Snooki’s delivery was filmed by MTV cameras while she wore full hair and makeup because of course. The same cameras escorted her out of hospital where paparazzi were able to get the first photos of her baby, ahead of Snooki selling her own photos to the tabloids (probably to ITW or Us Weekly to whom she shilled the pregnancy itself). And she’s been talking about her kid on Twitter since only a couple of hours after the birth: ‘All the pain and anxiety is so worth it!!! #BreastPump insteada #FistPump… Lorenzo is even cuter today…. I love nursing my little man!’ the latter because that’s somehow anyone’s business. Then she shared the first photo of her baby’s nursery to Instagram with the caption ‘My world,’ only to delete it right after.
Posts under ‘Nicole Polizzi’
Snooki also gave birth to a baby boy this weekend. The reality star released the baby’s name to In Touch Weekly Magazine months ago, without the middle name, but the child’s full name is Lorenzo Dominic LaValle. This is the baby drunkenly conceived at New Year’s to whom Snooki gave birth right after telling the same tabloid she’s afraid she’ll be a bad mother: ‘I’m nervous that I’m not going to be a good mom,’ she tells ITW. ‘I just really hope I know what I’m doing! At the Shore you’re going to hook up, get into a fight or go to jail. You only have three options. But being pregnant you have no idea what’s going on!’ Then she said this, because learning is hard, ‘Lamaze is bulls**t. They teach you how to breathe. Are you really going to be worrying about how to breathe when you’re having a baby? No! You’re going to be screaming and throwing s**t.’
She went on Twitter right after giving birth to express the joys of parenting for a whole day, since drunkenly forgetting to use a condom is something you’re supposed to celebrate nine months later. ‘I am SO IN LOVE with my son Lorenzo Dominic ! I had my little man last night, healthy at 6lbs! HE’S MY WORLD! ❤’ she wrote, ‘Being a mom is an amazing feeling!!! I love my little man to death! Jionni is such a cute dad. @JLaValle… Thank you all for your love and support!! Lorenzo loves you guys already!’ A Polizzi rep released this statement, in all seriousness: ‘The world just got another Guido!!! Nicole, Jionni & Enzo are doing great!’ And MTV released a statement: ‘We couldn’t be happier for Nicole and Jionni on the healthy delivery of their baby boy! We look forward to Lorenzo’s first trip to the Jersey Shore and can’t wait to see his first animal print onesie.’
Here’s the Jersey Shore cast pretending to be sad about wrapping the final episode in the current format since the show is being re-tooled next season. Except what they’re really sad about is saying goodbye to being paid to stage fight scenes at the behest of producers and putting booze babies in each other. 15 photos below of the cast including JWoww and her latest face and Snooki whose baby I’ll avoid making further Foetal Alcohol Syndrome jokes about or I’ll feel bad when it’s born.
- KHLOE K LOSING TOO MUCH WEIGHT? - Fishwrapper
- Jennifer Aniston Needs To Wear Bras - Lainey Gossip
- Eva Longoria Accidentally Flashed Her Goods - TooFab
- Jennifer Aniston Strips: Shocking Video - Fishwrapper
- Miley Cyrus Is Posing Almost Naked - Hollywood PQ
- KIM K CRYING OVER PREGNANCY!!! - TooFab
- Truth About Cheating Kristen Stewart - Lainey Gossip
- Amanda Bynes: Where Did It Go Wrong? - TooFab
There’s a bunch of baby news that I’m lumping together because The Babies is contagious, clearly, and I don’t want anyone else being struck down. Firstly, there’s a new report today that Megan Fox is expecting a baby girl. Which I overlooked, until I saw today’s photos of her possible bump. There’s something Precious in there, and there’s a 50/50 chance it’s a girl. So, sure, why not? In other Precious One news, Gisele Bundchen will become insufferable again during her second pregnancy. And, finally, I guess ITW outbid the other rags, because they’ve landed a Snooki exclusive about the sex of her baby. She’s expecting a boy whom she’ll name either Jionni LaValle Jr. or Lorenzo LaValle. Snooki is due in September, around the same time as Fox (so they’re both carrying tiny).
Snooki denies fat-shaming Jessica Simpson, during an interview with Us Weekly. Appearing to join in with the mommy weight-shaming and conjecture about Simpson’s pregnancy, Snooki made several comments about not eating ‘fattening’ foods and being ‘so skinny’ she hadn’t even bought any maternity clothing yet. But the Jersey Shore star denies malice behind the ‘I would die if I were [Jessica's] size,’ comment. The 24-year-old posted on Twitter: ‘I NEVER dissed Jessica Simpson you weirdo tabloids , get over it with your pregnant war articles. I love the girl and her hot ass bump.’ So… Snooki isn’t actually denying the whole interview, nor is she denying the fat-shaming. Just the intent behind it. She said it. I guess. She just didn’t mean to sound judgmental about it.
Snooki is still promoting the spin-off that’s really footage of her drying out (rehab would have been cheaper than a baby). The 24-year-old recently spoke to Us Weekly, and began mommy fat-shaming that will certainly anger GOOP: ’I'm so skinny that I can wear larges or extra larges. I only just bumped up to a medium. I’m five months and you can’t really see anything. It’s gonna pop up in like a week. I would die if I were [Jessica's] size. She’s like 45 months pregnant right now! [Jessica] said she indulged in everything that she wanted. I’m trying to eat healthy; fruits, lots of jelly and Italian ices. Nothing fattening at all.’
Photo of Snooki from March 21. Simpson hasn’t been seen in weeks. In related news, stars are wondering on Twitter when Simpson will deliver. Even though she’s not due until roughly May 1. Katy Perry tweeted: ’Has Jessica Simpson had that baby yet?! I’m getting anxious.’ Chelsea Handler tweeted soon after: ‘How has jessica simpson still not given birth to this baby? I’m getting frightened.’