Posts under ‘Magazine’
I’m going to skip right to the part where you’re yelling at someone else for a change. Because for once it’s not me who is saying whatever admittedly nonsensical s**t I’m thinking. Glam Belleza Latina got TOO CLOSE for a close up of real doll Salma Hayek’s realistic pores. Inside the CONTINUE READING
- Taylor Swift Covers Hard-Looking Implants - FW
- Jennifer Aniston In Nude Bra & Panties - TooFab
- Denise Richards: Bad Plastic Surgery? - Lainey Gossip
- Miley Cyrus SHOCKING Photo Released - Fishwrapper
- KIM K'S MOST SHOCKING PHOTOS EVER? - Reality Tea
- Katy Perry's Dress Is See-Through - Fishwrapper
- Taylor Swift CAMEL TOE in Tight Shorts - TooFab
- Kanye West Shocking Childhood Photo - Lainey Gossip
According to whomever it is that comes up with the filler on slow news days at Star, Gwyneth Paltrow spent the whole 2013 MET Gala pulling a sad face because she’s just so sad she has no friends. According to the kinds of sources who don’t really like going through trash and so just make this stuff up as they go along, Paltrow is ridiculed for being ‘out of touch and mean.’ CONTINUE READING
Kelly Osbourne has rustled the jimmies of everyone who made it through high school biology, by claiming to be putting off childbirth because she’s scared her vagina will instantly become a clown car (I was asleep most of high school and everything that came after but I glean that since it’s a muscle and that’s what it’s made for it can become stronger with use and/ or with kegels). Teaching me where babies come from (the surrogate’s vagina) Osbourne says this in Cosmo when asked whether she’s going to make babies with her fiance: ‘I do want babies, but I don’t want a great big vagina.’ Photos from her shoot, below.
A few times now, I’ve mentioned offhand that whatever Amanda Bynes is going through right now reminds me of whatever Britney Spears went through immediately after shaving her head a few years ago. Adding that if Spears had access to things like Twitter at the time, she would have had an entire Instagram/ Twitter documenting her own breakdown too. Except it appears Bynes is really reading from the 2006-7 playbook that’s not even a real book–just some shapes drawn in crayon on toilet paper. Remember, Spears was so isolated she would spend evenings doing destructive things and invite paparazzi to watch because she was friendless, retinue-less, and desperate for the company. Well… Bynes is basically doing the same thing by inviting tabloid paps to her empty house (remember that Lindsay Lohan’s house was basically empty, also, for some time) to watch her do drugs and take meta-selfies. According to In Touch, Bynes is all bruised up and her house is barely-furnished and devoid of personalisation unless you count random drug paraphernalia everywhere. I can’t… full story here.
EDIT: Bynes ALREADY issued a rebuttal: ‘This ugly faced woman @JessicaFinnNYC is the one who bought fake photos of me & put that picture that looks nothing like me on the cover!’ She adds: ‘That’s not my bed! Those aren’t my toes! My toes are pedicured! I just did an exclusive interview with intouch last week, now they bought fake altered photos by that ugly black man in the photo or someone who knows him! They used an old shot of me on the cover with a bad angle of my old nose before I had surgery to reshape my profile and to remove the webbing from my eyes. I have to sue because that’s not my apartment, those aren’t my clothes! They morphed photos of my face onto someone’s body to ruin my life! I have to make a big deal of this and sue because that’s not me! I care about my appearance so I have to defend myself! I look like a different person now that I had surgery! Why did they put an old shot of me on the cover? I don’t look like that anymore! I only want photos of my gorgeous new nose on the cover of tabloids and real magazines! The photos in this issue are fake and mocked up! I don’t care enough to keep talking about it. Just assume that I f**ked the boyfriend of the editor of intouch because they f**king hate me!
Because Photoshop is all you need to become bikini-ready after 31-years of eating nothing but Fruity Pebbles and expired prescription pills, here’s Britney Spears on the cover of SHAPE Magazine whose digital artists need a damn medal for using whatever tool it is that creates light in someone’s dead eyes.