Amy Grindhouse Rotating Header Image

Posts under ‘Taylor Swift’

Taylor Swift Doesn’t Squint in This Commercial

Jan 8th, 2011
by Amy Grindhouse.
4 comments

Taylor Swift is the spokesmodel for some brand of cosmetics I don’t really care about. A brand that has a new commercial starring the ex-girlfriend of Jake Gyllenhaal. I stumbled on this, and wasn’t going to post it… because, meh. But I LOLed IRL at watching Squints attempt to not squint for a whole 30 seconds.

Seriously. It’s poop-inducingly funny. The 21-year-old wears her hair in the same manner as always and sports her ever-present red lip (as though she and Christina Aguilera are competing with Gwen Stefani to see who can eat the most tubes before becoming sick). She also wears a dress in the commercial that looks like every blank canvas she wears on the red carpet. And then she starts flicking her hair, obscuring the product, perhaps thinking she’s in a shampoo commercial. It’s rather fun and 90% squint-free. Watch her commercial below.

(more…)

Taylor Swift and Jake Gyllenhaal Have Split Up

Jan 5th, 2011
by Amy Grindhouse.
No comments yet

The entirely staged, week’s long relationship between Jake Gyllenhaal and Taylor Swift is over. The couple who were barely a couple, unless wearing matching sweaters/ getting coffee/staging photo-ops counts, lasted maybe two months.

News of the break-up has not been confirmed by spokespeople from either of the couple. Instead, it’s a source’s account from People magazine. Take this with a pinch of salt, until there’s some form of statement from the love that was Gyllensquints/ Taypoo. ‘They’re over,’ a source says. ‘It ended last month.’ I’m believing this, as they’ve not coordinated outfits in WEEKS now. According to People, Gyllensquints spent the holidays and their birthdays apart, ‘Swift, 21, rang in 2011 in Nashville, solo, at a party, while Gyllenhaal, 30, was in New York.’ The pair were last seen together in public December 9 in Los Angeles.

(more…)

Taylor Swift Used a Sharpie Instead of Eyeliner

Dec 9th, 2010
by Amy Grindhouse.
No comments yet

Taylor Swift is also ridiculous and once used pen to line her eyes, when she was stuck without proper make-up. So, she’s basically Hamburglar Momsen now. Some one who also uses Sharpie in lieu of liquid liner; except, Momsen does it out of choice and liberally applies the felt pen all over her forehead and cheeks when she’s spicing up her look for an extra druggy night out (cocaine use requires at least three coats of boot polish, and a heavy layer of Sharpie, to add a touch of class… at least, that’s what my dealer told me). Speaking this week to Daily Makeover, Swift admitted that she once had to make do with pen. ‘I was on a plane to Japan about two years ago and I had no makeup with me, so I went into the bathroom and I used a Sharpie to line my eyes. From that point on I started using liquid liner because I realized it was obviously pretty easy for me to do.’ This is the same admission she made on Twitter in February this year, along with a photo of the result (above, also from Feb.). She adds, wisely, ‘I definitely don’t recommend drawing on your eyes with a Sharpie though.’ Yeah, like I said, it alone isn’t enough to ensure safe coke use. You’ve got to layer that s**t, man.

LINKS FROM AROUND THE WEB
 

Taylor Swift EW Entertainer of the Year Cover

Dec 2nd, 2010
by Amy Grindhouse.
1 comment

Taylor Swift covers EW as ‘Entertainer of The Year’. I’ll blithely assume it’s associated to her year’s coverage and records sold, as I don’t even care enough about her career to more closely read her bio. Sleeping with Jake Gyllenhaal and being under the influence of his magical penis is probably helping. Ok, I’m ignoring the millions of albums sold and I’m going to say it’s her newly-found relationship that’s scored her the cover. In fact, I’m amazed they don’t reference Gyllensquints or Jakey Poo’s penis somewhere on the cover. Better yet, rather than this weird picture of Squints v2.0 wearing a suit and top hat, it would have been better to just put Poo’s junk. And instead of ’2010: Entertainers of the Year’, have ’2010: Magical Penis of the Year’. Jouranlism’s fun, children.

(more…)

Jake Gyllenhaal & Taylor Swift Us Weekly Cover

Dec 1st, 2010
by Amy Grindhouse.
5 comments

Jake Gyllenhaal and Taylor Swift cover the latest issue of Us Weekly magazine; they’re shown together, with giant Squints holding my poor Jakey Poo in a headlock. Or something. I’m pretty sure some one’s attacking some one in this photo. Poo’s mouth may be smiling, but his eyes are yelling ‘HALP MEH!’ Squints eyes, incidentally, say nothing. Because she’s squinting. Again. Had I not seen two grainy photos of the two sharing coffee, the only thing they do in public together, and one of them hanging with friend, I’d be pretty adamant this is fake. It’s weird. There’s no real reason for me to call shenanigans on this image, other than something around their necklines that screams MS Paint. But, yeah, with the headlock thing… I’ll assume this is real and the first image of the couple touching. Oh, and people are already trying to come up with cute smooshed names… I’m going with ‘Gyllensquints’. Or, maybe ‘Taypoo’. Any others?

Image credit to INF Daily.

Taylor Swift and Jake Gyllenhaal in Nashville

Nov 29th, 2010
by Amy Grindhouse.
1 comment

Taylor Swift and Jake Gyllenhaal, rumoured to be dating, are shown above. As we all know, any two people standing next to each other are obviously having sex; so, let’s just excitedly take this and run with it. According to People, Swift and Gyllehnaal spent Thanksgiving together in the 20-year-old singer’s hometown of Nashville. On Saturday afternoon, the couple were spotted getting a late breakfast at Fido, a coffeehouse and café near Vanderbilt University and Music Row. Emma Rice, who took the photo of the pair, called the unconfirmed couple ‘cute’ and noted ‘they seemed close.’ As close as any 20 and 29-year-old who look like brother and sister, wearing sweaters in the same shade of funeral grey.

Page 3 of 8« First234Last »