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Posts under ‘Heidi Montag’

Heidi Montag Wants to be an Actress and Mogul

Mar 26th, 2010
by Amy Grindhouse.
3 comments

Heidi Montag’s level of delusion is directly proportional to her boob size; she has inflated her chest some way from its flat beginnings, and so one could guess that she’s pretty far gone. Montag’s level of talent was also directly proportional to her chin size; with it filed down to a shadow of its former self, we are left with someone who should just beat fate to the punch and turn to porn 15-years early.

She told People, “I’m so excited The Hills is finally over and I can now become a full time motion picture actress. There is no better training [for an actor] than being in front of the cameras 24-7. I’m now finally free to start my career and my new life as female mogul in Hollywood!”

Pictures below show The Hills stars Heidi Montag, Audrina Patridge, and Kristin Cavallari, film scenes for the show as they dined in Beverly Hills, CA on March 17.

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Heidi Montag Missed a Spot: Cellulite Picture

Mar 18th, 2010
by Amy Grindhouse.
14 comments

Heidi Montag got ten procedures in one day and had bits of herself inflated, filed down, and sucked out. From this photo, from a larger set showing her filming her cameo in Jennifer Aniston’s new movie, Just Go With It, it seems her doctor missed a spot. The reality star was seen wearing cut-offs, kind of in the style of Daisy Dukes. Whatever those shorts were, they were hideous and her booty was hanging out. After all the work she had done, remembering that her list of procedures included lipo, she should be carved out of marble. However, she looks like she’s made out of pudding from the waist down. Mmm.. pudding.

Heidi Montag Looks Melty Even from Far Away

Mar 16th, 2010
by Amy Grindhouse.
2 comments

Heidi Montag and beardy husband Spencer Pratt can be seen in these photos, as Montag gets ready to shoot her movie cameo for the film Just Go With It, at El Matador Beach in Malibu, Calif.. The couple were surrounded by the cameras and the usual smoke and mirrors. Weird thing is, Montag’s newly sculpted face looks all melty-melty even when shot from this far away. The photos were taken from what looks like a couple of hundred yards away, zoomed in. And yet I can still tell that at least one side of Montag’s face is dripping and the other side is puffy.

12 pics of Heidi Montag as she filmed a cameo, at El Matador Beach in Malibu, CA. The movie, Just Go With It, also stars Nicole Kidman and Jennifer Aniston.

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Heidi Montag V3.0 Walking the Red Carpet

Feb 15th, 2010
by Amy Grindhouse.
4 comments

Heidi Montag has already thrilled us all, with the revelation that she is not done jacking up her face. She walked the red carpet at Las Vegas’ Pure Nightclub, this weekend, at a party she hosted with husband Spencer Pratt. She is able to walk the red carpet as she is yet to really mutilate her legs in the same way as she has done her face. Perhaps if she ever does something dumb like getting knee surgery or toe re-shaping surgery (a real thing), then she’ll be less able to strutt her stuff. Seriously though, she looks like a freakin’ monster. Such a shame.

Her face kind of looks like it’s in the process of melting from all the hot camera lights. That’s not to mention that her boobs are soon-to-be big as her head, if she continues with surgery. I was so distracted by her humongous breasticles that I almost didn’t notice a unicorn vomited glitter all over her legs like she was a 12-year-old MySpace fangirl. The mangled face, cheap jewellery, and budget hooch dress I can almost cope with. But glitter abuse is not to be taken lightly.

More, scary XXL photos of Heidi Montag’s plastic surgeries on the red carpet.

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Heidi Montag Is Not Done Mutilating Herself…

Feb 15th, 2010
by Amy Grindhouse.
12 comments

First things first. When I skim-read my own title, I thought I’d Freudian-slipped something in there about masturbation. Upon a second, slower reading of my very short post title… it seems that’s not the case. Phew. Where was I? Oh yeah.

Heidi Montag wants to jack up her face sommore, because her second round of surgeries didn’t quite screw up her formerly-pretty face enough. Montag tells Access Hollywood, as she tells anyone with a camera who will listen, that she has parts of her body that require further improvements and maintenance, in her words. At this point she can’t have that much surface-area left that has not seen a surgeon’s scalpel, after having ten surgeries on November 20, 2009.

[Heidi Montag has more plastic surgery ahead of her, according to People] “I love my boobs but I still want to improve. I didn’t get them as big as I originally wanted.” Heidi said she didn’t have anything scheduled at the moment, with more work to come “eventually… for maintenance”. The star added that she’s pleased with her recent work, which made headlines when she debuted her new look on a People cover. [Access Hollywood]

Heidi Montag Surgeries Meant Lots of Hate Mail

Jan 28th, 2010
by Amy Grindhouse.
2 comments

Heidi Montag’s frozen face and balloon chesticles cover the new issue of Life & Style. If you buy the magazine you may wanna stop at the horrors the cover has to offer, as she just plain vomits all over the inside. If you open the new issue all that’s there is a bunch of verbal diarrhea. Trust me, spare yourself the grief.

Montag told Life & Style admitting she is a vapid whore inspired her fans to learn to sharpen their crayons, write, and then send her hate mail. She angered a lot of people who agree that much surgery by the age of 23 is pointless, especially when it makes you look both worse and well over-a-decade older.

[Feel free to ignore comments about Heidi's pretend belief in God] Heidi and hubby Spencer sat holed up in their Pacific Palisades home, in shock over the hate mail the 23-year-old had been getting about her extreme makeover. “Spencer ordered about seven bunches of flowers to cheer up Heidi because she’d received a letter or an e-mail saying that her plastic surgery was against God’s will,” a neighbor of the couple tells Life & Style. “Heidi’s apparently very spiritual, so this kind of criticism really stings.”

Image credit to Life & Style mag. Story Life & Style mag., Anything Hollywood.

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