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Posts under ‘NSFW’

Eva Mendes’ Tape About Eva Mendes’ Sex Tape


Eva Mendes’ ‘sex tape’, that’s not a sex tape, but a tape about… um some tape.

Okay, two things. First: I’m dumb as a box of hair, as it took me way too long to get the joke with the video above. Second: I know I’m, like, a day late to the party… the lights are off and there’s not even any more chips and dip left (except some stale chips and white goop that may or may not be dip). But, I’m here and I’m drunk and so I feel like posting this video anyway. Here is the Eva Mendes (not) sex tape, that’s great for use ‘on untreated naked wood’ or ‘in the dark, in her bedroom, with two dudes, for at least 20 minutes’. Hat tip to The Superficial for being conscious when this video was released. Kudos, my friend. Kudos.

Lindsay Lohan Maxim Cover September 2010

Lindsay Lohan was going through magazine photo shoots like ‘aspirin’, pre-jail. We’ve already seen her doing cover shoots for GQ Germany, Complex, and she’s planning another for Vanity Fair (post-rehab). Here’s a pre-jail cover that the 24-year-old actress shot for Maxim magazine’s September 2010 issue. There’s a cover, as seen above, and another picture released, below. Also below are snippets from her pre-jail interview about how ‘this too shall pass’. Idiot.

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Katy Perry Rolling Stone August 2010 Photos

Katy Perry’s Rolling Stone August 2010 cover was released yesterday, as were one or two quotes taken from her interview preview. Today, we get the rest of the pictures from her underwear-clad Mark Seliger photo shoot as well as more of her interview. The whole thing’s one big trigger with her posing topless for the shoot and discussing her strict religious upbringing and her family’s views on religion. She also talks about less trigger-worthy topics like celebrities Googling themselves and setting up Google Alerts on her own name, as well as denying the obviously fake comments about Miley Cyrus (that I didn’t bother commenting on… and I’m amazed anyone else did. Must have been a slow news day).

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Lindsay Lohan’s Jail Term Made into Adult Film

Ever wanted to fap to scenes of a dozen women wearing prison stripes and yelling ‘Fire crotch’ at a twenty-something whose parents failed her/ bore only a passing resemblance to (a younger) Lindsay Lohan? No? Me either. But, apparently the bright sparks at Hustler Video are making a Lohan jail movie anyway. It was bound to happen, as Lord knows there’s a chronic shortage of celebrity-related adult material. Oh, wait, there’s not… making the latest celebrity spoof adult movie another annoying, pointless, money-grab. Whatever, Hustler’s Untrue Hollywood Stories: Lindsay Goes to Jail is set to be released on DVD this month.

Hugh Hefner Confirms Women ARE Sex Objects

I’m sure you’ll all be thrilled to know that any ambiguity around women’s sex object status has been cleared up. According to woman-pimping porn-pedaling octogenarian Hugh Hefner, who spoke to NY Daily News about his new documentary entitled Hugh Hefner: Playboy, Activist and Rebel, women are sex objects. He also discusses his love of different women’s hair colours, whether sex changes as one gets older, and how he helped to legalise extramarital sex.

  • On people who say he objectifies women: “The notion that Playboy turns women into sex objects is ridiculous. Women are sex objects. If women weren’t sex objects, there wouldn’t be another generation. It’s the attraction between the sexes that makes the world go ’round. That’s why women wear lipstick and short skirts.”
  • On whether sex changes with age: “Well, not particularly. Thank goodness for the arrival of Viagra. It breaks down that wall. But I think you gain some experience over the years and that helps. Woody Allen said, ‘If you don’t think that sex is dirty, you’re not doing it right.’”
  • On his love of blondes: “No, my first wife was a brunette and Barbi Benton, my major romantic relationship of the early 1970s, was a brunette. But since the end of my marriage, all of my girlfriends have been blonds. I have made the comment that Picasso went through his pink period and his blue period before he arrived at his abstract period. I am in my blond period.”

Image credit to Fame Pictures. NY Daily News quotes via The HuffPo.

JWoww Don’t Need No Steenkin’ Belly Button

There was talk after people saw Lindsay Lohan in GQ Germany about the actress’s belly button going to jail days before the star herself. The area of her stomach is notably missing in one of her photos and it moves up and down her stomach in others. The one in which it’s missing, the cover, drew the most anti-Photoshop ire. Perhaps it’s warming her bed in jail, or keeping JWoww’s belly button company. I only mention that the two buttons may be chilling together as it seems the Jersey Shore reality star, real name Jenni Farley, who poses in a shoot for Maxim magazine August 2010 (behind-the-scenes video below), is missing her belly button too. I suspect the two buttons have absconded to somewhere Photoshop can’t get them. In the top picture, JWoww’s belly botton is gone. It returns in the second photo. Odd. What do you think?

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