Learning nothing from his third divorce except when a Post-It on the refrigerator says you should ‘Call Jim about a deadbolt’ you damn well call Jim about a deadbolt, Tom Cruise said this of being the last to know Katie Holmes had escaped: ‘I did not expect that. [I've had] an incredible amount of time to reflect. Life is a challenge. To be 50 and have experiences and think you have everything under control, and then it hits you… that’s what life is… Life is tragicomic. You need a certain sense of humor.’
Katie Holmes jumped out of her marriage and into a Whole Foods in New York City July 2012 using burner phones. Because drug dealers, terrorists, and Holmes could all be killed at any minute if they used a contract phone. Holmes also quit Scientology by leaving it a Post-It Note on the nightstand because who likes the awkward morning after? And despite basically being unemployed but for her underwhelming fashion line, Holmes spent every day since July in Whole Foods, the park, the museum, or getting ice cream, because who’s going to assassinate a single mother who buys organic? Cruise has been working constantly but the times he remembered he has three kids, he fit them into his schedule. He went 90 days without seeing his Suri back in the fall and, if memory serves, this week’s visit makes maybe four visits total since summer (he saw her in July, he took her to Disneyland in August, he had visitation at Christmas, and his reps leaked to People.com that he visited with her this week in London for five days). According to a ‘source’ who’s really his rep: ‘Tom flew [Suri] in his private jet from New York to London and then brought her up to the Grove Hotel in Hertfordshire… they kept such a low profile that nobody really knew she was there… She spent five days with him. He has been working quite long hours on the set, but he was able to have some time off to be with her. They had a really lovely time.’
The last time Suri Cruise can remember being warm in January is in utero the winter of 2006. And now it’s 2013 and she is finally warm again in this season-appropriate clothing. Here are some photos from this weekend in which the holy child’s holy feet are touching the unholy ground of New York City.
Nicole Kidman covers DuJour Magazine inside of which she’s talking about her marriage to Tom Cruise because that’s a thing she’s doing now. Apparently not realising there is/ was a glorified Scientology dating service with an unending roster of women (according to a bunch of higher-ups who have since left), Kidman says she pulled the now-patented Taylor Swift Shocked Face when Cruise replaced her on a whim. Her interview is below with her photo shoot.
Katie Holmes is one of the New Yorkers displaced by Sandy although it’s slightly less sad when a multi-million dollar apartment in The Mercantile building in Chelsea loses its power for a few days but remains largely intact while a chunk of Staten Island is almost wiped off the map by the same storm. While waiting for the help to turn the power back on, Holmes and Suri Cruise have checked into the Mark Hotel on the Upper East Side. Neighbours who sound a little too passive-aggressive towards a six-year-old said of the building’s evacuation: ‘Suri and Katie stood it out as long as they could… The power abruptly went out around 8:30 P.M. Monday evening, leaving everyone sitting around torchlight or candle light. Most folks stayed in the building over night and most of the next day until the water went out, making it impossible to even flush the toilet. At that point everyone, including Katie and Suri, left… Suri might be used to helicopters and chauffeured cars, but once the storm hit we were all the same. They had to walk from the 12th floor, with no lights, like everyone else.’ And Holmes is back to work in the theater to which she brought her daughter because the help are probably still stuck in the flood afflicted areas and I suspect that, in the 91 days since Tom Cruise last saw his kid (during which time there was a f**king hurricane), he may have forgotten about her altogether. Included below are more photos of Holmes carrying her kid into rehearsals to Dead Accounts, previews for which begin Monday ahead of its 16-week run starting November 29.
In early October, someone who cared enough to count noted it had been 65 days since Tom Cruise physically visited Suri Cruise from whom he’s been separated while working in Europe. It’s now end of October and 85 days, I think, since he last saw his youngest daughter. And now he’s suing some tabloids for counting those numbers on their fingers and using their outside voices to call him out for spending more time at dinners and clubs with friends than he has with his daughter this year. Because counting things is LIES. And pointing out things is also LIES. He’s suing the Bauer Publishing Company’s Life & Style and In Touch Magazines for their covers proclaiming ‘Abandoned by Daddy’ and, the original, ‘Suri In Tears, Abandoned By Her Daddy.’ Cruise filed a $50 million defamation lawsuit, another $50 million suit (the third in a year, not including the threat to sue Vanity Fair, if memory serves). About which his lawyer Bert Fields says: ‘Tom doesn’t go around suing people. He’s not a litigious guy.’ Really? He’s not? Fields continues, explaining the money from the suit would go to charity: ‘Tom is a caring father who dearly loves Suri. She’s a vital part of his life and always will be. To say he has ‘abandoned’ her is a vicious lie. To say it in lurid headlines with a tearful picture of Suri is reprehensible. Tom doesn’t go around suing people. He’s not a litigious guy. But when these sleaze peddlers try to make money with disgusting lies about his relationship with his child, you bet he’s going to sue. These serial defamers are foreign owned companies with their global headquarters in Hamburg. They take money from unsuspecting Americans by selling their malicious garbage. Having to pay a libel judgment may slow them down.’