Suri Cruise, every one’s favourite Alien Princess, has been enrolled into a Catholic School. The enrollment into a non-Scio school was at the insistence of her mother, Katie Holmes.

It would be no stretch to assume that devotee father, Cruise, wanted his Scio-tot to go to a Scientology school. However, rather than take babies communications courses or whatever it is tots do at a Scio-pre-school, Suri will be learning how to colour inside the lines at a school teaching another religion.

According to NY Daily News, the three-year-old was enrolled in Catholic Charities Yawkey Centre For Early Education And Learning, in Boston, last week.

Nine photos of Suri, Tom, and Katie in Boston, Massachusetts on Sunday Oct. 11, 2009. And more details, below.

It seems the 30-year-old mom wants the toddler to be educated as she was — even though hubby Tom Cruise, 47, is a committed Scientologist. “Katie has been listening to her parents who are devout Catholics,” a source told the Daily Mail. “She is not convinced by Scientology.”

Apparently, the struggle over Suri’s education has been ongoing. “They had been having huge problems agreeing on her school. To say they were having arguments is putting it mildly – but Tom came around to the idea in the end,” the source told the Daily Mail. Cruise was also raised as a Catholic but converted to Scientology in 1990. (via NY Daily News)

Image via Fame Pictures. Story & info. The Daily Mail via NY Daily News.

Katie Holmes features on one of five new Elle magazine covers. The November 2009 Elle is the Women in Hollywood issue and also features covers from Emily Blunt, Julianne Moore, Renee Zellweger, and Zoe Saldana.

In the magazine the queen of all Scilons and mother to the world’s cutest alien princess, Suri, talks about being on Tommy’s leash and how it’s not easy being a robot wife.

In the issue the 30-year-old wife of 47-year-old daddy Scilon says that sometimes her partner critiques what she wears and lets her know if he doesn’t like the way she dresses. It’s like having her own tiny one-man Queer Eye team on staff at her Scio-mansion. She lie-tells convincingly and says she appreciates the criticism, in much the same way I lie-tell and say I appreciate the interventions every time my drinking becomes a problem again.

Katie Holmes quotes are below about how Tom Cruise runs this fashion-bish.

• Katie Holmes to Elle on Tom Cruise critiquing her clothing: “He usually likes everything, but sometimes I’ll walk out and he’ll say, ‘I think that dress might be wearing you. You don’t need that,’” She says she appreciates the feedback. “Tom has great taste.”
• Katie Holmes to Elle on family life: “In my own life, my whole world really revolves around family. I do what I need to do, but it’s like, ‘How is everybody else doing?’ And it’s wonderful for me as an actress to put some of that into a character.”
• Katie Holmes to Elle on her favourite fashion designers: “I love Alaïa, for sure. Stella McCartney. I like Ralph Lauren because I feel like it’s very American, and I’m pretty all-American, from Ohio. Isabel Marant and a new designer, Sari Gueron.”

Special thanks to Elle for providing the cover.

…and for reason #2,400,928 proving that Suri Cruise leads a more charmed life than you, The Sun claims that the daughter of Katie Holmes and Tom Cruise has a wardrobe of designer clothes worth $2 million.

An insider said, “They really splurge on Suri.” The pair’s pal Victoria Beckham is also said to have commissioned designer Roberto Cavalli to make a dress for Suri.  The source added: “Suri is very vocal when it comes to outfits. She’s rarely seen in anything twice.” (via The Sun)

Image credit to DS-ISM2/Rocstar2/ Flynet Pictures & quote via The Sun.

When looking for celebrity baby images today what I actually found included pictures of three-year-old Suri Cruise wearing a pair of baby-sized high heels.

The daughter of Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes was spotted out with her mother, on a rare day off the leash, wearing a tiny pair of baby heels. Don’t get it twisted, these aren’t the tiny soft heels you may have seen previously. Those are for tiny prostitots and not for classy babies like Suri. However, she was wearing heels at only age three. I don’t even wear heels and I’m a grown ass woman.

Image credit to Fame Pictures.

Is Katie Holmes weight-training or something? Is she a new and upgraded Windows Vista version that comes with Go Go Gadget arms? Um, are some three-year-olds not super duper heavy?

I know Katie is only a robot wife, and therefore she has no feeling in her extremities. However, unless she wants her robot arms to break off, methinks it would be a good idea to put that baby down and let her walk.

Image credit to Fame Pictures.

Katie Holmes covers one of the four Fall/Winter issues of AnOther magazine.

This magazine, that is so super important and trendy that I didn’t even know it existed until today, shows Holmes looking a little more alieny and a little less robot-y than normal. Guessing Tommy must have finally exchanged her at Ikea, like I recommended forever and a day ago. Maybe now that she is running on Windows Vista and not frikkin’ Windows ‘95 she’ll stop crashing and start functioning like a proper sex robot. There’s something kind of 80s about the cover that I can’t put my finger on. Well, I can put my finger on it, but I hear Katie bot bites when she’s cornered, so I don’t wanna.

On the cover Our Lady of the Scilons can be seen flashing. She’s doing it wrong, but she’s still flashing. AAs or DDs, opening your trench like that in front of innocent eyes counts as a flash. Trust me. I’ve been caught and booked enough times to know the difference.

Not only is the ‘bot on the cover, she is joined on the limited edition publication by several other aliens; Kate Moss, Nathalie Portman and Vanessa Paradis.

Kate Moss is posing off her Other Cotton Candy side wearing a fuchsia ruffled dress by John Galliano. Katie Holmes is playing with her dark side as an Evil Fairy Other side in an Alaia. These two colourful shots are the work of photographer, Craig McDean. Then we have Nathalie Portman and Vanessa Paradis who were shot by the black and white master photographer Heidi Slimane. Nathalie is wearing a gorgrous creation by Lanvin and Vanessa is in a timeless piece by Chanel. (via Style by Me)

Katie Holmes can be seen above, on the set of Don’t be Afraid of the Dark.

The movie, also starring Guy Pearce of Memento, is being filmed in Australia.

I thought these pictures were interesting for several reasons, not least because when I saw the image above my only thought was “FREEDOM!”… Katie Bot has made a run for it and has escaped from the grips of Tommy. Hmm. Pretty sure robots get rusty, and otherwise require a lot of maintenance. Not sure how Bot is going to stay rust free, fending for herself in the wild. I guess so long as she doesn’t need any repairs, escaping could be the best thing she has ever done.

Katie Holmes takes a break with her daughter Suri Cruise and fellow cast member Bailee Madison on the set of “Don’t Be Afraid of the Dark” in Melbourne. In the film, a young girl is sent to live with her father and his new girlfriend discovers creatures in her new home who want to claim her as one of their own. (via PCN)

Don’t be Afraid of the Dark is still on production, det for release 2011.

Image credit to PacificCoastNews.com.

Suri Cruise does an astonishing impersonation of a child of a regular married couple. If it weren’t for Katie bot being positioned next to her with a “loving” smile hardwired onto her face, there would be no evidence that this little angel were a mini Scilon.

She kind of looks like a frightened little mouse or some other tiny adorable animal. I mean, it boggles the mind that this baby is being reared by Tommy and the Bot and that in all likelihood she was created in a test tube using LRH’s sperm. That Ron Hubbard sure can grow him some cute kiddies. 

I bet Tommy is p*ssed that his peen being stuck in men’s no no places means that he cannot produce offspring of his own. I gather than a man’s no no places are not the best or most fertile ground for growing babies. When these two crazy kids were trying for a baby, rather than put his peen in Katie bot’s USB adaptor slot (or whatever she has instead a vagina), he stuck it in the warm and squishy crevices of a fellow peen-haver. 

Well, whomever the heck this kid belongs to she is the cutest pre-rehab celebrity kiddie on the block.

Tommy and his robot wife, Katie, have decided to send little Suri Cruise to a special Scientology school.

Suri, who for the time being at least resembles a human being and not a $cientolo-bot, will be attending the Church of Scientology’s New Village Academy. The baby is not yet as far gone as her robot mother, so perhaps there is hope for her yet.

Well, that is assuming the classes three to five days per week don’t take there hold. The school, as funded by Will Smith, is located in Calabasas, California. Its curriculum includes mathematics, literacy, Spanish, karate, yoga, robotics, technology, etiquette, art, and living skills.

For what end the little tyke will need to learn etiquette and living skills, the mind boggles. Surely, all you need to be a good future robot wife is a spare battery and a working remote control. Who needs anything that resembles a formal education, when you are going to be some future millionaire actor’s dead-eyed arm candy???

Image credits to Splash News.

Just when you thought their marriage could not get any creepier, the latest news  in the charade of a marriage that is TomKat is that Tom Cruise is making his robot wife confess her sins to him on a weekly basis.

Did I squeeze too much into one sentence again? Okay, let me break it down. Tommy is making his shrinking little robot wife tell him anything she may have done wrong in any given week; this is to ensure that, according to $cientology doctrine, the marriage stays ‘moral’.

Katie Holmes may be coming to the end of her Purification Rundown diet, but it seems she isn’t stopping there with her commitment to Scientology. The 30-year-old actress resolves problems with her husband Tom Cruise by making weekly written confessions, as laid out in the Scientology code.

‘Katie has to confess to something as minor as forgetting to tell him she has met with a friend,’ says a source.

‘If she commits a transgression against the moral code of their marriage, she has to tell Tom in writing, giving full details of the time and place and what happened.’

From what I gather from the Daily Fail snippet above, this is essentially tantamount to Tommy pulling a lever on her back, and robot-Katie printing out a little receipt with all her transgressions written in Ironic Sans on 80’s style printer paper with the little holes down both sides. (Katie is an old-fashioned robot and so can’t print on that fancy new-fangled printer paper!!!).

Image credit to Splash News