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Posts under ‘Fail’

Capri Anderson in Charlie Sheen Porn Spoof


Capri Anderson Charlie Sheen erotic spoof Funny or Die video in which she hooks.

Capri Anderson only owns one bra. She wore it for the Girls Gone Wild video and this video about her time hooking for Charlie Sheen. Two things I should probably point out; first, Capri Anderson, real name Christina Walsh, stars in this video as a spoof; second, it was filmed before she and Sheen went on some kind of weird bender where she became locked in his hotel bathroom. The clip, in which Anderson enters from one minute in, shows her as a prostitute desite that being a bone of contention. She’s a porn star and flashing her girl junk on Girls Gone Wild one moment. Then allegedly charging $12,000 more than a wasted Sheen wants to pay the next. As though charging for sex without the aid of a steadicam is so much better. According to Gawker, ‘The goal is to show the world what it’s like to be Charlie Sheen, only without the cocaine-snorting, hotel-trashing violence’. Filmmaker Renato Carravaggio told the NYDN he filmed the video in July this year, before alleged hooker and her John ever even met. No one can find any proof to the contrary. The timing is supported by multiple reports about the hotel-trashing caused by Sheen’s allergies to something other than cocaine.

Audrina Patridge’s Mother Sorry for Drunk Rant


Video of Audrina Patridge’s mother Lynn in a drunken rant after dinner at Beso.

Audrina Patridge’s drunken mother is sorry. Specifically, with a lot to be sorry for, she apologises for getting wasted at Tuesday dinner with her daughter, in LA. During which time she was interviewed by Hollywood.TV. Speaking to the video agency, she dropped drunken F-bomb after drunken F-bomb. As seen in the NSFW video above. Hollywood.TV went pretty easy on her, considering how easy it would have been to take advantage and get more juicy gossip from her. A friend tried to step in and stop the madness… but to no avail. Mother Patridge, Lynn, spoke about her daughter’s star power and then cursed out Lauren Conrad.

She later said sorry. ‘I am sincerely sorry for the negative things I said in the heat of the moment. As a mother there is no pain in this world like seeing your children upset. I’m so proud of my daughter and all she accomplished on Dancing with the Stars. I was extremely emotional after her elimination, it just came as such a shock. I want to apologize for offending anyone,’ said her statement.

Magazine Denies Photoshopping Justin Bieber

Brazilian magazine Todateen Star has been in the press over the past week for this crappy cover, for which it would seem make-up has been added to the face of Justin Bieber. The already fairly androgynous-looking teenager, Justin Bieber; someone who went to the effort of dedicating an entire page of his autobiography to vagina, in order to prove he liked them. Because that’s how proof works in courts of law. Being confused with a lesbian almost old enough to be his mother wasn’t enough of a slap in the face; now, he’s being digitally made-up by low-budget kiddy mags. Allegedly. Despite it being fairly obvious that the cover has been altered in some way, as even Bieber doesn’t sparkle that much on his own, Todateen Star denies that they altered the photo. In reaction to people’s comments about the budget airbrushing, they released this statement. Translated from Portuguese, the national language, it reads as follows.

We could not help noticing your comments and tweets from the picture of Justin on the cover of Star Todateen. We would like to say that there was no change made in the area of the singer’s eyes. We had a technical problem that darkens certain areas of the photo. We also want to say that all of us find Justin very naturally beautiful. We’d never think it’s necessary to alter pictures of him. Natural beauty says it all, right?

Justin Bieber is Protesting a Little Too Much

Justin Bieber is maybe not protesting too much. Nor trying too hard to convince people that he has always been drawn to those without boy junk. We’ve previously seen two pages from Bieber’s book, in which he credits God for his ‘success’. Now, we see the 16-year-old broach the jointly uncomfortable subjects of puberty-onset and noticing girls for the first time. More specifically, growing one’s first chest hair and using it to impress girls. And, asking one’s mother how to talk to girls (if said chest hair is insufficient in getting girls’ attentions). Over several pages, we see Bieber talk about what I can only assume is the previous 12 months of his life. He actually has an entire page saying ‘I really like… girls’, over and over. And a picture of himself on tour sitting in a giant heart. Wow.

Pages From Justin Bieber’s New Autobiography

This was always going to be good, and the single biggest waste of paper to hit the literary world since The Situation learned how to read and penned his own tome. Justin Bieber released an autobiography, earlier this month, and already it ranks number one on several Amazon book charts. It’s the shortest book ever, that one could assume contains nothing but tales of Xbox and penis doodles. Okay, I’m joking about the penis doodles. But, as you can see from the above, we do get details of the teenager’s gaming habits. I’m going to assume that only 12-year-old girls would want to read the pamphlet that is the autobiography of a 16-year-old. Should there be anyone older who wishes to buy this crap, or his My World fragrance (infused in wristbands for girls and dog tags for boys), or his nail polish, or his planned doll line, or his Unplugged Acoustic album or any of the crap being sold at Walmart on Black Friday, feel free to mail me the beer in your fridge before you blow your brains out; we wouldn’t want it to go to waste.

Image credit to Gawker. Story Gawker and Rolling Stone magazine.

Uma Thurman Has White Powder on Her Nose

And on her forehead. And on her chin. And on her cheeks… and round her eyes, neck and even her ears. HER EARS. Poor thing. She seems to have no idea. Uma Thurman can be seen in these pictures attending and speaking at a gala event for the Feminist Press at the City University of New York on Monday night. In the glare of the flash bulb, and from every angle, Thurman was revealed to have white powder make-up all over her face. A commenter at Gawker has a similar, month’s old, story about witnessing the 40-year-old actress ‘vigorously applying powder with a brush to her face’ trying to calm a ‘shine problem’. I guess it’s a habit. I couldn’t stop staring at these, wide-eyed. Not least because literally the same make-up mishap happened to Nicole Kidman at the premiere of Nine in December. It looked a hot mess then and it looks a hot mess on Thurman now.

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