Posts under ‘Jessica Simpson’

In a statement that requires a suspension of disbelief because I have it on good authority Jessica Simpson is pregnant with a toddler, her stylist friend Ken Paves tells Us Weekly the singer is loving the final month of her pregnancy. By which I assume Paves means she’s loving backache and preggo ‘Swamp-a$$.’ Asked whether the kid would be taller than him at birth, Paves was all like ‘Nah, definitely probably not.’ Asked how Simpson was dealing with possibly never giving birth or delivering at Christmas, Paves embellished: ‘She’s [doing] amazing. This is so perfect for her. She’s just loving this moment now. Jessica glows all the time. [She's] as happy as can be!’ Earlier, Simpson explained why she only recently acquiesced to wearing flats despite the risks those eight-inch heels posed to her health in the final trimester: ‘This little lady in my belly throws off my balance,’ Simpson said. ‘I’m flat-footed, so cute flats and ballet slippers are comical on my feet. I actually had to train myself to walk in [flip-flops]!’

Tori Spelling understands pregnancy, since she’s been pregnant non-stop for years. As such, she understands that you’re not getting any thinner while carrying around another human being. This fact seems to have escaped some people, however, like The Today Show guests who called Jessica Simpson ‘fat’ last week. And The View’s Joy Behar, who said: ‘Remember the time that Jessica Simpson was criticized because she didn’t know the difference between chicken and tuna? That kind of thing is more fun to criticize than the fact that the girl is fat. Most women who are pregnant are not supposed to gain more than 25 pounds. She looks like she gained a lot more than that.’ Simpson joked about her weight this weekend, saying of her CGI bump: ‘Last chance to see me ‘fat’ aka PREGNANT on the cover of Elle. I loved this shoot, only on stands for a few more days!!!’ Except preggo again Spelling is not laughing: ‘When women are pregnant, people need to lay off. It’s a really special time and you should be able to deal with it in your own terms. You just have to wear it proud and go with it. Every body is different. As far is weight, you never know what is going to happen. You can’t control what angle people are snapping your photo from. Craving is an overrated word! Basically when you’re pregnant, you’re very hungry. You’re eating for two. That’s the bottom line and any food sounds good.’

With only a month to go before she delivers a 10-pound baby, having gained 60-pounds, Jessica Simpson has reportedly conceded that flats would be better since, as she told Jay Leno mid-March, ‘It’s a tough thing here and I’m wearing six inch heels, it’s a lot of weight to carry on six inches.’ And now a source tells Us Weekly that Simpson will spend the final month of her pregnancy in flats even though she joked back in November: ‘I’m probably going to deliver my baby in [4-inch YSL heels].’ An onlooker overheard Simpson this week saying: ‘Only one month to go! I can’t wear heels anymore. I tried but it was too hard. Wearing heels is like a religion to me, so it’s tough!’ Simpson is due mid-to-late April.

I suspect that Jessica Simpson’s kid is going to walk out of her uterus taller than its mother’s 5 foot 2 inch frame. I got $5 on the baby girl being all of 5 foot 5 inches with a pre-acceptance letter to the college of her choice. Except, I’m whimsically reaching for reasons to post these photos of Simpson running through the rain to eat her barbecue food because preggos are funny when they run.

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Jessica Simpson has two covers for Elle April 2012; one clothed, one naked, the former of which would have made the better newsstand cover and the former should probably have been subs only. However, it would seem apparent the passe unclothed cover made its way onto grocery store shelves where it’s at eye-level with the other, mostly clothed women’s magazine covers. A tipster tells Jezebel.com that one Arizona grocery store made a sign to cover the nudity, handwritten as opposed to something corporate-issue like the homophobe shield masking that old Elton John cover, asking ‘Please Do Not Remove Cardboard.’