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Posts under ‘NSFW’

Jennifer Lopez Sex Tape Doesn’t Contain Sex

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Jennifer Lopez’s ex-husband Ojani Noa can’t stop talking about their sex tape.

Ojani Noa insists the former couple’s sex tape doesn’t contain actual sex. Nope, none. However, he says it does contain some spanking. Spanking isn’t remotely sexual. It’s about as sexual as a drunken midget stripping on a live stream for five hours. Jennifer Lopez must have been thrilled that had been made clear.

“They think I have a sex tape with her and that I’m trying to sell it,” Noa says in an exclusive interview with E! News. “My tape is from our honeymoon, the wedding, us hanging out. There’s no nudity—maybe one spanking. “There’s moments of her fighting with her mom…couples having fun and kissing. If someone has a sex tape, it’s not me.” (via E! Online)

Image credit to SMTMN/ Flynet Pictures. Story & info. E! Online.

Tila Tequila Sex Tape Stolen and She’s Suing

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Tila Tequila had some kind of cotton candy-fuelled episode last week, where she went on a live stream and stripped to her bare ass for a thousand fans.

Despite creating a video herself, with more material than any adult video distributor could shake a stick at, Tila Tequila is to sue so that people don’t get to see her naked again. Hang on, lemme try to re-phrase that. Tila Tequila is threatening a lawsuit over a sex tape, which was taken from a stolen laptop.

The reality star/ amateur pornographer is threatening a lawsuit over a video on a porn site, showing her in a sexual position with some dude. The laptop was stolen more than two years ago and she claims not to know why the clip has been posted now. Just a thought, but exposed chesticles can make the mind wander. Guess that strip tease and exposed tampon string didn’t quite hit the spot.

Image credit to More1/ Flynet Pictures. Story & info. TMZ, Huffington Post.

Tila Tequila Breakdown in Naked UStream Video

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Tila Tequila had a really, really bad morning. Her day started as anyone else’s would, cursing the sky and social networking. Then she kind of seemed to have gone crazy and had a naked meltdown on her UStream channel.

The already infamous Tila Tequila Ustream video was broadcast live. The reality star took all her clothes off and was totally naked in front of her fans. The nude video also showed her ranting about her ex-boyfriend Shawne Merriman’s alleged drug use and sexual habits. So, her day ended up 75% worse and 100% more naked than it would usually. Both of which blows balls for those of us who were getting our beauty sleep and missed the whole insane thing.

Carmen Electra Lesbian Sex Tape Leaked Online

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Carmen Electra is number #34,028 or something to have a sex video leaked. The bored porno-peddlers of the world only make seedy offers to buy a handful of sex tapes at a time. At the moment they’re having to content with sex tapes from Shauna Sand, Carrie Prejean, and an alleged tape from Jennifer Lopez.

It’s as if sex videos can help a woman’s career anymore. I wish these women would wake up and realise it’s not 1999 and that no one is shocked by this.

The footage is said to show Carmen Electra in her smalls and playing up to the cameraman. It’s being labelled as a tacky publicity stunt for some crap she’s promoting. We need to start just lining them up and getting these videos shot by Michael Bay or something. Then at least we could be entertained by Bay’s notorious BOOM BOOMS in the middle of people faking their orgasms.

A further bikini photo and one of her NSFW stills under the cut.

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Miss Universe Threesome Sex Tape Was Leaked

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Another day, another sex tape with previously unknown faces. I wish these bishes would conduct their acts of sexual deviance in a more orderly fashion, so some of us wouldn’t be buried up to our asses in sex tape posts on any given day.

The latest tape to leak is a threesome sex tape, featuring Anya Ayoung-Chee Miss Universe Trinidad and Tobago 2008, her boyfriend, and another unknown female. At first people were thinking Hiroko Mima Miss Universe Japan 2008 was one of the other women in the video, but Ayoung-Chee’s boyfriend, Wyatt Gallery, has denied that it’s Miss Japan in the tape. So, there you have it. Make sure you’re sitting comfortably as there’ll probably be another tape, leaking like one of Amy Winehouse’s back-alley implants, by tomorrow.

Image credit Celebridoodle. Story Celebridoodle, Spike, Associated Content.

Playboy Releases its Dueling December Covers

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Playboy is hedging its bets for its December 2009 issues.

Not content with one scantily-clad cover, Playboy went and created a second just to confuse the poor darlings who best consume their NSFW repast one meal at a time. Their average reader can probably not count that high, but Playboy has two covers for  their new issue. One stars Chelsea Lately star Chelsea Handler, the other swimsuit model/Dancing with the Stars contestant Joanna Krupa.

Some one’s going to end up feeling short-changed as Krupa gets her naked on, while Handler keeps her assets covered in a bikini. It’s a wonder that anyone buys this or views it online, but apparently they do and they do so on purpose. I’m left wondering which of the two my ADHD-laden readers may favour…