In Touch Weekly is reading your tea leaves, Fat Betty. Jessica Simpson’s future delivery is on the cover and conversations with Kanye West from 2008 are inside the issue. The tabloid followed the lead of OK! who announced that Jessica Simpson had given birth. A false alarm. The river of amnio is safely contained, so long as Simpson’s legs are crossed. And now ITW says that Simpson had a ‘dramatic delivery’ or some misleading s**t you’re supposed to glean while b**ching about the cost of gum because you’re not allowed to save four bucks by skim-reading the whole story at the counter. Anyway, inside, the tabloid has a story about Kim Kardashian and West. About which I’m only posting because nothing happened today, and I’m still tickled by this quote since I can totally imagine West pulling a ‘She wrong number sexted me!’ while sending back a d**k photo. ITW confirms the claims of Amber Rose, and Ray J, and Kardashian’s first husband Damon Thomas. A source says Kimye’s cells are the repository for ALL THE NUDES. Which is great. Because it’ll break the Internet when their cells are finally hacked. ‘It was at a Fourth of July party they had at his house,’ the source says. ‘Kanye was on his laptop and [then-fiance] Alexis came up behind him and saw that he was looking at the screen of his phone at a naked picture of Kim.’ But it’s totally okay, he said, because he’d never date a ‘whore with a fake ass.’
Posts under ‘Kim Kardashian’
Kanye West Knows Urinal Cakes Isn’t Beyonce
In a concession that will placate those of you AS IFing all over my Facebook, Kanye West admitted that Kim Kardashian is to urinal cakes what Beyonce is to hideous pants. Because AS IF Kardashian could compare to a real talent. Last week, Us Weekly’s sources claimed that West’s delusions had devolved to where he compared his Wednesday s3x tape partner to his friend’s wife: ‘It’s not a PR stunt. They’re perfect for each other. He thinks she’s his Beyonce.’ Which honestly sounds like it came out of the mouth of pimp momager as she picked their kids’ names. But relax, because that never happened. And West’s back to his d**k photo defense: if he’s not rapping about it, it never happened. Remember, he admitted to the d**k photos because he already rapped about it in Runaway. He said the same when asked about the comparison by the tabloid: ‘Of course there are a lot of media inaccuracies surrounding this past couple of weeks, especially the ‘She’s my Beyonce’ quote,’ West told the tabloid. ‘I would never compare anyone to my friend’s wife. Come on now, that doesn’t even sound like me. If I don’t say something in a rap or on Twitter, it’s not true.’
In related news, Howard Stern is over it. And Khloe Kardashian’s womb is displaying a ‘Vacancy’ sign, despite the apparent admission by her father-in-law. Sources tell RadarOnline.com that Joe Odom’s admission is ‘absolutely not true.’
Added below because they’re new, photos of Beyonce and B.I.C. in NYC April 17.
Kris Jenner Is Obviously ‘Thrilled’ About Kimye
In news that will shock no one who knows pimps gon’ pimp, it’s reported that Kris Jenner is overcome with emotion at the thought of the portmanteau and spin-off potential of Kim Kardashian’s union with Kanye West. Because West gets the pimp game, and because there’s no shame in Kardashian’s game, it’s reported that this is a laboured stunt to prop his record sales and her viewer numbers for the upcoming season of Keeping Up With The Kardashians. Not that the morality of faking a relationship matters because MONIES and because pimp hand is law: ‘[Her mom] is thrilled about Kim’s new romance with Kanye. She loves that they’re together and thinks Kanye is a huge step up for Kim after her marriage to Kris Humphries. Dating Kanye puts Kim in a whole new stratosphere. Kris [Humphries] was just a basketball player making a few million dollars a year, but Kanye is a world-wide multi-millionaire superstar. His money and fame are all going to benefit Kim now and she’s going to have all the perks of being his girlfriend. Kris Jenner… wants to make sure she maximizes all the attention Kim is going to get, as well as the financial opportunities this are going to open up.’
- Adam Levine Hates Kim Kardashian Too - TooFab
- Miley Cyrus Showing Her Cleavage - The Superficial
- Tara Reid Is Basically A Paid Escort? - Hollywood PQ
- Here's Chloe Sevigny's Fake Wang - DS [NSFW]
- Jennifer Lopez's Boobs Are Sagging - Lainey Gossip
- So... How Is Sex With Miley Cyrus? - Hollywood PQ
- Courtney Stodden Is A Kitty Cat - DS [Site NSFW]
- Jeremy Renner Is Probably A Booze Hound - Rumor Fix
Wook Thinks Kim Kardashian Is Rushing In
With Khloe Kardashian being the voice of reason, it’s reported she’s concerned her sister is rushing into another relationship. Moreover, there’s a concern the fauxmance for ratings/ iTunes sales could damage Kim Kardashian’s position in the divorce filing. I don’t know about that, I don’t think pimp-momager approved trips to FAO Schwarz and lyrics about getting Kris Humphries fired from the NJ Nets are admissible. Except, perhaps, Kanye West admitting in Theraflu that he’d ‘loved’ Kardashian since before her wedding gives some credence to allegations of an affair (I guess album sales and viewing figures for West’s guest appearances on KUWTK are better PR than sinking Humphries in court). In any case, a source tells RadarOnline.com Wook is concerned: ‘Khloe just wishes that Kim wouldn’t get involved with anyone for at least a year. Kim isn’t even divorced yet and Khloe is extremely worried that Kris is going to try and attempt to use her new relationship as ammunition to score a bigger settlement. Khloe doesn’t want her sister to get hurt again and she is extremely concerned about cheating allegations that have been made against Kanye in the past. Kim is extremely vulnerable, and the last thing she needs is to have her heart broken.’
Slow wants to know whether the wedding shill money was spent on West: ‘Kris absolutely wants to know if Kim spent money on Kanye while he was married to her. If Kim took Kanye out to dinner, bought him any gifts, etc., Kris wants to know how much she spent, if anything at all. Under the law in California, Kris is legally entitled to that money and he deserves it, if it can be proven.’
Kim Kardashian’s ‘Boyfriend’ Will Be On KUWTK
Kim Kardashian lied through her Cosmo UK interview, claiming to be happily single and insisting she would never again feature a love interest on her show. So, of course, she will feature supposed boyfriend Kanye West through season seven. Kardashian told the magazine: ‘I’m not even close to dating again… [Also] I wouldn’t have another relationship shown on the show.’ She continues that it’s awkward getting to know a guy on camera. Although, she’s been sleeping with West on and off for eight years. So maybe that’s the disparity. Or perhaps Page Six is right in its claims that Kardashian and West have some informal agreement to ‘date’ for the sake of publicity. In which case, they’re not really dating so Kardashian’s assertions hold true. A source says: ‘Kanye is head over heels in love with Kim, and he has told her he would love to appear on the reality show if she wants him to. Kim is a bit leery of having her man appear on camera… but watch for Kanye to make several appearances on the show towards the end of the season… It won’t be all about Kanye. Kim feels extremely comfortable with Kanye, because she feels that for the first time she is with a partner that understands what she does for a living and doesn’t scrutinize her for being in a reality show. She also doesn’t feel like Kanye is using her, like she did with Kris.’ About none of which Humphries cares, because he remains convinced Kardashian cheated through to their marriage: ‘When Kris found out about Kim going public with Kanye, he told his friends he wanted to tell West, ‘good luck dude, you are going to need it.” Five photos of Kardashian in Los Angeles April 9.
Does Slowphries Have Good Bone Structure?
I saw previews of this shoot in In Touch Weekly, but here are the actual photos from WESTEAST Magazine. I don’t know what to make of these, but at least dude’s mouth isn’t open in the TOO CLOSE close-ups. The photos were released the day estranged wife Kim Kardashian started whoring a new f**kship with better matched Kanye West in what may be a stunt to promote West’s new single (including a walk of shame from West’s house the following morning). It’s rumoured that Kardashian and West have been casually sleeping together starting at least 2010 according to Amber Rose, who says there was cheating. And the tabloids say Kardashian cheated on Humphries with West, just like she cheated on first husband Damon Thomas with Ray J. More of Humphries’ shoot below.






