Because boobs are soft enough to use as pillows, Ke$ha’s decided that she’s bisexual for the purpose of her latest album (sexuality obviously isn’t a choice… unless MONIES that is). She covers Seventeen February 2013 holding a fluffy euphemism that I assume is also the ghost of Mercy Kardashian.
Ke$ha covers V Magazine Americana issue for the same reason she posted a photo peeing in the street a few days ago, she’s shilling her new album with the power of urine because Kim Kardashian left a gap in the market with the failure of Jam (Turn It Up). The power of tinkles compels me to post these photos of Ke$ha wearing a Dsquared American flag dress and matching smeared face paint, along with excerpts from an interview about being pop’s ‘dirty little sister’ because she doesn’t wash her hands after. Shoot and second cover below.
Ke$ha was pushed through a car wash and photographed falling out the other side by Uncle Terry’s molester lens. Ke$ha kind of looks like Britney Spears would after a power wash, right? Not like, TWINSIES!!! But, a passing resemblance in the face and saggy titties. He molested her hair. She molested his cheek and then his glasses. Now they’re even. More photos of Ke$ha wearing no make-up, below.
So, on Good Friday, as every one of you slipped into a preemptive or sympathy chocolate coma, this was released. I missed it too. I’ve been farting chocolate, three days straight, and my vision’s going a little blurry from chocolate poisoning. While I raise the alarm, you can listen to the below. It’s the remix of Till The World Ends by Britney Spears. The remix features Nicki Minaj and the song’s writer, Ke$ha. Dare I say, Ke$ha should have been the one to release the song, possibly with Minaj as featured artist. This probably shouldn’t have gone anywhere near Spears. Her whole approach to the project has been phoned-in and lethargic; the song and the video. I wish I could c&p Ke$ha into the whole thing. Baring in mind I don’t even like Ke$ha. But she at least sings her song with some life, some energy. You can judge for yourself, by listening to the below audio. In related news, Minaj announced she’s not going to use her butt cheeks to clean the laps of unwashed fans (otherwise known as a lap dance). She told Power 106’s Yesi Ortiz and Felli Fel, ‘When I go [out] with Britney, no more lap dances.’ The two also spent time together, without Ke$ha, at the The Factory nightclub in West Hollywood, for Minaj’s after party (also attended by the singer’s boyfriend, Jason Trawick, and Khloe Kardashian). Photos and clips below.
Ke$ha says she knew all about sex, before she even turned seven. The singer made the claim in a new interview, where it sounds like she was adopted by wolves/ the parents of Taylor Momsen, around the same age. I managed to subdue my gag reflex long enough to read her quotes from Sunday’s The Times of London, about her long sexual history. Extremely long, it turns out. She basicalls claims that the wolves threw a box of rubbers, their car keys (they can drive without opposable thumbs?) and booze at her and left her to raise herself.
‘I knew everything about sex before I was even seven,’ she said. ‘My mom left me at home when I was 14 with a credit card, and a box of condoms and the keys to the car and said, ‘Don’t get pregnant and don’t drink and drive.’ I had to be responsible for myself.’ She adds, of her album’s sexual content, ‘I’m not a babysitter. My b**ls are on the table. I’m very upfront with who I am. There is sex. There is alcohol. The kids are gonna figure it out someday.’ Timewasting/ overprotective parents, your children are going to start sexually-inappropriately acting out and it would behoove you to allow that to continue, lest they grow up without a drinking problem and miss their chance at working on Disney Channel.
More sex pictures of Ke$ha leaked today. I saw one, a few hours ago, of Ke$ha laying in bed next to some dude and was all ‘Meh’. It showed her clothed, and was put to one side since I’m more of a ‘Taint, or GTFO’ kind of girl. Having looked around a little more, I’ve found the other extremely NSFW pictures of Ke$ha having sex; the most explicit of which purports to show the singer getting head (from a dude whose face is clear at all times, and can be seen sitting next to Ke$ha in the clothed picture). This is at least the second Ke$ha sex picture leak since July; the first of which seemed to show the end result of some guy jacking off on her chest. The images aren’t posted on this site, because by the time I’d get done censoring them, they’d be one giant black bar.
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