Posts under ‘Movie’

Justin Timberlake and the leading The Social Network cast members walked the Academy Awards red carpet. I kind of feel he should have stayed at home waxing his chest (or however he spends his evenings, I’m not judging). The other guys kind of deserved to be there and he didn’t. The movie’s standouts Jessie Eisenberg, Andrew Garfield, Armie Hammer (and his wife) are shown below. Not because I don’t care. But because they didn’t release Rock Your Body. Anyone who hasn’t released social divide-crossing pop is pretty much doomed to remain under the fold whether or not they act their mediocre co-stars off the screen.

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Hilary Swank walked the red carpet at Sunday’s Academy Awards 2011 dressed as a silver swan. Not a black one, because she wasn’t in the movie. She looks nice. Although she always looks like a really thin/ pretty guy in a dress because Boys Don’t Cry got me all screwed up. She got the sequins memo. And shredded it. And attached some more beads, for that extra bling, so she’d have one of the night’s finest ‘My cat ripped my dress’ trains. She was one of the few women who wore a strapless dress on the red carpet. The other notable exception to the ‘I DON’T WANT NOBODY LOOKIN’ AT MY CLAVICLE’ rule was Anne Hathaway.

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Helena Bonham Carter walked the Oscars 2011 red carpet looking like an escaped mental patient. And I love her for it. More to the point, she and Tim Burton look like a pair of well-dressed escaped mental patients from the year 1876. That said, Carter’s glasses would have passed for stylish in 1993. Carter can be seen in some of the pictures below hoisting up her dress to reveal a flag stuck to her leg. But, don’t fret, she’s no longer using private body parts as accessories (as in, she’s not wearing her own labia as some kind of hipster ‘must have,’ after joking about how her breasts were accessories after this year’s Golden Globes).

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Amy Adams attended the 83rd annual Academy Awards because alliteration is fun. She also attended because sequins are fun too/ she was one of 100 people to get the ‘SEEEEQUINS’ memo. Wearing a dress up to her neck because it’s cold in Los Angles after nap time, Adams is covering her entire clavicle. Which leads me to think beads and necklaces are a great way to keep from freezing. All of which kind of makes me want to ask Cate Blanchett for those anal beads back.

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Michelle Williams walked the red carpet at the 83rd annual Oscars. The actress spent most of the year trying to make sure more than three people got to see the explicit Blue Valentine, for which she was nominated as Best Actress. So she’s earned her spot. She looks elegant. As always. Though the thought occurs that she could walk the red carpet in a trash bag and look elegant. I mean really, I adore this girl’s grace. That said, and I know this next statement counters the rest of the post, but she kind of looks naked here. I mean, it’s like an Academy Award hand-beaded Magic Eye picture. Where if you squint it looks like she’s either nude or she’s wearing no bra and panties under that dress. I can’t help that I see these things. I’m not making fun, either. I really did stare at these, trying to work out whether I was looking at nipples or beads (probably nipples).

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Cate Blanchett attended the Oscars 2011 red carpet on Sunday night. These are pictures of one of the night’s few ‘different’ dresses. And by ‘different’ I mean ‘not glitter or lace.’ She’s one of the few people on the night who didn’t look like they used net curtains dipped in Dylon to handmake their own dresses (attendees sewed sock puppets as practise). I don’t know what it’s supposed to be. It’s like some weird table cloth/ anal beads dress. I don’t really know what I’m looking at, aside from it being Givency Couture. So I don’t know whether I like it. Do you?

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