Chad ‘Ochocinco’ Johnson and Evelyn Lozada married on Independence Day, right after which he forgot to use his outside voice, flash cards, and big boy words, and instead resorted to headbutting as a form of communication during a fight about a receipt for mistress condoms that he left in plain sight. Lozada ran to a neighbour’s house where the neighbour phoned 911. Several stitches, an indefinitely postponed VH1 reality show, and a public firing later, and this is how Johnson is responding to his wife publicly distancing herself from him with statements and an interview with ABC News during which she says she’d still be with him if he’d just used the damn flash cards. Johnson posted a photo to Twitter showing a tattoo of Lozada’s face on his leg because, abusive or no, he’s still a fame-whore. It’s not clear whether it’s real or just temporary to get attention, but there’s a giant image of his estranged wife on his calf.
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Cool, he can let it grow a beard! Or go full Wookie.