Jennifer Lawrence covers Britain’s Fabulous Magazine, inside of which she explains she would rather have a house full of burglars than a house full of ghosts. Because ghosts are a**holes, I guess. Asked what scares her, she says ‘Spiders and ghosts. I actually get comforted when I feel like there might be a burglar in my house, like: ‘There’s a real person that might be breaking into my house, it’s not a ghost, that’s a relief.” The rest of the interview is below.
Jennifer Lawrence was bullied from elementary school to middle school leading her to change schools often. Explaining that being a girl with Justin Timberlake’s old hair and face, above, meant other kids wouldn’t let her be great Lawrence told The Sun newspaper: ‘I changed schools a lot when I was in elementary school because some girls were mean. They were less mean in middle school, because I was doing all right, although this one girl gave me invitations to hand out to her birthday party that I wasn’t invited to.’ But she WAS (and is) great, so she did this: ‘I just hocked a loogie on them and threw them in the trash can.’ She continues, ‘Don’t worry about the b**ches. That could be a good motto, because you come across people like that throughout your life.’
It’s Jennifer Lawrence, Oscar winner, not Jennifer Lawrence, Real Doll, in the Dior campaign she took over from gynoid Mila Kunis and wax figure Natalie Portman. At least, Jennifer Lawrence is pretty sure that’s her and not fan art drawn in MS Paint because she says she’s never seen the finished campaign photos. Asked about her Miss Dior ads on the red carpet by an Access Hollywood reporter, Lawrence replied: ‘Oh my God, I haven’t seen these. That doesn’t look like me at all! I love Photoshop more than anything in the world.’ The interviewer responded, ‘I don’t think that’s Photoshop… that’s you,’ to which Lawrence replied, ‘Of course it’s Photoshop… People don’t look like that.’
Jennifer Lawrence is correct that people are so used to pillows stuffed with lies that they don’t know what to do with honest pillows (honesty pillows?) and they’re incredulous to ones that move. Pillows stuffed with lies don’t move. She explains: ‘I think people are fascinated with breasts that bounce. They are so used to seeing [fake ones]. People are confused [that mine bounce]! My breasts have a life of their own.’ Earlier this month, she cursed mother nature for giving her uneven breasts: ‘I went to the doctor, I got a chest X-ray of my lungs and discovered that my breasts are uneven. I was like standing there with these doctors and they’re like looking at my lungs and I just couldn’t… it felt like an elephant in the room… and I was like, ‘Are my breasts uneven?’ And they were just kind of, like, stifled and uncomfortable, obviously. So I kept thinking, ‘Well, I’m gonna dig myself out of this hole by bringing it up again.’ So he was like, ‘All right, our radiologist will get back to you about your lungs.’ And I was like, ‘And my breasts?”
Jennifer Lawrence is barely an adult at 22-years-old, that’s a year younger than Taylor Swift and four years younger than Lindsay Lohan, but apparently it’s news that she was a teenager a few years ago. Moreover, that she looked like a teenager when she was a teenager. So here’s a photo of Lawrence eight years ago in the eighth grade with Justin Timberlake’s old face and hair. Below is a bonus photo of Jennifer Lawrence dressed up as 1950s Barbie for W Magazine.
Taylor Swift tried to Taylor Swift her way into Bradley Cooper’s heart while he was busy burrowing face-first into Jennifer Lawrence’s biscuit in Silver Linings Playbook (which, by the way, I gather was mis-marketed as a rom-com but I’ve watched it and it’s actually a very, very good drama). A source says that Swift implored Lawrence to set her (Swift) up with Cooper who, as it turns out, isn’t interested in 12-year-old 23-year-olds. Moreover, ‘Bradley has absolutely no intention of getting together with Taylor.’ Cooper himself sort of confirmed this yesterday when asked whether there was chemistry between himself, 38, and Lawrence, 22, to which he replied: ‘If it didn’t happen by now, it’s not gonna happen… I could literally be her father.’
As mentioned earlier, Jennifer Lawrence covers Vanity Fair Magazine February 2013 on which she has no neck and she’s eating a flower but she doesn’t have a baby in her so it’s alright. Lawrence basically gives the same interview over and over again because she’s Kristen Stewart if Kristen Stewart cared at all about being likable. And in this interview Jennifer Lawrence says Jennifer Lawrence’s job is stupid because, like, what’s the point if it’s not brain surgery?
Jennifer Lawrence covers Vanity Fair Magazine February 2013 as the ‘World’s Most Desirable Woman.’ This is the same Jennifer Lawrence who’s 80-years-old and wants nothing more than for you to get off her lawn so she can watch her stories in peace. Below is the rest of the Ellen von Unwerth photo shoot.
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