I’m kidding, of course, but this is something I wanted to post because it’s cute as a button. Or a completely and utterly terrifying vision of the baby-faced apocalypse that comes complete with an Alice band and faces absorbed through the fingertips like in the 80s version of The Thing. These are pictures of Reese Witherspoon and her family doing what they do every Sunday, it would appear (which is nice). Witherspoon and fiance Jim Toth were photographed leaving church with her children Ava and Deacon Phillippe in Santa Monica, CA yesterday morning. There have been photos like the above before. And I’m not the only one to notice (TMZ TV did a ‘Guess Who’, holding up a picture of Ava asking who she was and everyone said ‘Reese Witherspoon’). Before the Honey Wheat Blonde End of Days befalls us, and the clones overthrow us all, look on your 11-year-old master with terror. But never look the child in the eyes. NEVER IN THE EYES.
Posts under ‘Reese Witherspoon’
There was a picture of a ring, which looked like the one given to Reese Witherspoon, posted earlier. At the time, there were no paparazzi photos of Witherspoon wearing her diamond engagement ring. I’d been on the lookout, and she had been photographed out and about, but she wore gloves or had her hands in her pockets. Witherspoon has shown off her ring for the first time since becoming engaged to Jim Toth (whose name I still misread, and have to try hard not to typo, as ‘Tooth’). These were taken as she waited outside of the Giorgio Armani store in Beverly Hills, CA yesterday. They confirmed their engagement, last week, after a year of dating. He will become stepfather to her two children.
Reese Witherspoon and Jim Toth were one of over half-a-dozen couples to become engaged over the holidays. I’m pretty sure they were sitting in a big circle, in the same house, BBMing and Twitter-fapping, coordinating their announcements. Witherspoon’s too dignified to fap, so she probably just watched the others do the hard work. Whatever. This means there’ll be no shortage of wedding magazine covers and exclusive spreads in People/ US/ Lies&Style and wherever. The engagement rings of LeAnn Rimes and Crystal Harris have already been revealed. There’s no paparazzi photo of Witherspoon’s ring that I can find. However, there’s an image floating around of a ring that’s pretty close to hers. Fiance Jim Toth (whose name I keep misreading as ‘Tooth’), 40, gave his 34-year-old wife-to-be a 4-carat Ashoka-cut diamond set on a diamond-and-pavé-adorned platinum band. The ring was custom-designed with Toth’s input by jeweller William Goldberg. Its estimated value is $150,000.
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For crying out loud. In what I’m pretty sure is the sixth engagement since Christmas Eve (if we’re ignoring the engagement rumours from the UK about Lily Allen which the singer herself is yet to confirm or deny, which came hours before and would make this announcement seventh), Reese Witherspoon confirms she’s going to re-marry. The 34-year-old actress is engaged to 40-year-old agent, Jim Toth, who’ll become stepfather to her two children; Ava, 11 and Deacon, 7, with ex-husband Ryan Phillippe, whom she divorced in 2008 after seven years together. Toth works as an agent at L.A.’s Creative Artists Agency; Witherspoon is a CAA client, but Toth doesn’t represent her. Witherspoon’s spokesperson confirms the news to several agencies, who in turn excitedly declare the same as an ‘exclusive’, adding ‘[The couple] are extremely happy.’ The couple began dating January 2010 and they went public during a birthday weekend in Ojai, CA.
Reese Witherspoon covers this week’s issue of Entertainment Weekly. For her EW cover, the 34-year-old endures further questions about the breakdown of her marriage to Ryan Phillipe, with whom she has two children, 11 year old Ava and seven year old Deacon, and her attitude towards divorce. Thankfully, whomever is doing this interview seems to sober up halfway through and thinks of some more interesting questions. So, we also learn how she feels about her break from acting, wedding rumours, robots, yes, really, and whether she Googles herself (I’m Googling myself right now, you might like to know… look, no hands).
Trufax: 2011 will begin with Reese Witherspoon being set upon by spontaneously-urinating Twihards. Witherspoon spoke to USA Today about her upcoming film, Water For Elephants. She also lovingly whispered the sacred name of Robert Pattinson; a name only to be spoken when in the sweaty throws of group masturbation, to one’s pre-used Pattinson-shaped pillow from eBay (removing one’s Twilight-theme shower curtains and using one’s creativity to turn that into a mastrurbatory aid is also acceptable). Shortly before going missing (or not, whatever), Witherspoon said,’ ‘I’m not gonna lie. He’s a very, very handsome man.’ Adding, ‘He’s sweet and loving and has the nicest family. Kristen [Stewart] is really sweet, too. He’s a very sensitive soul. He worked really hard. He looks great in the movie, too.’ Witherspoon is shown on the set in July.