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Posts under ‘Jennifer Aniston’

Jennifer Aniston’s Food Baby Excites Tabloids

Aug 11th, 2011
by Amy Grindhouse.
1 comment

Jennifer Aniston’s possible food baby covers at least three tabloids this week, because it’s easier to convince you of things that never happened if more than one magazine recycles its own five-year-old headlines and wishes into existence a real bump. Us Weekly’s cover this week insists Aniston’s trying for a baby. And the same picture of her in that loose purple shirt is used in each magazine. As no one wears baggy, comfortable shirts except women with bumps. Except the magazine can’t decide whether she’s pregnant or not. She’s trying on the cover, and yet she’s hiding a bump on the inside of the issue. Pregnancy is an absolute, she’s either pregnant or not. She’s not kind of pregnant. Or pregnant at all, for that matter. Aniston also covers Star, who attribute a fake quote to Aniston, ‘Yes, I’m having a baby.’ The part about talking to her boyfriends’s family is true… it’s just they never discuss Aniston or go further than Justin Theroux’s life in New York. InTouch is still talking about the non-existent wedding. The wedding no one’s planning because they’re not engaged (matching rings and meeting the parents don’t mean they’re engaged). There was some horses**t about them being pre-engaged, which also never happened. So, no, ITW, no shotgun wedding.

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Jennifer Aniston Is Sad She’s Jennifer Aniston

Jul 13th, 2011
by Amy Grindhouse.
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Jennifer Aniston sounds sad about being Jennifer Aniston. I may be reading too much into her quotes from yesterday’s Inside The Actors Studio, but she’s talking about Brad Pitt again and it’s all a step away from knitting her cats booties and then matching ones for herself. There were quotes earlier in the week about how Aniston felt so sad about the Brad Pitt split she had to bad touch Justin Theroux in his sleep to make herself feel better. Well, she suggested so. I’m allowed to infer things that never happened from a sliver of information (churnalism FTW). In the same interview, she discussed her childhood and her parents’ divorce. I don’t care about that, I do care that she’s still eluding to her relationship with a man who’s since boned Angelina Jolie and become father to six children. Asked why she filmed The Break-up, quiet soon after her marital breakdown, she replied, ‘It was just a beautiful story about a couple breaking up, and I was slightly familiar on the topic and the issue. I sort of honestly felt like, what a great way to sort of exorcise some of that… I was like, ‘Why not?’ Turn the page.’

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Let’s Just Talk About The Elephant In The Room

Jun 23rd, 2011
by Amy Grindhouse.
1 comment

I wasn’t going to address this further; but, it’s in every magazine. And a reader submitted an interesting tip about this, on Facebook, so this post is for her too.

This week’s tabloids have been using harsher language than I, describing the relationship between Jennifer Aniston and Justin Theroux. The couple were assumed to have started dating when Theroux was still seeing his live-in girlfriend-of-14-years, Heidi Bivens. Neither Theroux nor Aniston have said too much about the timing of when they got together. But there did appear to be an overlap. I mean, how fast could the ex-girlfriend pack? To be fair, and since I’ve read a counter-argument, from a source in People, I’m going to point out that Theroux may have been single when he met Aniston. So, she didn’t immediately Angelina Jolie her way into his heart. She waited a week, and then Angelina Jolied her way into his pants. ‘I know people are saying Jen broke them up, but they had been on-and-off for years,’ said a source for Theroux. A source for Aniston adds, ‘Jen would never hook up with a guy who has a girlfriend. [She is] very happy with Justin. He’s a great guy.’ People also notes that they’re not yet living together; countering recent reports that they’re doing the bi-coastal thing.

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Jennifer Aniston Is Officially Angelina Jolie Now

Jun 22nd, 2011
by Amy Grindhouse.
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Jennifer Aniston and Justin Theroux were photographed and their souls stolen by Uncle Terry’s molester lens. This photo shows the couple, made possible by Theroux leaving his live-in girlfriend-of-14-years, Heidi Bivens, posing and snuggling. Richardson took the photos of the couple, with whom he had dinner, yesterday evening, and posted it to his Tumblr. I haven’t been posting much about this couple, in spite of the attention they’ve been getting. I’ve mostly been linking out to stories about them while sighing loudly about Aniston’s lack of grace and respect for Bivens. Aniston’s yet to give much of a response to reports of being a homewrecker. It takes two. Theroux’s not talking either. But after the way Aniston played the martyr after Brad Pitt left, she should at least be subtle about all this. Reportedly, the couple has been spending a lot of time together, wearing matching rings and watches, and may even have plans to live together. The relationship is rushed and ridiculous. And telling about Aniston’s character.

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Justin Theroux Should Totally Fear For His Life

Jun 7th, 2011
by Amy Grindhouse.
3 comments

This is what happens shortly after you allow Jennifer Aniston to touch your bumps, she thinks they’re hers forever and she gets her cats a sitter in order to watch your a$$ all the waking hours of the day. This is a photo of the last time Justin Theroux was seen alive, during an MTV Movie Awards after party. I kid, he’s still alive. Aniston’s cats need a father. It had been rumoured the pair were a couple after they were seen leaving an eatery together. Following that, they were seen at this after party, hosted by Jason Sudeikis; Aniston and Theroux were reportedly kissing, smiling, rubbing each others’ faces and necks and being pretty intimate. It’s probably in its early stages. But, in Aniston’s head, Mr Wiggles is being fitted for a best man suit and Mr Snuggles is the ring bearer. Yes, I’m about to call the authorities and animal control (she’s an animal hoarder).

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Jennifer Aniston Fellates A Banana For Trailer

May 13th, 2011
by Amy Grindhouse.
2 comments

Below is the movie trailer for the hit-and-miss comedy Horrible Bosses. I don’t know what to think of the promo; it’s puerile and goes for the easy laughs before degenerating into a half-naked Jennifer Aniston fellating phallic pieces of food. It co-stars Kevin Spacey, Colin Farrell, Charlie Day, Jamie Foxx, Jason Sudeikis, and Jason Bateman (whose name I have to say out loud as I type B-A-T-E-M-A-N and not B-A-T-M-A-N). It’s a big bundle of ‘…the f**k am I watching?’, it’s got the thinnest of plots, and Aniston’s worthwhile scenes are probably all in the two-minute trailer. There are rumours of additional Aniston nude or topless scenes. However, no one can seem to agree whether the 42-year-old’s naked at all. ‘She shot a topless scene, but produces aren’t sure if they’ll use it,’ a production assistant told Us Weekly. ‘They filmed it two ways; [in] one, you see Jen’s face and boobs in the same shot, in another the audience might think it’s a body double… She knows she can’t show off her boobs forever, so she’s going out with a bang.’ A second source disputed the rumours (which probably meant the ‘nude/ topless’ reports were planted to generate hype for an otherwise uneventful movie), ‘She may appear nude, but you do not see Jennifer topless.’

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