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Posts under ‘Jennifer Lopez’

Jennifer Lopez Talks About Tom Cruise Divorce

Jennifer Lopez’s body glitter will add sparkle to the anti-climactic divorce of Katie Holmes from Tom Cruise. Because jazz hands punctuated with ‘Because I got it like that,’ make everything better. Lopez’s father is reportedly a Scientologist and she’s totally BBM friends with the estranged couple. So, of course, here she is slapping Holmes and Cruise in the face for pulling focus while she’s trying to negotiate a better deal on American Idol. She told Entertainment Tonight: ‘I heard about it when I was in South America and I was stunned. I’m sad for them. They’re both really lovely people, and just like Marc and I, it’s not what you want to happen. You fight and you try until you realize you can’t anymore. You know I just wish them, you know, peace in their decision. And really for Suri and their other children as well, because you become such a family, it’s not just Suri, it’s Connor and Isabella and everybody, you know, you all become a family. And when that breaks apart, nobody wins; everybody’s heartbroken in some way. And I just wish them peace.’ Attached are photos of #RIPJelloTor and #RIPTomKat at the 2006 Pursuit of Happyness premiere.

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No, Jennifer Lopez Isn’t Engaged to The Choreographer

Pulling a Kim Kardashian by denying something no one’s even talking about (over the weekend no less), Jennifer Lopez denies that The Choreographer will choreograph their wedding dance because they’re not even engaged. Yet. Quelling a rumour I missed at the weekend, Lopez insists we shouldn’t believe engagement rumours just because she’s wearing something that looks like an engagement ring. She wrote on her website: ‘The J-Low Truth About The Ring… Rumors!!! Don’t be fooled by the rocks that I got. No engagement!’

No, The Choreographer Didn’t Tattoo His Junk

There were rumours that Casper Smart got Jennifer Lopez’s name tattooed near enough to his pubis that it’d be pretty tough to explain to a subsequent love interest. The rumours started in the tabloids in March then resurfaced on a slow news day last week. Except Smart is sticking to bragging rights about being promoted from The Help to The Babysitter to The Choreographer leaving only ‘Your Name Here…’ to be filled in at a later date. Asked on Twitter whether he got the ink, the 25-year-old dancer replied, no, the rumours were ‘Very false.’

The Choreographer Slumming World Tour on TV

The Choreographer of All The Things has been given another job by Jennifer Lopez. According to Page Six, Lopez sold a reality show about The Choreographer to Oxygen. A real show. Sold for real money. That will air on real television amid their real break-up (think Q’Viva! The Chosen with Marc Anthony, the Kohl’s clothing line also with Marc Anthony, and almost every music video she’s made since 1999). The basis of the show will be The Choreographer leading Lopez’s dancers and instructing them ahead of her world tour with Enrique Iglesias.

The Choreographer Knows We’re Watching

Casper Smart has been promoted from The Help to Choreographer of All The Things. At least, that’s what Jennifer Lopez told him, to keep him quiet, and happy, before the Enrique Iglesias joint tour. And because Lopez takes The Choreographer everywhere, she brought him to the Hollywood What To Expect When You’re Expecting premiere. During which he was interviewed too, because he’s a ‘get’ now; people are obliged to ask him questions, while gritting their teeth, and wishing the real Choreographer of All The Things would take the red carpet instead. Asked by Access Hollywood how long it took his girlfriend to dress from the bottom the hamper, the 25-year-old replied: ‘How long does it take any girl to get ready?!? She doesn’t take that long.’ Asked how his fashion has changed since he became a ‘get,’ he replied: ‘She has great fashion. It definitely makes me pull up. I have to go a little bit harder, watch what I wear. I can’t walk around in sweats and just chill out clothes. I’ve got to [look] nice.’

Jennifer Lopez & Cameron Diaz Cover Redbook

Jennifer Lopez’s 1.0 face, Cameron Diaz’s 2.0 face, and the remaining cast of What To Expect When You’re Expecting cover Redbook. Brooklyn Decker, Anna Kendrick and Elizabeth Banks also wear coordinating insipid colours for the Ruven Afanador shoot. With this being a baby movie, the cast is asked about baby-making. And Diaz  is asked, and not for the first time, about arbitrarily pushing a baby thing out to placate the womb police. Asked ‘WHY WON’T YOU BREEEEED!?’ She replies: ‘It’s not what I’ve wanted out of my life thus far… There’s a box people put themselves in, and when you [live] outside of it, that makes them uncomfortable; they have to look at themselves and question their own choices.’ Pretty much my reply if/ when the womb police pull me over to  check my papers.

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