An episode of Keeping Up With The Kardashians will be dedicated to whoring out Lamar Odom’s old neighbourhood in Jamaica, Queens because MONIES. Or because the mail shot (I assume) producers sent to every household informed locals of the exact date and time of Odom’s return. Resulting in hundreds of hangers-on watching the family buying sneakers. The tour included Kim playing basketball in leather pants while security tried not to get in her way. 16 photos.
I take it today’s fake nude of Kim Kardashian is circulating because Googling ‘Boobies’ on an iPhone with one hand is only so entertaining. Because it’s not like there are endless real photos of someone who has effectively made her name in porn, only to sterilise her own career history when it behooves her. And it’s not like she blew a guy and released it for profit because pimp momma needs a new pair of shoes. These are the lessons we take away, when another photo of Kardashian is released (NSFW, obviously). Which, according to The Daily Mail, first surfaced on TheDirty.com then on MediaTakeOut.com who claim it’s Kardashian ‘before her boob job.’ Which ignores its own readers calling the photos ‘retarded,’ the random girl’s flatter chest and butt and obviously-different face/ hair/ colouring/ body-type. Incidentally, the MTO photos of ‘Kim & Kanye f**king’ were obvious fakes too, people are just pressed to admit it. In any case, Kardashian is comically-indignant that we’re looking at imposter a$$ pillows rather than authentic, Vivid-approved a$$ pillows. Her rep told the British newspaper: ‘It’s not her. You can totally tell. It looks nothing like her.’
Eight photos of Kim Kardashian crammed into Houndstooth pattern pants.
Kris Humphries only just realised that his estranged wife is faking a relationship with Whichever Rich Black Guy Is Around At The Time because MONIES. So she doesn’t have to go back to making porn. RadarOnline.com reports that Humphries wants to know whether Kimye is contrived for ratings because it goes toward the credibility of his fraud case: ‘The crux of Kris’ case for annulment is that Kim married him under fraudulent pretenses and did it for her reality show. Team Humphries wants to know if producers of the Kardashian reality shows were in contact with Kanye West prior to the new couple dating or going public with their relationship and what those conversations consisted of. When did Kim develop romantic feelings for Kanye and why after publicly stating she wouldn’t feature any future romantic relationships on her reality shows, did she do a complete 360?’ 10 photos of Kardashian leaving her Manhattan hotel April 25.
A few days ago, Khloe Kardashian she joked: ‘It’s not like we’re driven to slavery. Everyone has the option [to appear on-camera]. Except for us; except for the ones my mom gave birth to.’ Except it wasn’t a joke at all, but some kind of cipher that translates as ‘I’ve been in this dungeon long enough to grow hairy pits, someone bring me Nair!’ While the authorities take care of that with a Walgreens run, you may be interested to know the entire family has been sold into slavery. Not just the Wook. The family just signed a $40 million deal for three more seasons of Keeping Up With The Kardashians. Which means there’ll be at least KUWTK season seven, season eight, and season nine. Sources tell RadarOnline.com that Kanye West and Kim Kardashian’s relationship of convenience will be on the show too: ‘Kim and Kanye are making sure that so many aspects of their new relationship are going to be filmed.’ Despite the 31-year-old’s contrived lie in Cosmo that never again would her relationships become part of the show even if E! dangled a big fat penis check in front of her.
Included are photos of Kim Kardashian wearing a giant labia, because why not?
Kim Kardashian and the other one, the one with the hairy pits, gave an interview with PAPER Magazine about Internet celebrity. During an interview where the 31-year-old admitted telling friends on Instagram: ‘Be warned, I’ll probably be posting some slutty pictures,’ Kardashian said she swore once on Twitter then deleted it because it upset the same fans who weren’t offended by her porno: ‘Yes! One time I wrote, ‘F**k yeah!’ and all my younger fans were like, ‘What are you turning into?’ So I deleted it.’ I only included Kim Kardashian’s excerpts below because Wookiees aren’t people so I’m ignoring half the PAPER interview.
Kim Kardashian and Kanye West took a break from designing their Klu Klux Klan-inspired monograms to go on another pimp momager-approved date this weekend. Kardashian was in Chicago shilling the KKK collection. After which she flew to New York City to be with West. The couple staged an ice cream date. Then they went on a dinner date with her family that evening. Also this weekend, pimp momager reminded us who’s favourite by tweeting: ‘I love that kim kardashian still crawls in bed with me. She’s still my little girl! #favoritething.’
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