Jessica Simpson’s former boo shot a Funny or Die (FoD) video. Tony Romo, the Dallas Cowboys quarterback, sounded less retarded than I was assuming he would. He rather articulately mocks himself, talks about hos and Choco Yum, the petrol that tastes like gasoline. Mmm.

In the UK, the Army’s Band of the Coldstream Guards played Thriller by Michael Jackson as a tribute to the late star.

Before you go pooping your pants with excitement, you should know that they are unable to dance along, as they are lugging around instruments that weigh as much as one of Shauna Sands’ bubies. However, this video made me nearly poop with anticipation and actually poop while laughing. So your daily quota of convulsing until you have an unexpected bodily function will be fulfilled by playing this clip. Awesome.

The Army’s Band of the Coldstream Guards have done their own tribute to the late Michael Jackson, as they played one of his most famous hits Thriller near Buckingham Palace. Around 40 drummers, trumpeters, clarinet and trombone players took part. (via Sky News)

Some LQ screencaps from the funny video can be found below.

Oscar winner Jamie Foxx has been tempted by former Cheers star Kirstie Alley’s offer of romance – because he likes big women.

The actress recently revealed a longtime crush on the Ray star, telling America’s People magazine she wanted a “booty call” from the actor/singer, and Foxx admits Alley does meet his criteria of ideal women. He says, “I do like them thick (big)… (and) she is thick.” (Via IMDb)

I like “thick” guys myself. They’re only thick in one area but that works for me.

Anna Faris is a darling, but she shares a little too much information in interviews. I mean, I love TMI as much as anyone, but even I draw the line at stories of boozing up small children.

Despite being a bad influence on the kiddies, this actress is as cute as a button and not even her slightly annoying announcement to get relatively fat for the sake of love can change the fact that she is one of the least offensive female celebrities right now. 

Where other celebs slut and drink their way around the scene, Faris manages to mostly fly under the radar and keep her actions on the down-low. Well, that is until today when it was revealed that an embarrassing text messaging “Oops!” led her to invite a small child to go out drinking.

“I sent a text to a small child, asking the small child if they wanted to get drunk with me,” Faris told Tarts at last week’s T-Mobile Sidekick LX™ launch party at Hollywood’s Paramount Studios. 

“But I meant it for my friend. The small child said, ‘I don’t know what getting drunk means’ so bless their little heart.”

Image credit to Russ Einhorn/ Splash News.

Denise Richards’ and her “funbags” star in this hilarious Funny or Die (FoD) video.

The actress must be all kinds of hard up due to the recession if she is resorting to selling her tatas on FoD. Rather than pimp herself out to Playboy again, she simply traded her funbags for LOLs. Personally, I think it was worth the trade.

Who knew she even had a sense of humour???

Lindsay Lohan has made fun of herself and her fail relationship/ reported drinking problem/ inevitable pending breakdown.

Hohan is an easy target and yet, to be perfectly frank, spending moments of a day that one will never get back writing about her exploits is not something anyone wants to do. So, you will understand the jubilation when she and her fellow train-wrecks are so kind as to mock themselves, to spare others the pain of so doing.

Check out the video above, in which Lindsay Lohan appears in a mock eHarmony dating advert. Thus, she is parodying how completely ridiculous she appears to those whose job it is to sit and watch her and document every detail of her crumbling life. Well done for being so brave, and uncharacteristically self-deprecating Hohan!

This is such a non-story, but it was so funny that I had to post it here. The people at American Idol have got themselves in a bit of a pickle. The show has traditionally had 12 contestants in their final and so the phone numbers associated with their voting systems only go up to 12. 

The problem this year is that the show decided to be all special like and have a 13th contestant. This presents a real issue as they cannot access the phone number that would fit at the end of the sequence — because a phone sex company has already bought the number!

According to TMZ “A.I” only owns twelve numbers (1-866-IDOLS-01 through 1-866-IDOLS-12) — the Prescient Porn Company snatched up 1-866-IDOLS-13.

The “Idol” brass had to scramble — they’ll reveal the number for contestant 13 tonight.

This is such a LOL moment. I bet lots of tween fans are gonna grow up fast assuming contestant 13 will have that number, and they are going to get through to someone heaving down the phone like a heavy smoker instead.

You can listen to the audio from the naughty phone-line via TMZ.com.

How are these people running their shit? As if it weren’t bad enough that both sites were as fug as Beyonce’s Oscars dress, any visitors have to put up with the retarded notice stating that the stars are gonna be butt fucked until they pay their MFing bills.

The statement on Kimmy’s broke ass site reads “SITE DOWN  Due To Non-Payment — The site will temporarily be ‘non-active’ due to failure of payment”

WHAT DO YOU THINK of all these ‘celebs’ not paying their bills?

I totally wasn’t going to post this, as I thought my head may ASSplode from all the LOLing if I did… but this shit is too cool not to post.

The video above shows Ben Stiller spoofing fellow actor Joaquin Phoenix at the 2009 Oscars. The parody particularly makes fun of Phoenix’s infamous appearance on The Late Show With David Letterman. Stiller, 43, made fun of Phoenix’s hobo-beard, wearing glasses indoors and his general uber bat-shit-ass-craziness.

CLICK to watch the video!

Kate Hudson might be a little bit more of a minx than she is letting on – according to recent rumours [Website – Amy Grindhouse].

The actress reportedly had a rather saucy piece of hardware set up in her bathroom at home – a stripper pole!

According to The Scoop,“She’s so proud of it,” said an insider. “She was laughing and giddy like a kid when the thing was installed! She holds on with both her arms and flips her legs into the air. It’s kind of amazing and totally sexy.” 

According to the article Hudson has hurt herself using this type of thing before “Hudson did spend the afternoon of Feb. 7 at Wilson’s Malibu estate. But aerobic striptease has its risks. Hudson suffered two pole dancing-related injuries in 2006 — a pulled muscle in her leg and a friction burn on her arm — while gyrating for then-husband Chris Robinson.”

WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT HUDSON HAVING A STIPPER POLE?

Celebrity news and gossip written by AmyGrindhouse.com. Image credit to Splash News. Story courtesy of The Scoop.