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Posts under ‘Fashion’

The Police Were Picking On Christina Aguilera?

The leak of the Beyonce and Christina Aguilera W covers gave most of the game away. We’ve already seen the entire photo editorial. So, all that’s left, along with the official release of the photos, is the interview. And it’s below. Aguilera seems interesting and probably smarter than she’s given credit for. However, she’s another person who’s asked about the same two or three things and so she ends up coming off one-note. In this case, as we could have predicted, she’s asked about the troubled childhood she packed to sell her Stripped album and she’s asked about recent legal troubles and the Super Bowl/ Grammys screw ups. She pretty much repeats stories already told on Ellen and in other interviews. It’s like it’s February all over again.  Oh, and she was targeted by meany popos during her March arrest, because she’s famous. Noting that police expected her to be a drunken troublemaker, she quips, ‘I think they were bored that night.’

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Nicole Scherzinger Wore It Too… Make It Stop

PLEASE! If I ask nicely and give you a shoulder rub that inexplicably concludes with a happy ending, will you please take all of these outfits and nuke them from space? Only days ago, Kim Kardashian wore some variation of this colour scheme to the London release of Semen In A Bottle ™. The day before that, Jessica Alba wore the exact same colour scheme. As did Cheryl Cole not even four weeks before them. I’d assumed Kardashian’s butt had extinguished the flames of this fire. Seems not. It’s still a monstrosity and these women make it look laughably hard to pull off. Remembering the gold, but forgetting her turquoise accent, here’s replacement Cheryl Cole on American X Factor, Nicole Scherzinger. This is probably a passive-aggressive swipe, as Scherzinger sits in Cole’s still-warm seat. As if to say, ‘This was still hanging in your dressing room closet when you left.’

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Dakota Fanning Is Trying To Sell Me Something

Dakota Fanning’s warmed crotch is trying to sell me Thigh Sweat ™. Whatever’s in that bottle, I’m pretty sure it smells better than Sperm In A Bottle ™ by Kim Kardashian. Here’s Fanning’s advert for Oh, Lola! by Marc Jacobs; a name they’re using literally, as part of their marketing strategy. Yes, really, ‘We recolored the bottle and changed the juice [...] This Lola is more of a Lolita than a Lola, but we weren’t going to call the fragrance Lolita. Lola is more seductive; Oh, Lola is sensual, but she’s sweeter.’ I’m always suspicious when body parts do the selling. The same way Jennifer Aniston’s breasts can’t sell me Smart Water, Fanning’s thighs can’t sell me a fragrance. I’m slightly more sold by the water. At least it’ll make my brain and my breasts larger. Oh, and, it’s a Fragrance For Women promoted by a 17-year-old. Suck on that, while you’re rotting in big boy prison.

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Oh, Look, Christina Aguilera Is Naked For W

W in July will be a choice of Beyonce or Christina Aguilera (it’s hard to tell, but I’m fairly sure). With Aguilera’s cover, they’re throwing in a newsstand butt shot for free. It’s like a twofer, but with more butt. Beyonce lent on the right side of classy. Aguilera’s naked for her cover, so I don’t know what to think. She’s covering her bumps with her hair and some roses. And she’s staring into the light, of which Tyra Banks would not approve. Aguilera’s shoot is either half-a-year old or they airbrushed the last few beers away. I don’t think she’s heavy now, to be clear. But that doesn’t mean she looks like she does in this editorial. She’s styled like herself from her Stripped album. With some feel of her Keeps Getting Better: Decade Of Hits looks and that was three years ago. But, I guess this shoot was the reason for that weird blow-out last month. This is a Twitter leak of the cover, and the rest of the scans are below. The whole interview was leaked too, sort of, but I can’t make out the text in these scans. I can see her mugshot and so they’re going to ask about her arrest and release and her worsening booze lust.

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Emma Watson Covers American Vogue July 2011

Emma Watson has been giving lots of samey interviews and doing press as the end of her franchise approaches. For the most part, we just get an elaboration of why she really left Brown. And a few samey photos. The 21-year-old’s styled a little differently for Vogue and so at least there’s something to look at. Photos show Watson with slicked hair and a darker lip and eye than we’re used to seeing. She kind of looks like the emo cross-dressing boy version of Emma Watson, who’s doing an impression of a Superman villain in one of the photos. But, you know, cuter. See below for more of the plastics and metallics-heavy styling in this Mario Testino shoot, for which Watson is wearing Prada Fall/Winter 2011 on the cover.

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Alexander Skarsgard In The July Issue Of Vogue

Alexander Skarsgard and Lara Stone are in the July issue of Vogue Magazine, for which Emma Watson is on the cover. The photo shoot’s pretty unremarkable, but so is this month’s American cover, so the expectations were never that high. We can see the True Blood actor, whose show needs to come back on air already, and the model married to British comedian David Walliams. It’s one of those random shoots of pretty people in monochromes staring into the light as you ponder how to lift the items they’re wearing without ending up on house arrest. But it’s worth an honorable mention, if solely for its use of Prop Skarsgard ™.

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