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Posts under ‘Olivia Wilde’

Olivia Wilde & Jason Sudeikis Confirm They’re Engaged

Apparently, this engagement was reported last month while I was (successfully) drinking until it stopped hurting. Because this is news to me. RadarOnline.com is incredulous at being overlooked as the original source of the news a month ago, as People.com claims the ‘exclusive confirmation’ this weekend that Olivia Wilde is engaged to Jason Sudeikis. RadarOnline reports its sources know the couple has been ‘secretly engaged [since December] and had already booked a wedding venue in the Saturday Night Live funnyman’s hometown of Kansas City.’ People Magazine’s sources add: ‘They are so excited. And very, very happy.’ A spokesperson for Wilde confirms to Us Weekly. A source for Us Weekly confirms the couple got engaged mid-December, adding: ‘He finally found the one that made him want to commit. They’ve both been through it before and this has just felt right from the get go. Everyone is happy for them.’ And Wilde herself confirms on Twitter, writing: ‘Thanks for all the sweet congratulatory love, friends! And may I compliment your savvy use of that nifty engagement ring emoticon.’

Olivia Wilde Can Finally Stop ‘Lying To Her Vagina’ Since She Found The ‘Love of Her Life’

Olivia Wilde’s performance artist vagina can stop monologuing about how her ex-husband sucked in bed. Because she’s found the love of her life, as she declared on Twitter. A few months ago, she gave a talk about her sex life in front of journalists only to learn that sometimes journalists type words on the Internet after they hear those words. But she’s probably moved on enough to cut that out because she’s making declarative statements about her current boyfriend on Twitter. The 28-year-old actress said of 37-year-old Jason Sudeikis performing in the What Up With That? skit on Saturday Night Live: ‘Nothing puts a smile on my face like the love of my life dancing in a track suit and curly wig,’ she wrote.

Olivia Wilde’s Vagina Is A Performance Artist, You Guys

Yesterday, Olivia Wilde’s vagina gave the greatest monologue ever. That I was pretty careful to keep intact, in full, and in the context of it being a women’s event. But the comments were still spectacular. If you haven’t read them yet, please do. In short, out of context, she was throwing her ex-husband’s penis under the bus. In context, she’s expressing abstract thoughts on sexuality and what makes a marriage. Seeming to suggest that pubs should be safe spaces, Wilde wrote on Twitter: ‘The ‘These Girls’ monologues at Joe’s Pub were not meant for publication, and, in context, were a celebration of LOVE, girls, and honesty.’ She continued: ‘Sneaky recorders are everywhere these days, but performance art doesn’t always translate accurately to tabloid interpretation.’

Olivia Wilde Quit Her Ex-Husband Because She ‘Couldn’t Lie To Her Vagina’ Anymore. Really.

I feel the need to point out these words come from Olivia Wilde’s vagina to your ears because this is barely a paraphrase of the reason Wilde quit her Italian prince ex-husband Tao Ruspoli. Speaking to Vulture about what went wrong in her marriage, she replied: ‘I felt like my vagina died. Turned off. Lights out. You can lie to your relatives at Christmas dinner and tell them everything on the home front is just peachy. But you cannot lie to your vagina.’ Giving a monologue at an event hosted by Glamour, in front of an audience that included her current boyfriend, Jason Sudeikis, Wilde admitted she considered ‘a soft kind of lesbian relationship, just gentle kissing and scissoring’ while newly-single because she was so lonely and bored of the ‘man-eating sex bender’ that followed her divorce. But it’s okay because Sudeikis, with whom the 28-year-old is ‘blissfully, hopefully, wildly in love,’ speaks fluent vagina. So he’s been asking it how its day is, how crunchy it likes its Corn Flakes; the little things. To which Ruspoli stopped paying attention. And it’s working because she and Sudeikis ‘have sex like Kenyan marathon runners.’ And there’s more. Oh, GOD. GOD! There’s MORE. ’Sometimes your vagina dies,’ she continued. ‘Then you know it’s time to go. There’s no reason to sacrifice your womanhood and femininity for some sort of weird feeling of responsibility to something that may not be right. I feel like far too many women do that. [Men] are not allowed to be the only ones thinking with their genitals. We think with our p**sies.’ Photos below of Wilde attending the Butter premiere in New York back in September.

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Olivia Wilde: I Shouldn’t Have Married Age 19

Olivia Wilde eloped to marry an Italian prince on an abandoned school bus in the middle of nowhere at age 19 when he was 27. Which would not portend a healthy relationship unless they were both Disney characters. So here she is explaining why her marriage was doomed: ’I really had a sense that I had stunted my growth [by getting marriage at age 19]. I think that’s one of the things that made me feel so uncomfortable in my marriage. It was really no fault of my husband. It was me realizing that I had sort of arrested development. I knew the only way I was going to grow the f**k up was to learn to take care of myself. You go through this incredible roller coaster with your self-preservation; initially, you do whatever it takes to survive. I went through this period of being so high on having finally made this leap that I was almost in a manic phase. I lost a bunch of weight and I was never sleeping. Eventually, like everything does, it slows down.’

Olivia Wilde Should Probably Quit Smoking

As mentioned before, Olivia Wilde stars on a double-issue of British GQ April 2012. And her interview has finally been released and it’s more of what you’d expect. A roundabout way of explaining why she eloped at 18-years-old and married on an abandoned school bus. ‘I was very sexually mature at a very young age,’ she told the magazine. ‘I was very comfortable with it and talking about it, and once someone hears a young woman speak candidly about sexuality, it’s like, ‘Whoa!’ You get labelled.’ She talks about her Italian prince ex-husband in the excerpts below because it’s more interesting than slumming with Jason Sudekis.

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