The same evening as Lindsay Lohan turned up to her scheduled interview on David Letterman, which IS news, Maxim Magazine released its May 2013 cover which was apparently shot on the ocean front right outside Uncle Terry’s Boom Boom Room. Which can only mean the producers of Scary Movie 5 are withholding actual food and water because I don’t even know how they’re pulling off any kind of promotional effort that involves Lohan in particular.
Christopher Chaney has been given a 10-year prison sentence for hacking Scarlett Johansson, Mila Kunis, Christina Aguilera and a bunch of randoms who basically set their passwords to ‘pa22w0rd’ and emailed whomever they were seeing at the time photos of their boobs. Earlier this year, Chaney pled guilty to nine felonies including theft and wiretapping. Prosecutors sought six-years prison time for the gift that keeps on giving but the judge increased it to 10 years for the ‘callous disregard’ of the women’s privacy. Although either term is reduced from the 121 years he originally faced if found guilty on all counts of hacking 50 victims. ‘It’s hard to fathom the mindset of a person who would accomplish all of this,’ said the judge. ‘These types of crimes are as pernicious and serious as physical stalking.’
Earlier today, a bunch of people excitedly noted that Justin Bieber’s ‘personal footage was stolen.’ Apparently hoping that meant he’d been dumb enough to make sex tapes with girlfriend Selena Gomez. Except, a few hours later, an uncensored photo of some random dude’s wang with Bieber’ ‘tattoo’ probably drawn in eyeliner went viral and now it seems more likely the stolen photo and video was of Bieber’s junk. He said of the thefts on Twitter: ‘sucks when u take personal footage and people dont respect your privacy… yesterday during the show me and my tour manager josh had some stuff stolen. really sucks. people should respect other’s property… i had a lot of personal footage on that computer and camera and that is what bothers me the most. #lame #norespect.’ And after the nude photo leaked, his sources told TMZ.com it’s not even him in the photo (I have the photo but I can’t even link that s**t, it’s not him anyway). For his sake, let’s hope he wasn’t enough of a moron to make sex tapes or take nudes of himself OR of Selena Gomez.
Below are photos of Justin Bieber spending time with fans in London recently.
Here’s Miley Cyrus at Whole Foods where she’s braless but pretending it’s not a big deal. Even though she had the wherewithal to tie up her ‘Anarchy In The U.K.’ muscle tee so her boobs wouldn’t flop out of the side again. Probably making the point that Liam Hemsworth knows she dresses like that but he doesn’t really care so long as he gets to see her even more naked than this, Cyrus wore the shirt with a mini skirt because she heard the vapours from organic peaches are really great for yeast infections which is why she’s also probably commando again.
Kate Upton covers GQ Magazine July 2012. For which Terry Richardson, of course, took a bunch of porny topless photos, and photos of Upton fellating a Popsicle in ways that will give you a patriotic boner. While being violated by Uncle Terry’s patent-pending Molester Lens, Upton regales the magazine with anecdotes about how her breasts are party animals who got her kicked off the Santa Monica Pier. She tells the magazine: ‘For the GQ photo shoot, we were on that ride where the seat spins while the actual ride is spinning, and I’m wearing a one-piece. And all of a sudden the whole entire top falls off! I’m holding myself, laughing, turning bright red, but a lot of people are watching, so they kicked us out of the Santa Monica Pier. It was so embarrassing. You wouldn’t think that would happen with a one-piece!’ Interview and photo shoot below.
Miley Cyrus shared a photo of that handcuff bracelet. Which looked enough like a tutorial on cutting it distracted people from the harbinger of nudity. Her response to the misdirected histrionics was deleting the braless photo from Instagram and instead uploading another photo of herself spilling out of a corset.
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