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Posts under ‘Fail’

Bristol Palin Needed Surgery That Changed Look

May 11th, 2011
by Amy Grindhouse.
4 comments

Bristol Palin has admitted to ordering her 2.0 face on eBay along with a 70′s Star Wars action figure (still in the packet) and a Hello Kitty lunchbox. We already knew that 20-year-old Palin used money that would have been better spent getting an education on plastic surgery. It was rumoured she’d had a nose job, chin implant, and more.’ She’s admitting none of that, instead saying simply, ‘I had corrective jaw surgery.’ She may as well have admitted to correcting a deviated septum. ‘Yes,’ she tells Us Weekly, ‘It improved the way I look, but this surgery was necessary for medical reasons… so my jaw and teeth could properly realign… I don’t obsess over my face. I am absolutely thrilled with the results. I look older, more mature, and don’t have as much of a chubby little baby face.’

Palin further explained she wore braces and a device to correct an overbite as a child, but her dentist informed her she’d need surgery one day so her jaw and teeth would align. ‘I wouldn’t get plastic surgery unless I got in an accident or something terrible and got disfigured,’ she added, sounding no more convincing. She had 20 years to get surgery, yet waited until shortly before her reality show.

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The Situation’s Father Is A Decent Human Being

May 11th, 2011
by Amy Grindhouse.
No comments yet

The father of Mike ‘The Situation’ Sorrentino is being kind of a sell-out jerk and embarrassing his son on the Internet. Because that’s the go-to of old people when they’ve been slighted by the young; that ‘Webs’ place they’re always talking about. Late yesterday, Frank Sorrentino released a video saying his son abandoned their family since becoming famous and earning $5,000,000 from fees and endorsements a year. I sense butthurt at not seeing enough of that money, but that’s not based on anything. What we do know is Frank Sorrentino likes to make videos, really degrading videos. He released a second video later Tuesday evening, claiming The Situation got fired from a job because he was caught getting head from a 40-year-old co-worker. There’s no proof of his allegations.

Uma Thurman Stars In Awful Print Adverts Too

May 6th, 2011
by Amy Grindhouse.
2 comments

Last week, the Internet screamed a collective ‘…The f**k is this?’ at their screens in response to Uma Thurman’s Schweppes commercial. The French promo showed Thurman as though drunk and sex-starved. It’s below as a reminder for anyone who missed it and yet won’t miss those 66 seconds of their life. Now there are two print adverts too. For the above print advert, I kind of feel like the Busta Rhymes/ Janet Jackson What’s It Gonna Be video threw up props bought with coke money. There’s a second advert below which looks like it was taken in a grocery store, except she’s standing on a bed. Which doesn’t make any sense either. I don’t like them. Even though both were shot by David LaChapelle and I usually like his work. On the upside, drinking Schweppes seems to have the same effect as drinking a bottle of Sudafed. And I’m pretty sure Schweppes is cheaper.

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Bristol Palin Bought This With Her DWTS Money?

May 6th, 2011
by Amy Grindhouse.
4 comments

Bristol Palin has been spending her Dancing With The Stars money. Instead of using the entire paycheck for her kid’s college fund or something, she Teen Mom/ 16 & Pregnant‘d away the money. And by that I mean she used the money on frivolous, drastic cosmetic surgery even though she’s only 20. Last Fall, Levi Johnston’s sister accused Palin of having liposuction and a breast-reduction. Palin also seems to have had work done on her face. Commenters at Gawker.com offer up a few convincing theories that Palin had ‘Lipo and a chin implant,’ a ‘nose job,’ ‘[she lost weight and got] lipo around the neck and lower face, chin implant, lip filler,’ and maybe an ‘eye lift.’ Another commenter suggests a specific procedure, costing around $3,000, ‘Buchal fat pad removal: We have these grape to worm size pieces of fat in our faces that can easily be sucked out through the mouth. This is the very hot, yet secret procedure to show your cheek bones and thin your face 5-10 pounds.’ Whatever she’s had done to her face, she’s not easily recognisable as the same person. And, if these weren’t labelled, I may not have realised these were of Palin. She was thinner in 2009 and didn’t suddenly look like this, so it’s unlikely the re-shaping of her 2.0 face is weight loss alone. Moreover, full-length photos show she hasn’t lost weight from her body. It’s more likely several procedures. I think there’s a brow lift of some kind in there too because her 2.0 eyebrows are half-an-inch higher on her forehead.

The ’2011′ shots of Palin wearing a one-sleeve dress are from a New York event on May 4. The white two-sleeve sequin dress was shot May 1 in Washington, DC.

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LeAnn Rimes Was Never Taught Not To Cheat

Apr 22nd, 2011
by Amy Grindhouse.
31 comments

Giving possibly the world’s thinnest argument for helping break up a family, because she ‘Luffed heem,’ LeAnn Rimes reveals her thought process during the time of her and Eddie Cibrian’s cheating scandals (note: Ugly Betty’s replaying over here and it’s around the part where Hilda, Betty’s sister, decides to stay with Cibrian’s character even after she finds out he’s married… the universe is totally mocking him). In the latest self-serving interview, showing a near sociopathic lack of empathy, and an even more alarming lack of self-awareness, Rimes talks about cheating because she was never taught not too. I’m actually not even putting words in her mouth. Her excuse for cheating on her ex-husband was that she didn’t ‘have the tools to end a relationship.’ As though someone needs to teach you that basic a level of respect for yourself and others. ‘I know I didn’t do it the right way,’ Rimes says in Backstory: LeAnn Rimes, a new special airing Sunday on the Great American Country channel. ‘I didn’t have the tools to know how to do it the right way, how to let go the right way,’ she explained. ‘I’d never been taught that.’ I’m raging on the inside. And it only gets worse. She felt ‘abandoned’ during the media s**tstorm that followed; abandonment issues being her go-to emotion, in a divorce, following that of her parents in 1997. Because, turns out, the jilted ex-husband doesn’t stay so supportive once you start leasing out your vagina to third parties (no, Dean Sheremet didn’t get back his security deposit). ‘I think I felt really abandoned… I think ‘abandoned’ is a really good word… because of a divorce,’ Rimes said. ‘Not only that,’ she added, ‘the divorce became so much bigger because it was publicized.’ Video below , she concludes with one loud ‘It’s all about MEEE and mah feeeeeluns because I luffed heem.’

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Cam Gigandet Dun Broke His Hurrrrrdo!!!!!!!!!

Apr 6th, 2011
by Amy Grindhouse.
No comments yet

I’m not usually one to treat exclamation points like they’re the key to better faps, but in this case I thought I’d make an exception. The only reason I can easily put a face to this guy’s name is the abomination against cinema that was Burlesque; hardly his first movie (or television show for that matter), of course, but it’s the most recent thing I’ve seen him in… after watching with the same morbid curiosity that led me to watch Showgirls, Jennifer’s Body, and Sex &  The City 2. In the movie, he’s passable at worst. He’s shirtless a lot, so his slightly off-side face is less of an issue. I mean, he’s got abs or whatever, so I was less bothered by his molester forehead. In any case, Gigandet, 28, did this to his hair. I’m guessing of his own free will. He debuted the longer, blond hair at WonderCon in San Francisco on Friday, and for some reason I’m only just seeing this mess now. ‘It was just for fun,’ Gigandet told MTV News of his makeover. ‘I just needed something different.’ Because someone needed to be blamed, and roundly spanked, for crimes against bleach, he added, ‘My sister does hair and she’s great at it, but this is the first I’ve ever trusted her to do something.’

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