Eva Mendes’ ‘sex tape’, that’s not a sex tape, but a tape about… um some tape.
Okay, two things. First: I’m dumb as a box of hair, as it took me way too long to get the joke with the video above. Second: I know I’m, like, a day late to the party… the lights are off and there’s not even any more chips and dip left (except some stale chips and white goop that may or may not be dip). But, I’m here and I’m drunk and so I feel like posting this video anyway. Here is the Eva Mendes (not) sex tape, that’s great for use ‘on untreated naked wood’ or ‘in the dark, in her bedroom, with two dudes, for at least 20 minutes’. Hat tip to The Superficial for being conscious when this video was released. Kudos, my friend. Kudos.





