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Posts under ‘Fail’

Zoe Saldana Wants to Pee While Standing Up

Apr 20th, 2010
by Amy Grindhouse.
3 comments

Zoe Saldana over-shares, in hopes she’ll finally be seen as interesting. A little while back she was spreading rumours about her family thinking she was a lesbian. Because apparently it’s 1995, and anyone other than her momma cares who she’s sleeping with. She persists with the fail rumours, and has started another in which she has a penis. Excuse me, that’s not entirely accurate… she said that she wants to have a penis. I know y’all are thinking I lost my mind with my posts today… well, I have… but the above is pretty much what she said.

Zoe Saldana [...] wants to be reincarnated sans her female assets. “I would come back as a man,” she told Pop Tarts at the premiere of her latest comedy Death at a Funeral in Los Angeles. “I want to know what it is like to take a leak standing up. It blows my mind.” Saldana wouldn’t mind being Michael Jackson (during his Beat It period) and if she had to be a lady, it would be Cher post-marriage to Sonny Bono.  [Fox News]

She wants one of those things that looks like a vibrator/ to pee standing up *shrugs*. She should just buy a vibrator and use one of those SheWee things.

Pictures show everything except Saldana’s strap-on, as she attends the world premiere of Death at The Funeral in Hollywood, California on April 12th, 2010.

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Jersey Shore Cast Looking Like Greasy Chavs

Apr 20th, 2010
by Amy Grindhouse.
2 comments

I would be more loathe to write about this bunch of degenerate reprobates, but it gives me a chance to chide them. I can’t stand having to Windex my screen every time I look at pictures of the cast of MTV’s Jersey Shore. However, their greasiness is less annoying than their clothing. Yeah, WAY less. They’ve clearly been rummaging around in the Goodwill bins again, someone call the popo!

How many items of mis-matched clothing does one need to wear? I’m half-blind from editing the fug in these images, so it’s up to you to do the actual counting.

Pics show JWoww, Michael Sorrentino, and Snooki in Miami, Fl on April 19, 2010.

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Kim Kardashian Did Not Mishandle This Puss

Apr 20th, 2010
by Amy Grindhouse.
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Kim Kardashian took a picture of this puss, and posted the picture on Twitter. The reality star got a bunch of negative feedback from her own fans, and from PETA, all of whom were peeved that she aggressively mishandled her kitty. She responded… finally… to the negative comments, by writing on her blog.

Hey guys! So yesterday I was doing a photo shoot with an adorable black kitty cat and I Twitpic’d this picture… I have been getting negative comments regarding the way I was holding the kitty, but rest assured, the owner and vet were on set and showed me how to pick him up. The cat was not harmed in any way and is perfectly fine! I love animals and would never do anything to harm any animals. [Kim Kardashian's Official Blog]

She was only playing, and had two people show her how to pick up the kitty. She wasn’t hurting it, nor conjuring up mental images to do with masturbation. Oh, this post was nearly called Kim Kardashian Does Subtle Masturbation Metaphors.

LINKS FROM AROUND THE WEB
 

Kardashian Sisters Writing a Relationship Book

Apr 19th, 2010
by Amy Grindhouse.
6 comments

The Kardashian sisters are writing a book. Rather than writing about what they know, like boys or slathering mayonnaise on their vajays, they’re going to be advising on relationships. No idea why they’re focusing on that, and not doing a book with a bunch of nude pictures. The latter would sell better, and no one would have to pretend they bought a Kardashian book for the articles.

The Kardashians are writing the book on relationships. Sisters Kourtney, Kim, and Khloe Kardashian are teaming up to write a “super-candid” book about their lives and loves, including “tips and stories,” as well as dating advice. Kim says, “My sisters and I are writing a book. It’s going to (have) lots of fun tips and stories and everything about relationships; it’s a little bit more of an in-depth look into our lives, even though people think that they’ve probably seen everything. We’re just being super-candid and sharing lots of pictures and fun stuff.” [Pop Crunch]

The divorcee, the girl who rushed down the aisle, and the girl who got knocked up by accident would like to teach you about your relationship. You’ll also learn, in depth, what the heck they were thinking when they made those decisions.

Pics show Kim Kardashian in different outfits in Sydney, Australia April 18, 2010.

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Eddie Cibrian Was Heckled at the ACM Awards

Apr 19th, 2010
by Amy Grindhouse.
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Cheaters Eddie Cibrian and LeAnn Rimes walked shamelessly hand-in-hand down the orange carpet at the Sunday April 18, 2010 Academy of Country Music Awards. They smiled for the cameras; especially Rimes, who smiled the smile of someone who’d banged your husband. The couple have been together for a year and the way in which they got together seems largely forgotten. People aren’t even calling Rimes a filthy homewrecker anymore, which must be nice. However, it seems the people at the ACM Awards are less forgiving. Thankfully. I have a pretty low opinion of cheaters, but I dislike tacky bishes even more. If it wasn’t bad enough cheating in both marriages brought them together, Cibrian in particular was extra tacky and flaunted his mistress and he introduced her to his kids early on. Yeah, totally, the tackiness bothers me more. The occupants of the ACM Awards press room hate their tacky asses too. When Cibrian presented an award to Lady Antebellum the people in the press room yelled, “Cheater!”

Pics show Leann Rimes, Eddie Cibrian shopping in Malibu, CA on April 14, 2010.

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Kristin Cavallari Doesn’t Look Happy About This

Apr 16th, 2010
by Amy Grindhouse.
8 comments

Kristin Cavallari and Hills co-star Audrina Patridge were photographed yesterday afternoon, shopping and shooting scenes for their soon-to-be-over reality show. So far as Patridge was concerned, there was little to report. I nearly called this post Audrina Patridge’s Boobs Went Shopping, ‘cos they did. I mean, really, that dress with no bra underneath. She walked around, got some sun, and stared at the ceiling. So far as Cavallari, she was playing second fiddle. Oh, and looking really unimpressed while being wired for sound for the taping. Yeah, wired for sound… not being felt up. Get your mind out of the gutter.

12 pictures show Kristin Cavallari and Audrina Patridge as they shoe shop and film scenes for non-reality show, The Hills in Beverly Hills, CA on April 15, 2010.

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