Mad Men is about to come back in a few days. Which means you’ll be able to examine the stitching on Christina Hendricks’ dirty pillows on your 60 inch television screen or in 3D if that’s how you get down. Until then you can squint at the stitching on her dirty pillows on your iPhone because here they are on the cover of FLARE Magazine May 2013 where apparently their vision is based on movement so you should probably stop fidgeting and looking right at them.
Christina Hendricks is a natural blonde who dyed her hair red for one modelling job and it stuck. Because people do notice red hair in a sea of indistinguishable blondes and because people don’t notice racks in a sea of racks (her rack a decade ago was… less magnificent). Hendricks recalls her former agents pressuring her to return to her original look, calling her red look ‘ugly.’ She explains: ‘When I first started modelling I was blonde. Then I got a job and they wanted to do my hair bright red. I’d always wanted to, but the head of my agency was like, ‘You look terrible, it’s so ugly, you cannot have red hair.’ I came back as a redhead and couldn’t get my hair back to blonde for two days. In the meantime, I had to audition. I booked two or three jobs, because were a lot fewer redheads than blondes, and I was like, this is working for me, I’m keeping this! I think it does make you stand out. People remember you when there’s a sea of faces. It helps.’
It’s the end of a two-week period during which mother nature and the presidential election cockblocked our regularly scheduled programming. So here’s a glorious rack to bring back that sense of normalcy because breasts are like hugs for those of us who weren’t hugged enough as children. Moreover, if this week has taught me anything, it’s that I don’t really understand foreign politics as well as I thought but I do understand glorious racks and I’m pretty sure those are tax deductable. Learning! Here’s Hendricks attending a screening of Ginger And Rosa at AFI Fest 2012 at Grauman’s Chinese Theater in Los Angeles, CA.
If you’ve ever watched Jon Hamm’s Don Draper character drink himself into cirrhosis of the liver while disappearing into a cloud of smoke, you’ll know what a crime it is that Mad Men was overlooked for the drama Emmy for the fifth year running after it lost to Homeland which also took lead drama actor and actress. I literally got into the show because of this guy and I spent seasons one through four in particular fighting the urge to start drinking and smoking (of which I do neither) just to fit in because it’s COOL. But lung cancer nor liver cirrhosis are cool enough to win the show an award from the 17 categories in which it was nominated this year. And not even The Beatles nor the most glorious product placement ever nor the most glorious breasts ever (sorry, Kat Dennings) are going to win the show any awards for which they’re clearly being snubbed so I’m a little lost as to why the Emmys are even nominating them at all if not only to placate the entire cast with even more alcohol. In any case, I follow no one’s rules. Christina Hendricks’ breasts win all the awards because of course they do.
In what’s effectively Kat Dennings’ breasts yearbook photo, on which they’ll look back and laugh when they graduate to become Christina Hendricks’ breasts like they’re people, the former is wearing blue Vivienne Westwood at the summer press tour party for the Television Critics Association in Los Angeles whereas the latter wore a red version of the same Vivienne Westwood last September.
Christina Hendricks’ breasts cover The Hollywood Reporter because, sure, why not? I’m going to skip the exposition because there are breasts up there and I know better. But she gives an interesting interview and her shoot’s really pretty.
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