I get backache just looking at photos of teen bride Courtney Stodden, 17, as she arches her back in an uncomfortable arch and thrusts as many curves as possible in the direction of her 51-year-old husband. She tries so hard and thrusts so often and it’s so forced. Pretending that they married for love, not for sex or a reality show, Stodden sat for a live interview with RadarOnline.com for their Facebook page. In a video that you can watch at Jezebel.com, Stodden talks about being excited on her wedding night, her honeymoon at the Chateau Marmont, and how she’s nearly got her impression of an adult woman’s sexuality down to a tea. Asked again if she wants to attend college, she replied, ‘I would go to college and study all of Doug. All of his body; all the elements within that. What they do and what they still do. It would be a lot of fun,’ then she stroked her thigh.
Posts under ‘Courtney Stodden’
Child bride, Courtney Stodden, 17, and her creepy creeper husband Doug Hutchison, 51, have landed that reality show they were mugging for in their inane television interviews with GMA, Father Albert, and E! Online. They were married in May, when she was 16-years-old, and they spent the entire months of July and August giving interviews to anyone who would have them. Her mother, who co-signed the relationship and gave permission for the marriage to be legally carried out, even fed stories to RadarOnline.com. And her daughter even staged a set of photos for my photo agency, INF, walking around Hollywood in stripper heels.. And they’ve been shilling and promoting themselves in any way possible, punctuating each peace of publicity with their hopes to land a reality show. And now they have one. Stodden’s pimp momager, Krista Keller, confirms to E!, ‘It’s going to show people what they can teach each other from different generations. They’re going to touch on family issues. There was a lot of judgment about their marriage from Doug’s side of the family, so it will touch on bringing families back together and why it’s important to support family members even if you don’t agree.’ The show doesn’t have a working title yet, nor has it started filming yet.
In news that will creep no one out, Courtney Stodden turns 17-years-old today and she’s celebrating by writing porn on Twitter, planning a trip to Disneyland that may be on hold, and opening the Victoria’s Secret gifts from her creeper husband, 51-year-old Doug Hutchison. I’m not kidding. Looking for generic updates on her Twitter about turning 17 and her marriage being one-year less-creepy, I got this… ‘While I lie beneath this sizzling-sun, the popsicle that I am sweetly sucking on begins to melt & drips irresistibly all over my moist body!’ And this, ‘Celebrating the last night of being sweet-n-sexy 16 by wearing NOTHING but my tasty bday-suit! Mmm; Yummy!’ WTF am I reading right now? So her birthday will consist of: bad Twitter porn, a belated trip to Disneyland, panties, and sucking on… WTFever while in her birthday suit. I’m actually going to glaze over the phallic references and the oral fixation and the panties from Creeper and just say… if your wife can’t decide between edible panties or a ride on the teacups, SHE’S TOO DAMN YOUNG. She told RadarOnline.com ‘I’m so happy! This is the best birthday ever, 17 is going to be even better than 16 because I’m going to spend the whole year with my wonderful husband!’ Notes Radar, ‘Courtney’s big plans to spend the day at Disneyland are on hold until the heat wave gripping Southern California subsides, but she said after a shopping trip she and her hubby might hit a local lake to cool off in the water. [Doug] surprised [her] with birthday gifts from Victoria’s Secret, her favorite store.’
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Courtney Stodden, 16 for another few days, and her 51-year-old Green Mile actor husband, Doug Hutchison won’t quit. It was confirmed during their first ridiculous interview with Good Morning America, in between arches of Stodden’s back/ each incessant reptilian lick of her lips, that the couple were shopping a reality show. Apparently, money and ideas for shows were being thrown at them and they were in serious talks about a show promoting a marriage that lost Hutchison professional respect, representation and even the support of his family. Because when you seduce a hyper-sexual woman-child, it’s an even better idea to sell that seduction and show other creepers how it’s done. They’ve given another interview, confirming they’re in the final stages of negotiation. Stodden told Australia’s The Morning Show ’1 + 16 = sexy love,’ adding, ‘His face, of his body of his sexy hair! Talk about seducing; he seduced me immediately. I knew off the bat that he was the one for me and that was it. When you find that one man you know you love, go for it!’ The couple added that they had been ‘seduced by a lot of producers… It’s going to be a reality show like no other, out of this world.’
I intended only to give her page a cursory glance for more information about the photos in this post. And what I found was this. This! The feed of married 16-year-old Courtney Stodden brags about her sex-life, being naked, working out in heels, baking in/ having sex in/ waking up in her bikini. Almost every tweet has a weirdly-sexual overtone. It’s the weirdest thing to read. I capped it, so you don’t have to risk child bride cooties by looking yourself. I’ll give you some examples. For something as innocuous as shopping, we get: ‘Just in from strolling the sexiest clothing shops in Hollywood. Mmm… who doesn’t love tantalizing wear? ;-x’ For dancing, we get: ‘Turned on some soft slow jams, lit a few candles & dimmed the lights; There’s this sensual energy in the air that is making me want to dance.’ For baking, we get: ‘Throwin on a white string bikini, fluffy light up bunny ears, 7in heels, & a rhinestone bow tie while bakin cookies.’ On being a whore, we get: ‘Just learned how to do the splits… Figured I’d need to know how to do that trick sooner or later! Who knew my legs were so flexible?! ;- )’ For applying lotion, we get: ‘Spreading Victoria’s Secret’s Love Spell lotion all over my smooth body. Mmm… So sensual… so sweet. This scent is delicious!’ For WTF ever this is, we get: ‘Stepped my paws into a sexy wet cat-suit; Prowling mysteriously around the house while lickin’ my lips searchin’ for some nip! MEEEOWWW! ;- )’ On her ‘lover’ we get: ‘I love nothing more than staying in and enjoying a Saturday night with my lover! ;- ) Meow!’ Finally, for the bathing suit shoot, we get: ‘A soft sensation sweetly kisses my body as I prepare for a sexy hot photo shoot this afternoon. What a breathtaking morning it has been! ;- )’ These tweets are dotted amongst updates about time spent at church. Uhuh.
Courtney Stodden’s 16-year-old crotch is hanging out of a sub-Baywatch bathing suit (she will be 17 on August 29). These are new photos posted to Stodden’s blog. The half-naked crotch shots follow criticism that she’s a fame-whore who married her perv 51-year-old husband to boost her career as a future Hooters girl. Because girls who make bad decisions need love too. I don’t even… I dunno.
51-year-old actor Doug Hutchison and his 16-year-old wife Courtney Stodden, are back in the news. This time it’s an exclusive RadarOnline.com interview with Stodden’s mother. The couple admitted, during one of their first televised interviews, they were shopping a reality show. Because people want to watch their pulled, naturally bolted-on, plastic, creepy love. Well, the girl who claimed to be a virgin at marriage because of her religious conviction is not planning to pop out creepy, plastic babies. Not yet, because she’s practicing safe sex. At least that’s what she’s telling her mother… because ending up on Teen Mom would be the real disappointment here. ‘She’s making sure as much as she can at this time that it isn’t happening,’ said Krista Stodden. ‘She’s on birth control because she would prefer to wait for children. Her husband might have a different idea though. I think Doug would love t’o have children, but Courtney wants to wait a few years. Courtney wants to work on her career.’ A career ‘pursuing acting’ and miming her songs on YouTube? I see what you did there.
Despite fairly extensive conjecture to the contrary, because she has the look of a weathered Real Housewife, turns out the child bride of actor Doug Hutchison, 51, is really 16-years-old. I’m going to lazily assume this is all legal, from when they started dating to when they started sleeping together, and at no point has she been underage. Her parents liked Hutchison and defended him to the press when there was a scandal about the marriage. And the parents co-signed everything about the wedding as the teenager was too young to marry in her state without parental consent. So, it’s gross and creepy but whatever. E! Online claim to have a copy of Stodden’s birth certificate. And, despite skepticism about her age, she’s really 16; she was born on Aug. 29, 1994. Hutchison was born May 26, 1960 and is very close in age to the girl’s mother. As a sidenote: Celebitchy essentially confirmed the same but with people from Stodden’s hometown, last week. As another sidenote: the marriage certificate listed her age but no one believed it.