Homeless Kardashian lost 90 pounds when he stopped being one of the guys sleeping with Rita Whora. But the 26-year-old says he’s got some more sad-fee-fees-pounds to go. Speaking to Us Weekly, Kardashian admitted, ’I lost 5 to 7 [pounds] last week. I’m trying to lose 40. It’s a little journey, but it’s good. I’m like 240 right now… probably 235.’
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Kris Jenner does all Kim Kadashian’s thinking and obviously told her the easiest way to whore out your kid is to copy Jessica Simpson’s plan of attack by throwing all reason and willpower out the window. Which explains why Kardashian swallowed Simpson whole, sideways, without even gagging. Because as a bunch of you pointed out, Kanye West putting a baby in there is a fairly obvious long-con to excise even more money out of the general public. Except I guess Kardashian and Jenner don’t read the news and missed the fat-shaming that went along with Simpson’s first pregnancy. A source tells NYDN: ‘She is finding the criticism difficult, but has tough skin. Her body is getting wider and most things don’t fit properly or aren’t comfortable. However, at the end of the day, she cares about the health of her baby. Her maternity wardrobe isn’t on her mind.’
Kris Jenner is living vicariously through her favourite child, Kim Kardashian. And when her favourite grandchild is born, Jenner will get to suck the life out of that kid too. And while we wait for the anticlimax that is Kardashian’s surprise that childbirth hurts, we get five more months of the jumping the shark that is Kardashian’s attempts at Mommy Blogging. Thus far, the ‘blogs’ have been thinly-veiled shills for maternity clothing in exchange for money or free product because a credulous sycophant and their money is soon parted. I guess she just got given a bunch more free product, because she’s shilling jeans again.
So I wanted to do a mommy blog today to talk about fashion during the early stages of a pregnancy. For me, I’ve found that I’ve gained inches and I’ve gotten wider but my belly hasn’t popped yet, so I struggle finding things that don’t make me look heavy. Some days my baby bump really shows, and some days it doesn’t… so I never really know what I’m going to look like. At this stage I guess I’m more focused on concealing the weight gain than I am about dressing the bump, just because it hasn’t popped yet. My new [shill] maternity jeans are a blessing because they make me feel slim and comfortable, and I’m excited to try other looks! I heard [shill] makes some amazing maternity jeans too. Once I start showing more I’ll be all about showing off my bump, and I can’t wait!
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Kim Kardashian has been tweeting photos taken 2008 through 2011 and pretending they’re recent because it’s not like everyone knows she’s growing a People Magazine cover in her ass. The 32-year-old seems insecure about getting bigger and she’s been deceiving fans with old photos that are masquerading as new. She finally admitted they’re old photos today. But she says she’s sharing them because she misses being ‘so skinny’ as she wrote on one photo. Here’s a photo she shared, above, compared to photos taken Thursday, below.
Kim Kardashian is full of Kris Jenner’s broken dreams and the only part of her that is not ocupada is her butt so that’s where the baby is growing. Talking to Cosmopolitan about the very real chance that her butt will become sentient and demand its own spin-off within the remaining five months, Kardashian says she’ll probably gain a lot of weight during her pregnancy: ‘I’ll definitely be up there,’ she said. Previously, she told DuJour Magazine, ‘I used to always say I can’t wait to get pregnant because I will just eat whatever I want… but it’s completely different. I’m like, OK, I want to eat as healthy as possible.’ More photos below.
Speaking to the media because what could possibly go wrong, Amanda Bynes has told Us Weekly Magazine 25 Things about herself that you couldn’t have learned from talking to her dealer. It’s basically Mad-Libs with generic answers and product placement written where the truth should be, like Bynes saying ‘My favorite store is American Apparel,’ and ‘Rag and Bone makes the best jeans,’ and ‘My favorite perfume is Stella by Stella McCartney,’ and ‘I went on Accutane and it really helped my skin clear up.’ Because you don’t know about these 25 Brands and their low, low prices. Another thing, Amanda Bynes thinks there’s too much Amanda Bynes and wishes there were about 20 pounds less of her. She tells the tabloid ‘I gain weight quickly so I need to work out constantly,’ adding at 5 foot 8ins, she wishes she were 100 lbs. ‘I moved to New York City and I love it! I lost 4 lbs. since I moved. I’m 121 lbs… my goal is 100 lbs.’