Posts under ‘Courtney Stodden’

In news that will creep no one out, Courtney Stodden turns 17-years-old today and she’s celebrating by writing porn on Twitter, planning a trip to Disneyland that may be on hold, and opening the Victoria’s Secret gifts from her creeper husband, 51-year-old Doug Hutchison. I’m not kidding. Looking for generic updates on her Twitter about turning 17 and her marriage being one-year less-creepy, I got this… ‘While I lie beneath this sizzling-sun, the popsicle that I am sweetly sucking on begins to melt & drips irresistibly all over my moist body!’ And this, ‘Celebrating the last night of being sweet-n-sexy 16 by wearing NOTHING but my tasty bday-suit! Mmm; Yummy!’ WTF am I reading right now? So her birthday will consist of: bad Twitter porn, a belated trip to Disneyland, panties, and sucking on… WTFever while in her birthday suit. I’m actually going to glaze over the phallic references and the oral fixation and the panties from Creeper and just say… if your wife can’t decide between edible panties or a ride on the teacups, SHE’S TOO DAMN YOUNG. She told RadarOnline.com ‘I’m so happy! This is the best birthday ever, 17 is going to be even better than 16 because I’m going to spend the whole year with my wonderful husband!’ Notes Radar, ‘Courtney’s big plans to spend the day at Disneyland are on hold until the heat wave gripping Southern California subsides, but she said after a shopping trip she and her hubby might hit a local lake to cool off in the water. [Doug] surprised [her] with birthday gifts from Victoria’s Secret, her favorite store.’

I intended only to give her page a cursory glance for more information about the photos in this post. And what I found was this. This! The feed of married 16-year-old Courtney Stodden brags about her sex-life, being naked, working out in heels, baking in/ having sex in/ waking up in her bikini. Almost every tweet has a weirdly-sexual overtone. It’s the weirdest thing to read. I capped it, so you don’t have to risk child bride cooties by looking yourself. I’ll give you some examples. For something as innocuous as shopping, we get: ‘Just in from strolling the sexiest clothing shops in Hollywood. Mmm… who doesn’t love tantalizing wear? ;-x’ For dancing, we get: ‘Turned on some soft slow jams, lit a few candles & dimmed the lights; There’s this sensual energy in the air that is making me want to dance.’ For baking, we get: ‘Throwin on a white string bikini, fluffy light up bunny ears, 7in heels, & a rhinestone bow tie while bakin cookies.’ On being a whore, we get: ‘Just learned how to do the splits… Figured I’d need to know how to do that trick sooner or later! Who knew my legs were so flexible?! ;- )’ For applying lotion, we get: ‘Spreading Victoria’s Secret’s Love Spell lotion all over my smooth body. Mmm… So sensual… so sweet. This scent is delicious!’ For WTF ever this is, we get: ‘Stepped my paws into a sexy wet cat-suit; Prowling mysteriously around the house while lickin’ my lips searchin’ for some nip! MEEEOWWW! ;- )’ On her ‘lover’ we get: ‘I love nothing more than staying in and enjoying a Saturday night with my lover! ;- ) Meow!’ Finally, for the bathing suit shoot, we get: ‘A soft sensation sweetly kisses my body as I prepare for a sexy hot photo shoot this afternoon. What a breathtaking morning it has been! ;- )’ These tweets are dotted amongst updates about time spent at church. Uhuh.

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