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Posts under ‘Khloe Kardashian’

Well, This Is Random: Kim Kardashian Popping Pills?

May 23rd, 2012
by Amy Grindhouse.
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There’s a random, scurrilous report about Kim Kardashian being some kind of pill-popper, that I’m adding because, sure, why not? I’m not setting a DIS GUN BE GUD timer (those are still running on Britney, Demi, and Brandi). But this is getting a footnote, on the off-chance it portends the 31-year-old being found face down in a ditch as some fabulous homeless person steals her shoes. Australia’s NW Magazine claims the reality star is becoming dependent and the family knows about it (spoiler: never happened, but it works as fan fiction).

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Khloe Kardashian: I’m Not The Ugly Kardashian

May 17th, 2012
by Amy Grindhouse.
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Releasing a statement where every second word is ‘fat’ or ‘ugly,’ Khloe Kardashian’s giving some weird manifesto to E! News about her appearance. She already said she was bullied as a kid, and her mother has called her ‘fat,’ and she’s over being called ‘Shrek’ and a ‘transvestite.’ And now she tells her captors a E! she’s over being called the ‘ugly sister’ because she’s ‘pretty damn hot,’ her words: ‘I was called fat all the time. I’ve always been compared to my sisters, who are beautiful and who have always been. I feel like I was so attacked. [I was picked on because] I had to wear braces, I was overweight as a kid, just for no reason. I’m called the fat sister. I’m called the ugliest Kardashian. I’m proud of myself. I could break and go get all this plastic surgery and get my nose fixed and get lipo or do whatever, but I haven’t chosen to do that because I know I’m a great person. I’m pretty damn hot, if you ask me.’

No Divorce Allowed In The Family Brothel

May 3rd, 2012
by Amy Grindhouse.
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Probably compelled to remain married for the same reason she’s been compelled to put on hiatus a show she seems to want cancelled, Khloe Kardashian covers People Magazine because Jessica Simpson had the bad manners to deliver two days too late to make any of this week’s front covers. Instead, the Kardashians cover all but one of the weekly tabloids. In any case, Kardashian offers the ‘exclusive’ of the same banal soundbites she’s been sharing with everyone else all year about marriage, the spin-off, and making babies: ‘I’m a modern girl, but you should put your husband first. I like to think divorce is not an option. I’m definitely [Lamar's] cheerleader.’ Asked about baby-making plans, she continued: ‘We’re trying, but I’m not writing down my ovulation dates or anything. We’re just not using any birth control,’ because birth control is for humans, silly billy.

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LINKS FROM AROUND THE WEB
 

Khloe & Lamar Isn’t Cancelled Because MONIES

May 1st, 2012
by Amy Grindhouse.
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Realising pimp momager would never allow her family to walk away from the publicity and easy endorsements, the world let out a collective DUH! because Khloe & Lamar has not been cancelled. A rep panick BBM’ed the following: ‘It has NOT been cancelled. It’s just on hold now while schedules are figured out. It will depend on their schedules, as Lamar’s basketball schedule is a priority.’ Another cipher, which translates as: ‘I’m in a dark room, watching the rough-cut of Mason’s spin-off on a loop. I’m so cold. Send blankets. And a sack lunch. No. Send hel…’ I can’t understand the rest. Something about string cheese?

The photo is from today’s We Didn’t Get Cancelled tour of New York, while grandmas watch her sister’s porn yelling ‘It’s purple at the end, she left a gap in the middle… cly-toris.’ That clip is below (Thanks for the reminder, Joan!)

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Kim Kardashian Playing Ball In Leather Pants

Apr 30th, 2012
by Amy Grindhouse.
2 comments

An episode of Keeping Up With The Kardashians will be dedicated to whoring out Lamar Odom’s old neighbourhood in Jamaica, Queens because MONIES. Or because the mail shot (I assume) producers sent to every household informed locals of the exact date and time of Odom’s return. Resulting in hundreds of hangers-on watching the family buying sneakers. The tour included Kim playing basketball in leather pants while security tried not to get in her way. 16 photos.

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Urinal Kardashian’s Fans Offended By Swearing

Apr 24th, 2012
by Amy Grindhouse.
1 comment

Kim Kardashian and the other one, the one with the hairy pits, gave an interview with PAPER Magazine about Internet celebrity. During an interview where the 31-year-old admitted telling friends on Instagram: ‘Be warned, I’ll probably be posting some slutty pictures,’ Kardashian said she swore once on Twitter then deleted it because it upset the same fans who weren’t offended by her porno: ‘Yes! One time I wrote, ‘F**k yeah!’ and all my younger fans were like, ‘What are you turning into?’ So I deleted it.’ I only included Kim Kardashian’s excerpts below because Wookiees aren’t people so I’m ignoring half the PAPER interview.

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