I’m reporting this because I’m tickled by the logic. And because we get to focus on her chest again, after a whole year of her wearing patterned muumuus. This comes from the creative fiction department of the UK’s Sun newspaper. But, like I said… tickled. According to the newspaper, Simpson wants a breast-reduction because her [...]
Posts under ‘Jessica Simpson’
Boobs’ Fiance Accurately Gauges Her Vapidity
Excuse the title, I’m too tired and migraine-afflicted to bother thinking of something more intelligent right now. It would appear that the future Mrs Jessica Johnson was given a birthday present she couldn’t eat as she turned 31-years-old (she’s older than Paris Hilton and Kim Kardashian, who knew?) Being given something that wasn’t a pizza [...]
You, Too, Could Smell Of Future Alcoholism
Here’s Jessica Simpson’s advert for whichever scent it is that makes you smell like a future five-time-divorcee. I don’t know what to think of this advert. On one hand, it feels half-baked and like she should have left it in the Photoshop oven for another hour. On the flip side, it makes a nice change [...]
Jessica Simpson Working Out Before Wedding
Jessica Simpson is losing weight for her wedding. Which is almost certainly a good thing. As, frankly, I can see the jokes about how heavy she looks in her wedding dress coming a mile off. The 30-year-old singer hired celebrity trainer Tracy Anderson to help her fit into whatever non-white moomoo will pass for her [...]
Jessica Simpson Pantless for New York Magazine
Jessica Simpson covers this week’s issue of New York Magazine. The singer is wearing no pants for this photo. And she wears an oversize wig. Which are good things, otherwise there’d be no real reason to give her cover the time of day. In the interview, it would appear the magazine has the grace to [...]
Will Jessica Simpson Insist on Having a Prenup?
First things first. Jessica Simpson may soon be worth a billion dollars. What? A billion cakes, surely. Someone must have made a bunch of typos when reporting that, ‘Jessica Simpson is on the fast track to becoming a billionaire as her fashion empire continues to rake in cash.’ Adding, ‘Jessica’s company has already earned $750 [...]
