Tiger Woodsshould pick up a dictionary and learn the word transgressions. He seems to think the transgression definition means someone who rushes out oddly-worded press releases, instead of holding a press conference. The actual definition means someone who got caught failing by the media, and HARD.
The press release on Tiger Woods official website TigerWoods.com, offers the world’s longest, twisty-turniest, semi-apology. His ass still needs to get a B grade lawyer to fix his B grade cheating, so no one is really named. However, he says SOWWY for not knowing the Cheating Popo were so good at paying a buck fiddy a time to smoke out women who had slept with celebrities.
Read the press release from Tiger Woods official website TigerWoods.com by clicking on the picture, then clicking again in the gallery to read in full size.
Tiger Woods is in a lot of trouble. The professional golfer is an amateur cheater and he left enough of a bleached blonde paper trail to get caught. Crouching Tiger, hidden failure. I guess the husband and father isn’t that good at everything, as the shish hit the fan on his cheating big style today. At this point I would rather like to Fedex my brain away and have all the Woods references of the last week expunged, but his errant peen is all anyone can talk about.
I hope Woods took my advice from yesterday and started to stash away his fortune somewhere his wife won’t find it. He probably hid it in the first place he thought of, but stuffing his money in some girl’s panties for safe keeping is only going to mean Us Weekly or TMZ find the money and not his wife. He needs to hide it inside a Snuggie or under his hat or something. He better hope his wife doesn’t divorce him over this, as that man is going to be taken for everything he has… and as the new cover of Uspoints out… um, it’ll totally be his own fault.
Image credit to ICON/Fame Pictures. Story via the new cover for Us Weekly.
Jaimee Grubbs Tool Academy: Video of Jaimee Grubbs on VH1′s Tool Academy.
The second woman rumoured to have had an affair withTiger Woods can be seen above, on VH1′s Tool Academy. Jaimee Grubbs, 24-year-old waitress, needs to take a leaf out of Rachel Uchitel’s book and get herself a lawyer.
Grubbs is claiming to have had a 31-month affair with Woods, receiving over 300 text messages and a certain voicemail that she’s releasing tomorrow. She says the voicemail confirms Woods’ wife Elin Nordegren knows of their affair. This is probably going to be 30-seconds of growling and then the line going silent as Woods gets smacked round the back of his head by his wife.
Be sure to stay tuned tomorrow to see whether she is full of it, or whether the message released by Us sounds remotely real. I hope someone is stashing some of their future alimony in off-shore accounts and spending the rest on lawyers.
Video of Jaimee Grubbs Tool Academy above. Jaimee Grubbs pictures below.
Jaimee Grubbs is a second woman, claiming to have had an affair with Tiger Woods. Woods’ wife Elin Nordegren must be frothing at the mouth. This is the second woman in as many weeks, alleged to have had an affair with her husband.
Woods turned to the safety of the Webernets in order to release a statement about his car accident. Other than that he’s being rather evasive. Though most guys would avoid media attention, if it had been alleged they had the crap beaten out of them by their spouses for cheating. Unlike Rachel Uchitel, Grubbs says their affair was sexual. Whatever the weather, this is the second skinny blonde bish that claims to have gotten all up in this man’s grill. Uchitel is offering to take a lie-detector test and Grubbs says she has more than 300 texts and a voicemail from November 24 that Us is planning to release tomorrow.
If you recognise this girls’ brand of tacky, the 24-year-old waitress, claiming to have had a 31-month fling with Woods, appeared onVH1′s Tool Academy.
TheTiger Woods 911 call has been released. It was originally thought the call about the car accident came from his wife Elin Nordegren. However, that was not the case. The 911 call about the Woods car crash came from a neighbour.
The accident, which involved no alcohol/ hookers or anything else interesting, happened Friday morning. The call came from a male neighbour who asked for an ambulance. They believed Woods to be unconscious as he was laying down.
Click below for the link to the audio and more photos of his crashed SUV.
Tiger Woods’ mistress Rachel Uchitel, according to The National Enquirer.
Tiger Woods’ alleged mistress Rachel Uchitel is refusing to talk to the media. There’s only one person she’s sharing all her non home-wrecking secrets with, lawyer, Gloria Allred. The pair have been seen together over the last few days since Woods’ accident. The same accident Woods seems to think will go away if he closes his eyes, counts to ten and hides his busted SUV in the bushes.
Tiger Woods’ mistress, who isn’t his mistress, probably wishes she were his mistress. She would make more than a few bucks on whatever TV deals/ book deals she is brewing up. For the time being, she’s hiding in the loving robot arms of her lawyer and giving the media the cold shoulder.