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Posts under ‘Epic Casting Fail’

Diddy: Aubrey O’Day Given The Boot From Danity Kane Due To Her ‘Tude

Oct 16th, 2008
by Amy Grindhouse.
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It’s been a whole 24-hours since the news of Aubrey O’Day being fired from her R&B band, Danity Kane, was broadcast for the world to see… and by ‘broadcast for the world to see’, I mean ‘broadcast for the world to mock and speculate on’. [Website – Amy Grindhouse].

According to Big Bad Master P, O’Day being fired on live TV was nothing but a publicity stunt, to get the band more attention come 2009. The idea being to broadcast ‘Diddy’s Making The Band’ again, but with “bonus episodes”.

According to PNasty:

We’re pretty sure that Diddy’s decision to boot Aubrey and D. Woods from the band was just a ploy to keep making money off of unsuspecting fans, and that the “master star maker and a genius at creating drama” will be bringing the ousted members back.

EVP Series Development & Programming at MTV, Tony DiSanto, said, “There is so much more story to tell, amazing music and great drama to come. With Diddy you never quite know exactly what’s next…But it’s pretty certain you won’t be able to take your eyes off!”

Speaking of which, the Gossip Super Friends are still scratching their heads trying to figure out what the heck the real reason for O’Day being fired was.

No sensible reason has so far been given – Diddy was too busy jet-skiing on some exotic island, to bother participating on his own show, although he did send the following message by showbiz carrier pigeon:

“I just want to work with the young lady that I signed, not the person that fame has made her,” said Diddy via satellite on the show.

Band member Dawn Richard went on to reveal post-firing, “Puff did not like (Aubrey’s) image…where her image was going for the group.”

Oooh, snap, that is one mother of a passive-aggressive statement, if ever there was one!

What the heck does that even mean anyway?

She was fired for being too much more famous than the other members? Was she too bossy, too bitchy, too slutty… aaah, that skank factor. Let’s be real, O’Day’s ‘Open Gate’ policy may be the reason she was canned.

WHY DO YOU THINK AUBREY WAS FIRED?

[IMAGE CREDIT: Demis Maryannakis / Splash News]

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Scientology TV: Katie Holmes In Eli Stone

Oct 10th, 2008
by Amy Grindhouse.
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Does having the queen of an alien hive in your television production, automatically make it a Scientology tv-show? [Website – Amy Grindhouse]

If so, queen, Katie Holmes, Supreme Robot Ruler of all the Thetans, starring in ‘Eli Stone‘, is Scientology TV at its finest.

You should totally watch the clip above, in all its horrifying HQ glory.

In the clip, Holmes and her bouffant, granny-weave, attempt to sing and… um, I think… be sexy (???)

Watching this clip, one can only presume that Holmes attended a Scientology course, which gave her the superpower to channel Catherine-Zeta-Jones, à la Chicago!

DOES ANYONE HERE FIND HOLMES ‘SEDUCTION‘ OF STAR, JONNY-LEE MILLER, REMOTELY SEXY O_o?

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Dane Cook: 10 Reason To Hate ‘My Best Friend’s Girl’ Movie Poster

Aug 12th, 2008
by Amy Grindhouse.
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Some sources say Dane Cook is a big sissy girl. Others say he is somewhat dishy if you like that kind of thing, but he can rant and drivel on like a little girl [Website – Amy Grindhouse].

Comedian/actor Dane Cook claims to hate his latest movie’s poster and he has even blogged about 10 reasons why on his MySpace blog (see, big sissy girl):

“Dear Diary,

Before the downpour let me just say that my new movie, My Best Friends Girl, is the best / funniest film I’ve done yet. It’s got a terrific cast. Kate Hudson, Alec Baldwin, Jason Biggs, and myself [sic] really kicked the funny around. This movie showcases our talents accordingly as it expands on them. It’s a fun R-rated flick. An edgy comedy with a dash of romance.

That being said, let me address the fact that although I’m not a marketing major, I have a bit of a trusted reputation after 18 years self-promoting. I’d like to inform you I had no say in this marketing campaign, but if I did, things would be different since it is obvious that this poster is boring / odd and has zero to do with the movie I performed in. Here are a few things that truly blow about my upcoming movie poster to promote the release of the film opening on September 19th:

1. Graphics: Whoever photoshopped our poster must have done so at taser point with 3 minutes to fulfill their hostage takers deranged obligations. They should have called Donnie Hoyle and had him give a tutorial using “You Suck at Photoshop” templates. This is so glossy it makes Entertainment Weekly look wooden.

2. My head: The left side of my face seems to be melting off of my skull. I guess I am looking directly into the Ark of the Covenant? Are they going for the bells palsy thing here? My left side looks like Brittany Spears’ [sic] (VJJ).

3. The Stare: My character apparently has fallen in love with a strand of Kate Hudson’s hair. Kate’s mannequin is desperately in love with the inside of my right ear while Jason is half-stunned, half-corsage.

4. Lips: It looks like I’m wearing Maybelline Water Shine Diamonds Liquid Lipstick. My character’s name is now Winter Solstice and I’m a hooker with a heart of gold. Jason is my floral carrying pimp, while Kate is my first trick!

5. Fashion: My character is sporting a very high collar I mean damn they should be snow capped at that altitude. It’s going for the vampire lurking in the castle basement vibe. An Olympic pole vaulter would have a tough go clearing that collar. I’m also able to turn my head comfortably 180 degrees, because I was raised in an abandoned barn by a family of owls.

6. Flesh: It’s no secret that I’m more rugged facially due to a drunken visit by the teen acne fairy, but according to this poster I’ve got perfect porcelain flesh. I look like the f—in’ bathroom floor at Caesars Palace. One of Marie Osmond’s dolls would look at me and say “s— … that guys got flawless skin!”

7. Hair: It’s actually a close up shot of Tom Selleck’s Magnum P.I. mustache they photo-slapped on my noggin’.

8. The set: Pick one. This entire film takes place:

A. on Gattaca
B. at the Fortress of Solitude
C. inside a crystal wind chime

9. The cast: Alec Baldwin is so f—ing funny in this movie! Is he on the poster? I think so. He plays the wise talking plant Jason is clutching.

10. Final thoughts: I set out to make a movie like the contemporary men and women, that you and I respect, are making. My generation of comedians, actors, directors and producers that I wish to collaborate with as I build a solid body of work.

Granted, one poster stinking up the joint isn’t the end of the world. Yet it sends the wrong message about our movie and I just wanted you to know, that I feel the pain. I really love the film and I know from past missteps marketing wise that the wrong poster sends the wrong audience into the theater.

Thanks again for all of your support. If you have not seen the red band trailer (which is excellent and represents the flick accordingly) click on the link at the top of this page.

PS – “Its funny what love can make you do.” I just threw up all over this awful poster. Wow, wait … it looks better.

Hey … I love my new movie. Jeez … it IS funny what love can make you do.”

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Revenge Of The Wino

Aug 12th, 2008
by Amy Grindhouse.
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My arch-nemesis, a little know singer by the name of Amy Crackhouse (some affectionately call her Crackie for short) is on the rampage over the new 007 theme tune [Website – Amy Grindhouse].

Producers for (the EPIC fail named) ‘Quantum of Solace’ dumped Crackie’s version of the Bond theme for Alicia Keys and Jack White’s version due to her unreliability, or being a liability… whichever is funnier.

She has decided to it to release it anyway to prove it is better *drumroll please*

The girl they also call Wino reportedly told New Magazine (via Gigwise):

“I do think they could have waited a bit. If they want a worldwide hit I have them all up here (pointing to her beehive). I guess they are going for clean-cut and boring. When I do release mine – and I am tempted to do it on the same day – this would be the bigger hit.”

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Britney Spears & Russell Brand VMAs Skit: Videos

Aug 12th, 2008
by Amy Grindhouse.
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I watched these two piece of shit promos and was left thinking… ‘Was that it?’ [Website – Amy Grindhouse].

Click to play the video promos,’Pinch Me’ & ‘Name’. MTV VMA 2008 host Russell Brand stars alongside Britney Spears.

The promos did-what-they-said-on-the-tin.

The clip shows Brand and Spears, sitting on a chez-lounge of some description in some warehouse and the pair engage in banal conversation for 30-seconds at a time (even in those 30 seconds, Spears seems to forget Brand’s surname).

For shits sake, who comes up with this crap? I will give props where they are due. Brand looks suitably quaffed (be-afro’d and mustachioed) and Spears look sober… but really, is that supposed to compel nay-sayers into watching? Oh, and let’s not even go there with the flipin’ elephant in the room… Thoughts?

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Singer Jo Jo Turned Down ‘Hannah Montana’ Role

Aug 10th, 2008
by Amy Grindhouse.
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Hahaha. I don’t really care about this skank, but I read the headline ‘Jo Jo said no no to ‘Hannah Montana’ role’ and it was too funny not to write about.

Singer, Joanna “JoJo” Levesquentrary, best known for her (only) hit ‘Get Out’ (below), turned down the lead role in the teen hit ‘Hannah Montana’, that was later given to Miley Cyrus. This has to be a casting fail of epic proportions. Poor biotch, bet she cries herself to sleep at night, just like I do.

I don’t really care about Miley Cyrus either. However, she is famous and making more money than me at $18 million per year, so I guess she wins.

According to NY Daily News:

She’s got to be kicking herself for not taking the role that made young Miley Cyrus an overnight singing sensation. But JoJo is sticking to her guns.”No regrets. No regrets at all,” the 17-year-old told Extra. “Yeah, they offered me the role…[But] it’s not really what I see for myself.”