!”
- On belatedly joining Twitter: ‘I was really late to [Twitter]. To me, it was presented as like, ‘This is what I’m having for breakfast this morning.’ I was like, ‘Really? Who cares.” But now she’s gotten the hang of what it can be. ‘I said something the other day on Twitter and I was like, ‘Oh, this is what you can use Twitter for!’ I might have opened up a whole new can of worms and a new appreciation for it. I just didn’t want to be generic. Some people use it in a frivolous way.’
- And, finally: ‘S**t happens, man. This is the business. It’s not going to be all cute and pretty and tied up in a little bow.’