January Jones suddenly loves the same paparazzi that I’m pretty sure she hated this time last year. Jones now claims that the paparazzi are the only free security detail a girl ever needs, because no self-respecting woman should take accountability for her safety by hiring/ using real security. ‘They’re always taking pictures while I’m walking my dog and shopping, which I can’t imagine is very interesting,’ she said. ‘The weird thing is, it kind of makes me feel safe. I live alone and I feel like they’re always there, always watching… If someone were to come in and rob me, there are photographers. It’s like the best security system ever.’ I think she’s missing that part about them following her wherever she goes and if she’s not at home when it’s robbed the paparazzi aren’t going to be either. Moreover, isn’t this like saying you feel safe because your stalker’s there like your shadow wherever you go. ‘It’s fine if I’m murdered in the park on my way home, my stalker has cat-like reflexes teamed with amazing note-taking abilities… there’s no getting anything past him, he’ll blow that case wide open.’
Posts under ‘January Jones’
It’s being claimed that the man who knocked-up January Jones on the set of X-Men: First Class is married. At first, some assumed Jason Sudeikis was the father; however, the baby’s not due until Fall and they split in January and sources close to Sudeikis claim if he were the father he’d take responsibility.
Soon after, every guy Jones had slept with in the past year was named as the father. There were so many names because she’s the kind of girl who got caught in a gin-soaked Walk Of Shame the morning after. Once those guys were crossed off too, it was claimed she got pregnant by someone working on X-Men: First Class. Moreover, it was an affair said to have taken place on set. So, the easiest way to start crossing more names off the ‘This List Is Really Long List’ is Googling the IMDb for the movie. TheDaily.com is claiming, specifically, that a married man fathered the baby; that’s why Jones won’t name the father and that’s why Sudeikis clammed up when asked for a comment by The Washington Post. The Daily offer no proof, but this is hilarious and scandalous enough for me to believe. The name of the father will come out eventually, it’s kind of impossible to keep this stuff secret. And it’s unlikely everyone on set was down with watching an extramarital affair. Someone will rat on the father sooner or later.
January Jones covers the June issue of Allure. The actress has been doing a bunch of photo shoots in the run-up to the new X-Men movie. I think her breasts were hired as some kind of insurance policy. With the second-cheapest costuming since Dollar Store Wonder Woman ™, they’ve basically got Jones as a Mighty Morphin’ Victoria’s Secret Model. I think it’ll do well still: it’s got a passable cast and hero movies are making a comeback with Thor doing big things at the box office. Below is one of the many underwhelming shoots Jones posed for before her pregnancy started to show. I see no baby bump in her Allure editorial, so whichever of the X-Men crew knocked her up only did so weeks beforehand. The hair and make-up add 10 years to a usually youthful face and the clothing choices are uninspiring too. Jones seems to be wearing a bunch of navy swimsuity things and it’s all rather middle-aged, better suited to someone in their 50s. There rest of the shoot and her interview excerpts below. She talks about one of the men rumoured to be her baby’s father and why she’s never been on Maury Povich.
- KHLOE K LOSING TOO MUCH WEIGHT? - Fishwrapper
- Jennifer Aniston Needs To Wear Bras - Lainey Gossip
- Eva Longoria Accidentally Flashed Her Goods - TooFab
- Jennifer Aniston Strips: Shocking Video - Fishwrapper
- Miley Cyrus Is Posing Almost Naked - Hollywood PQ
- KIM K CRYING OVER PREGNANCY!!! - TooFab
- Truth About Cheating Kristen Stewart - Lainey Gossip
- Amanda Bynes: Where Did It Go Wrong? - TooFab
I forgot January Jones is pregnant. So, I’d stopped staring at her womb and started staring at the womb of Scarlett Johansson, in hopes Sean Penn put a baby in there. But, Jones is knocked-up. In the break before Mad Men. But during her promotion for X-Men: 90210 (I’m calling it that). These candids from the weekend went overlooked because of the royal wedding, but I’m posting them anyway. Because, short of trying to work out how much gas she’s holding in, there’s nothing more fun than staring at the stomach of a pregnant stranger to work out the size of her baby thing. My guess is four peanuts-wide. No, five. FIVE! Is it too late to change my answer? Jones confirmed her pregnancy to People.com, completely neglecting to mention the name of the father. Leading people to speculate it’s one of a number of guys she’s dated. It’s a guy who wants nothing to do with her or the baby, in all likelihood. Or else, Jason Sudeikis or whomever would have issued a passive-aggressive statement saying ‘Though they’re not together, Jason Sudeikis and January Jones are having a baby.’
January Jones was OOPSed with an immaculate conception. ‘Immaculate’ in so far as God’s way of compensating you for endless royal wedding news is the promise that Jones’ breasts are going to get bigger. In news that was only just confirmed, the Mad Men and X-Men: First Class actress told People.com that she’s going to be a mother. Because, as Natalie Portman and Kate Hudson have taught us, movies don’t promote themselves and baby things are the best positive PR there is. Moreover, I’m going to assume these women are getting pregnant in accordance with their work schedules to make sure there’s something to talk about outside of their dreary movies. The statement given by Jones is matter-of-fact, saying simply, ‘January Jones is happy to announce that she is expecting her first child this Fall.’ Probably because, Benicio del Toro and Kimberly Stewart-style, the conception process involved a walk-of-shame in last night’s outfit. She literally doesn’t even address the name of her baby’s father. Just the due date. The only other details are from People’s source, who adds, ‘She’s really looking forward to this new chapter in her life as a single mom.’
These photos are from April 26, 2011, with a pregnant Jones hiding her baby bump. She doesn’t look far along, she’s probably only in her second trimester.
I’m so glad that holding in that fart, adding in suitable amounts of clenching, and simultaneously lighting seventeen cigarettes, scored January Jones the role of Betty Draper. If she’d walked into her Mad Men audition and read without holding in some bodily function or another, she may have scored the part that instead went to a $cientologist with bangs trauma. Jones covers the May 2011 issue of W, as part of the promotion for her movie. Not promotion for Mad Men, as that’s not back on screens until 2012 (not that I can say I’m bothered, I became despondent toward the show to the point of not caring by end of last season). Well, Jones’ cover is above; complete with harsh hair and what I’m picking up as 80′s styling. She’s in a bathing suit for one cover. And she’s allowing a jacket to fall from her shoulder in another, because it is that urgent to show an indistinct black tube top thing underneath. Anyway, in her interview, she speaks about competing for the part of Peggy Olson against Elisabeth Moss.