Jennifer Lopez’s 2001 face is Photoshopped onto Jennifer Lopez’s 2013 face for the cover of Glam Belleza Latina. Inside of which she’s praising herself for being pretty, again, kind of like that time she praised herself for raising her own kids and for dressing herself. She tells the magazine, ‘People praise me for being physically pretty. You can think, ‘That’s who I am.’ But who you really are is all the messy, complex stuff. That makes you more interesting.’ She continues to attempt introspection, ‘I am confident. It doesn’t mean I don’t have my moments. But you have to remember the value of your individuality; that you have something special and different to offer that nobody else has.’
Jennifer Lopez just made a bunch of magazine subscribers vomit in their own mouths by referring to herself as ‘Bear’ in Harper’s Bazaar Magazine February 2013. As though people who pay for magazines mostly comprised of adverts haven’t suffered enough. Lopez covers the magazine and inside of the issue she’s wearing those boots that failed to distract from Anne Hathaway’s vagina at the Les Mis premiere. Yep… this photo of Lopez compared to this photo of Hathaway; same boots, different colour. In any case, Lopez is nauseating when she’s pretending to be in love because she’s in love with being soooo in love. Realising that Casper Smart was present during the interview and that they call each other ‘Bears’ on Twitter and wherever, she said this of her work ethic: ‘I think I can just handle more than the average bear, you know?’
The Love Bear, Jennifer Lopez, is still dating The Original Slum Bear, Casper Smart. Which means she gets slum love in exchange for paying her employee a munificent stipend. They’re currently in Malaysia where slum love isn’t frowned upon and from where The Love Bear posted this photo on Twitter.
Jennifer Lopez knows she’s allergic to poor people because one touched her out of spite when she was poor herself and it made her break out in hives. They’re just ‘The Poors’ to her now because she isn’t one anymore and because things that cause itching need a name too. One of them nearly touched her again during a recent flight but Lopez didn’trespond by getting the person fired like she allegedly did last time. Instead, she avoided any physical or eye contact which I guess means The Poors spray isn’t working but the salve is. A flight attendant who says he offered Lopez a drink in the first class of a United Airlines flight alleges: ‘I just said, ‘What can I get you to drink?’ But Jennifer refused to even acknowledge me. She turned her head away and told her personal assistant, ‘Please tell him I’d like a Diet Coke and lime.’ She wouldn’t even look at me. It was sad, she seems so sweet in her movies.’ Another source says: ‘She doesn’t speak to salespeople, restaurant or hotel staff… or flight attendants. She only talks through her assistants.’ I guess this means The Original Slum Bear is like her doing community service? Photos of Jennifer Lopez performing in concert.
Ben Affleck spoke in a recent interview about how he’s email-friends-when-it-suits-him with ex-fiancee Jennifer Lopez. That he regrets filming the Jenny From the Block video although it’s worth it because he got to see her naked. And now in an interview with GQ, Affleck explains the backlash he got from the relationship with Lopez that makes it sound like he’s got PTSD 10 years later.
There are actually two stories today about Jennifer Lopez getting people fired. The first is getting the most play because it’s about a maid who claims to have been fired for asking, politely, for an autograph and Lopez played a maid who committed theft and identity fraud in Maid in Manhattan. The maid, Pray Dodaj, worked at the luxury hotel Melia Duesseldorf and she told German newspaper Bild: ’I cleaned on her floor. And I am an incredibly big fan so I took all my courage and rang the bell to get an autograph but I was rejected by two assistants at the door. A day later the cleaning company that employed me at the hotel called and said that Ms. Lopez had complained. I was fired right there on the phone! Because of an autograph!’ Lopez denies the story on Twitter: ‘C’mon thought you knew me better than this.. Would never get anyone fired over an autograph. 1st I heard of this was on twitter. #hurtful’ The same day, a second person claimed to have been fired for kind of a bulls**t reason. Lopez’s make-up artist of 11-years Scott Barnes (who’s also worked for Celine Dion, Gwyneth Paltrow, and Kate Hudson) says he was accused of leaking details about the singer’s 2004 wedding to Marc Anthony. ‘It was like I had the plague,’ Barnes told talk show host Jeff Probst. The source of the leak was eventually found and Barnes was re-hired. ‘We’re friends [now]. I went right back to work with her and we just never spoke about it again… which is even weirder. I mean, I worked another six years for her. She sat for the cover of my first book and we’re friends… she’s an amazing woman and she’s like, ‘I love you, you know,’ and I say ‘I love you too’…we’re friends.’ Photos of Lopez in London, UK below.
