Eva Mendes covers Marie Claire March 2012 of which this is a preview (hence, no interview). I WTF-ed at this cover since it’s so horrible. It’s just unflattering. I hate the big hair. I hate how much they messed with her face. I hate the sloppy Photoshop on both arms. The whole cover’s jacked. Mendes is too pretty for this.
Promoting her Golden Globe-winning turn in My Week With Marilyn, declared a ‘hilarious comedy’ by Seth Rogan in between boner jokes, here’s Michelle Williams posing for GQ February 2012. The shoot’s an oddity, including the mangled copy pasta of her boobs/ bra on the cover. It’s like, botched MS Paint on a cover again. Ignoring the botched MS Paint boobs and the airbrushing, this whole shoot still feels off. It’s entirely fitting with Williams playing Marilyn Monroe, but it still feels… uneasy. Williams looks chilly, and glassy-eyed, and shiny, and waxen, and frightened as though she’s been coerced into the shoot by someone yelling threats off-camera. It’s so awkward, you almost don’t notice the budget wig, nor the I’M SOOO GREEN amateur posing, nor the body-language.
Brad Pitt’s 1996 face and ‘bang me’ eyebrows cover W Magazine February 2012 (Charlize Theron also covers, she’s coming up). I think I like this cover, which is odd since dude covers are rarely anything to write home about. The styling and the composition is always half-asleep and drama-free compared to the women’s covers (and I don’t think it’s because I’m a girl either). However, Pitt’s 1996 face looks like the life’s work of a digital artist for W before they literally worked themselves to death. Pitt was interviewed by Lynn Hirschberg. The excerpts are mostly uneventful, but the overworked images are handsome and captivating.
POW, right in the kisser. Here’s Mila Kunis in her new campaign for Dior that’s altogether too brooding and uneventful for my liking. There’s something bizarre going on with the lighting in each picture and the overall composition is rather odd. Her face is warped somewhere between the poor choice of camera angle and the enthusiastic Photoshop; the worst example being the photo with the red purse (it’s like she was sick that day, so they used a Kunis Real Doll instead).
Lindsay Lohan’s Playboy photos have leaked online because contrived publicity stunts are worth their weight in cracked ginger biscuits. The spread reportedly leaked this morning. I actually found them by accident on a SFW site. I was all ‘Oh, this again.’ But literally the whole photo shoot has leaked online, seemingly scanned in by a random magazine site who got their hands on the issue (the leak includes the articles themselves). The shoot is basically Lohan, on a red background with a heavy red lip and assorted wigs, contorting so as not to give away her biscuity goodness. They’re basically heavily-Photoshopped covered nudes and she’s mainly just topless (not that it matters since ‘Ginger biscuit’ is a simple Google away). Playboy made sure to inform TMZ.com they were ‘freaking out,’ about the totes accidental leak that did NOT come from themselves, Lohan, or her pimp momager. Reportedly this morning’s leak of the XXL, HQ pictures could spell poor sales for the shoot they paid $1,000,000 for when they’ve already printed extra hoping for a boost in sales. Click for more.
Scarlett Johansson covers Cosmopolitan January 2012 after being cut and copy-pastad by an eight-year-old with only use of their feet. What is this cover? It’s MS Paint’s finest, that’s what it is. Or some jacka$$ messed around with her proportions in Photoshop. She looked WAY thinner and her boobs were bigger in Interview Magazine (NSFW). IDK, maybe it’s just the Wal-Marty budgetness of the OMO Norma Kamali dress that’s throwing me off. Its lace, padded, ill-fitting goodness. It BURNS. Oh, God, it burns. Only one quote has been released so far: ’I’m attracted to the quality of being adventurous and perhaps a bit mischievous and also questioning authority and being proactive. If that makes up a quintessential bad boy, then whatever. I’m not at all attracted to meanness or bullying, but I do think conviction is attractive. I mean, really, who doesn’t?’
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